Safe and Sound
by titieli
Summary: What would have happened if Katniss and Prim had an older sister? One who wasn't afraid to do anything for their family, one who hated the Capitol with such a passion, she didn't miss an opportunity to make an act of rebellion. What if she volunteered before Katniss could? What if she went to the 74th hunger games instead? Gale H./OC rated T because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **

What would have happened if Katniss and Prim had an older sister? One who wasn't afraid to do anything for their family, one who hated the Capitol with such a passion, she didn't miss an opportunity to make an act of rebellion. What if she volunteered before Katniss could? What if she went to the 74th hunger games instead?

_By the time I was fourteen my name had been entered 13 times already so now at the age of 17 I'll have my name in 37 times. When dad died and mom shut down, I had to take over the responsibility of keeping us alive and later Katniss joined me. We took it upon ourselves that no matter how bad we were doing we'd never let Prim take tesserae. That's why volunteering for her was something instinctively, not a surprise at all. What was a surprise, though, was __**him **__volunteering. We had a deal, if one of us got reaped we'd go and the ones who stayed would take care of the other's family. He wasn't supposed to volunteer._

_ I start to cry when I feel Katniss, who never cries, start sobbing. I always knew I'd do anything for them and taking a death sentence for them was something I was prepared for but I never thought it'd come true. Until now._

**_A/N: okay, guys. if you haven't noticed by now, I've got a thing for OC. whenever I'm not happy with how a certain character's story ends, I have this sudden urge to create a different ending. OC are more comfortable for me because I can play with them. I love gadge, but I don't think I can write Madge down the right way. that's why I mostly write about OCs. I do not, in any way, feel represented by any of the OC so don't expect this to be all roses and rainbows. anyway, what I'm trying to say is bear with me here please. and give it a chance, I'm literally in love with this story and I published it in another site and it has gotten a very positive response. tell me what you think, please, I'd appreciate it._**

**_love, me. _**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 1:_**

Waking up to a cold empty bed this time of the year is not new to me. Prim must have been scared and climbed in with our mother and Katniss, it is reaping day after all. Sitting on the bed and running a hand through my golden locks, I realize it must be around 5 A.M. because there is barely enough light. I stretch and get up, deciding not to lose time, and start getting dress in my pants and grey shirt.

On my way out, I peek through the door leading to my mother's room and, fair enough, there they are my two little sisters: Primrose and Katniss. Katniss barely deserves the title little anymore, she's only a year younger than me and already 16 but to me she'll always be my little sister, the one I'd protect from anything and everything. Prim, however, is only 12 years old and today's her first reaping; I'm more worried about her than I'm worried about me.

I walk around the Seam, towards the meadow that separates district 12 from the dangerous woods. Enclosing all of district 12 there's a high chain-linked fence which is supposed to be electrified 24/7 but the majority of the time, it isn't. I jump through a two foot stretch of the fence that's been loose for years and in a blink of an eye, I'm on the woods right when the sun is staring to rise. I take a bow and arrows from our hiding spot and left another set for Katniss, knowing she'd be here in no time. I know I shouldn't let her hunt—even though, the woods are like a second home to me, it really _is_ dangerous here—but she's as stubborn as they come and I cant do anything about it now. Still, I freaked out when I found out she had been coming to the woods without my permission.

It was a long time ago; I was 13 and had started going to the woods by myself a few months after my father's death in the mine accident, it had been scary as hell but, fortunately, I wasn't alone. Even though he was a year older than me, Gale Hawthorne, whose father had also died in the mines, had been my friend for as long as I'd remember and the need to survive drove us even closer. We weren't just friends, after our father's death we became hunting partners and then best friends.

The day I found Katniss in the woods, I had been with Gale checking if something had catch in the snares when suddenly I heard him say:

"You do know stealing is against the law, right? Punishment is whipping, sometimes even worst."  
I frowned not understanding why he was telling me this.

"I wasn't stealing, I was curious. Mine didn't catch any." Said a little voice that sent my heart racing.

I knew that voice, it belong to Katniss, but that was impossible because she's at home playing with prim like she did every other Sunday. It must be my paranoid mind playing tricks on me. I made my way silently towards where he was a few trees away from me and listened closely to the conversation.

"What's your name?" He asked, but the answer was muttered so low I couldn't hear.

"Catnip?" He asked confused.

By then I was close enough to see the little girl that was without any doubt, my sister.

"Katniss" she and I said at the same time with the same accusatory tone. Hers was directed to Gale but mine was completely directed to her and she knew it. When hearing my voice she flinched and Gale turned around, frown etched to his face.

"Katniss? As in your sister Katniss?"

I nodded and then stepped closer to her and grabbed her by the arm, starting to walk to the fence and dragging her with me.

"No, Heather, please! Let me stay, please!" She exclaimed but I kept dragging her.

"Care to explain to me why the hell are you here?" I whispered yelled, not wanting anyone to hear us.

"I want to help! And I'm not leaving here until you tell me I can stay, permanently." She demanded stubbornly and I knew there was no coming back.

A snap of a twig makes all of my focus go back to the woods where I am now. I turn around, bow and arrow ready and wait for any sound. I don't see anything of importance, only a bunny white as snow, so I dismiss it; any other day that bunny would be dead by now but today I'm feeling generous. I close my eyes and try to listen for a deer; I always look for deer first and then I start looking for other animals. Looking for a deer usually takes me about ten minutes and then I give up, they're as rare as snow in summer.

"You won't scare me, Gale." I say, opening my eyes.

I hear his laugh to my right and turn around, my heart racing when his handsome figure appears. Everyone in the whole district believes Gale and I will end up together, everyone except him.

"How did you know it was me?" he asks and I shrug, smiling.

"Are you kidding? She'd recognize your footsteps anywhere." Katniss says, appearing out of nowhere and making my smile fall.

"Hi, Catnip. Look what I got." He tells her and gets out a loaf of bread, Real bakery bread, that's been pierced through with an arrow.

We both look at him surprised, it must have cost him so much and he must have been at the bakery before the sun was even up. We go to our relax place as I call it, it's actually a bunch of rocks overlooking the woods; it gives us the advantage of seeing without being seen. Gale and Katniss start to talk right away and I feel the jealousy creeping slowly into me. I don't know why, though, I know Katniss knows I want him and I know she doesn't love him that way but I'm not sure about how he feels. I used to be but not anymore. It was last year, around a month before I turned 16 when I started to fully suspect it. One morning I had been waiting a full four hours for Gale to appear at our relax place but he was a no show, Katniss wasn't coming she was sick at home and after going to the hob to trade for the game I had hunt, on my way home I decided to go check on Gale.

"Hi, is Gale home?" I had asked Hazelle, Gale's mother, when she opened the door. Her face immediately turned to confusion as she studied me.

"Actually, no, he went out with Katniss a few hours ago—I though you were with him." She had frowned and my heart sank. That was the first time I was jealous of my sister.

The same event happened a few more times, and each day my suspicions grew stronger and bigger. It wasn't until the day of my birthday when I woke up to find mother, prim, Katniss and even Gale at my room singing happy birthday that I found out they had actually been planning my birthday for the entire month. Still, since that day I always think Gale has a thing for my sister and with every passing day I think more and more that it is real. I even made it clear to him that I thought—think—he's in love with Katniss and not once has he denied it. So I guess we'll disappoint all of district 12 by not getting together.

"I almost forgot happy hunger games!" Gale says, gray eyes shinning with sarcasm, as he throws us some berries that we caught in the air.

"And may the odds—"Katniss begins to say after swallowing.

"—be _ever_ in your favor." I finish with that annoying capitol accent and then laugh, wiping at my mouth to make sure all of the remains of the bread and berries are gone.

It's incredible how much Gale and Katniss look alike, with their dark hair and blue-gray eyes, whereas I look completely out of place with my blue eyes and golden hair. I'm completely like the girls in town, the genes I absolutely got from my mom, and Katniss is like the people from the Seam, where our father came from.

"How many times is your name there?" Katniss asks us seriously, realization sinking in and the mood darkening slightly.

"Forty two." Gale says, suddenly breaking the eye contact he had with her and looking at the mountains in front of us.

I sigh and his eyes flicker to me for a second before turning back to Katniss. "What about you?" he asks her. She takes her cap off her head and lets her dark braid fall loosely down her back.

"Twelve, it'd be more if someone would let me take the tesserae instead of taking it all herself." She says, pointedly looking at me but I ignore her and look up at the blue sky feeling both of their eyes on me.

I know Gale doesn't ask _me_ not because he doesn't care but because the number scares him almost as much as it scares Katniss, and he's scared of nothing. By the time I was fourteen my name had been entered 13 times already so now at the age of 17 I'll have my name in 37 times.

"At least is your last year." I mutter, finally looking at him.

"I wish it was your last year—or that it had been your last year two years ago, in that case you'd be safe." He says back, his eyes meeting mine and the world suddenly forgotten.

I hate it when he does that, catch me in his beautiful eyes that don't let me go. It's like he's the snare and I'm the inoffensive little squirrel that gets trapped. I clear my throat and look away, remembering he loves my sister and not me.

"Do you guys mind if I leave early today?" I ask getting up and unbraiding my hair.

Katniss looks up to me with a look I know too well: sympathy. I dismiss her altogether and start to walk back to the fence when something, or well someone, stops me.

"Are you ok?"

Am I ok? No. but do I really have to worry them by telling them so? That'd be an absolute no. taking a deep breath, I turn around to find them already on their feet and smile.

"I just want to make sure Prim's ready on time." I tell them and see Gale relax visibly, Katniss, however, tense more. She knows Prim has no problem in getting ready by herself. I leave anyway.

The walk home consists most of nothing but me holding back tears, today is a very stressful day and I fear more for Primrose and Katniss and Gale and Madge—She's the daughter of the mayor and we're good friends I guess but most importantly, she's Katniss' _only_ friend—and Camilla and Faith, two of the girl friends I have, than for me. Once I'm home I have the misfortune to find Prim almost ready, the only thing left to do is braid her hair in two beautiful braids.

"Heather! Why are you here?" she gasps happily and stops doing her hair to run and hug me.

I crunch down and hug her tightly, I swear this girl is my world and I honestly don't know what I'd do without her, without any of them for that matter. When dad died and mom shut down, I had to take over the responsibility of keeping us alive and later Katniss joined me. We took it upon ourselves that no matter how bad we were doing we'd never let Prim take tesserae. And we have succeed this far.

"I decided to come early to help you, but you're almost done." I smile at her but then I notice the back of her shirt is sticking out of her skirt.

"Let's tuck this tail in, little duck." I say fixing her shirt and kissing her cheek.

"Quack!" she giggles, starting to do her braids again.

Suddenly I feel my mothers presence behind me and I turn around to meet the woman who has the exact same blue eyes and the same golden hair that I have, the only difference is that she has bags under her eyes and her hair, once in ringlets, is now flat and her eyes are drain of any real life. She's alive but she doesn't really live.

"Mother." I nod at her bitterly.

She then tells me she's arrange two buckets of warm water for me to wash and has also set out a pretty white dress and black shoes to wear to the reaping. I take this as her way of saying 'well, seeing as though you're finally home on time. Why don't you get ready and that way I don't have to worry about another daughter not being on time?' never the less, I do as I'm told.

Once I'm clean and dress, my mother sits me down on the bed and calls Prim to help her do my hair. After a few minutes of silence, she decides to break it.

"What really happened? I know you didn't come here earlier just to help Prim."

There's the question I dread and obviously I know she knows the answer, so I just shrug and say: "Nothing out of the ordinary."

She remains quiet until they're finished with my hair and then tells me to look in the cracked mirror. What I see takes my own breath away. I've always known I'm pretty, everyone tells me so it must be true, but never this pretty. The dress was my mother's and so were the shoes but they fit me perfectly and they have done my hair in a high ponytail with a dark purple ribbon being the only thing to hold it in place. If someone from another district saw me, they'd say I'm just another girl from town. Not the Seam. That's why all of my friends, apart from Gale, are from town, because I fit with them whereas when I'm in the Seam, I stand out like black rabbit on a snowy day. My surprise and bewilderment is replaced by a great anger. How ironic it is that the day I'm the prettiest is for reaping day. It seems that the only thing my mind can come up with is _it's wrong, it's wrong, it's unfair, it's unfair, it's wrong._ Over and over again and I find myself biting my lips to prevent from screaming it.

We hear the door open and close and turn around to see a moody Katniss make her way to the bathroom, ready to get clean without really acknowledging us. Twenty minutes later she's all done but still incredibly bitter. As we walk to the square, where the reaping and watching of the games occurs and it's also almost the only pretty place of the district, none of us dare say a word. Our mother walks with a fast pace, quickly leaving us behind and receiving a glare from Katniss but I understand. It must be difficult to see a kid of your own go to the reaping. Imagine that pain multiplied by 3, I don't understand how people have more that 2 kids.

When we reach the square and give the peacekeepers our blood samples, we unfortunately have to separate. Prim goes to the 12 section, Katniss to the 16 where I see her talk to Madge, and I go right to the 17 section where Camilla and Faith are waiting for me. They smile friendly to me and I give them a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek to each of them and then turn to the stage. Effie trinket is already in front of the microphone, ready to start talking and to choose the two 'lucky' ones that get to die within the next three weeks.

I quickly glance to where I know Gale's going to be and smile when I see him looking back at me. 'Happy hunger games' he mouths to me as Effie starts saying the exact same thing and I find myself holding back giggles.

"And may the odds be _ever _in your favor." Effie trinket finishes with her lousy capitol tone and then pauses surveying the crowd. "Ladies first."

She walks to the bowls and starts to move her fingers around all the little papers until they stop at one. I take a deep breath in and shut my eyes close, because the only thing I think of is the 42 pieces of paper with 'Gale Hawthorne' written in black ink, or those 12 that say 'Katniss Everdeen.' But nothing prepares me to what I'm hearing because never in a thousand years have I imagine her picking that single piece of paper with 'Primrose Everdeen' written in cursive letters.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 2:_**

The moment I hear my little sister's name being called out, my eyes fly open and my head gets dizzy. There doesn't seem to be enough air and I'm having trouble breathing; I watch Prim walk to the stage like in a fog until my eyes found Katniss who is moving slightly and that's when I react.

"No! Prim, Prim!" I yell as I start to move to the stage, keeping a close eye on Katniss who is moving as well but there's no way I'm letting her reach her first. There's no way she's volunteering for her.

I push my way in between some peacekeepers that don't let me walk by but they put themselves in front of me, not letting me pass.

"I—I volunteer! I volunteer!" I choke, finally able to break through their grasp and signing with relief when Katniss is paralyzed with shock right in front of me.

I start to walk towards the stage and, when I'm next to her, push Katniss towards mom giving her a look that says 'you don't do as I say, I make a scene right here'. When I'm behind Prim I put her behind me, afraid that they might not have heard me well.

"I volunteer as tribute." I say, swallowing the knot on my throat, as I feel Prim's arms wrap around my waist.

"No! No, Heather, please! Don't go, please!" she's sobbing now and I'm having a hard time holding back my own tears.

I turn around and take her face in my hands. "Listen to me, Prim. Everything's going to be fine—just go find mom and Katniss." I sooth but she's not listening nor is she letting go of me.

That's when Gale appears out of nowhere and takes Prim by the waist, softly taking her away from me. He makes eye contact with me and in his eyes I see the exact same things I'm feeling: confusion, fear, angerand hurt; but there's also one more: sudden determination. What's he gonna do?

"There you go Heather." His voice is restrained and awkward, he's obviously trying to keep it steady and who could blame him? He just saw his best friends' little sister being chosen and his best friends almost fighting to see who would volunteer.

"Oh, well! Isn't this wonderful? District 12's first volunteer!" Effie trinket says as I finally reach her right side. "What's you name, dear?"

"Heather Everdeen." I say with a shaky dull voice and teary eye. I will not cry, I will not give The Capitol or the others tributes the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

My eyes are stuck to my family and Gale. They are right in front of me, just a few feet away; so close, yet so far away. Katniss and Gale are arguing, probably about how she should be here and me there and he's probably saying that no way in hell is she going to the hunger games. My mom has her arms tightly around Prim, who keeps crying but has her eyes fixed on me.

"Well, I bet my buttons that was your sister? And the other girl is she your sister too?" she asks again but all I want is for her to shut up.

"Yes." I nod and she seems satisfy with my answer because then she says 'now with the boys' and picks a paper from the bowl before saying loudly. "Peeta Mellark!"

Oh, no. that's not good, he's friends with Katniss and now I'm supposed to kill him. But before I can start to pray for his safety and that he'd be killed by somebody else I hear that voice I know so well I'd recognized it anywhere.

"I volunteer!" Gale yells, sending the whole square in murmurs and gasps to then fall in pure silence. Katniss is almost on the verge of tears and her eyes flicker to me and then back to Gale and so on.

My surprise is replaced by disdain and my eyes fill with tears again but this time of anger and betrayal. We had a deal, if one of us got reaped we'd go and the ones who stayed would take care of the other's family. He wasn't supposed to volunteer. Effie starts to talk about how great it is to have another volunteer but I'm not listening; instead my ears only seem to catch the loud cry that came from a corner of the square and that I recognize to be Hazelle's, the sharp intake of breath that comes from the boys section and I know comes from his brothers and the far weeping of a child I recognize to be Posy, his five year old sister. While my ears catch all that, my eyes are train in the stupid boy who walks towards the stage, not making eye contact with me, and takes his place to Effie's left.

"What about some applause for our tributes?" Effie suggests but nobody complies.

Instead they all do something that touches me to the core. First one and then two and then the entire square is pressing their three middle fingers to their mouths and lifting them to the air, holding them out to us. It's an old costume of the district, a show of respect, it means thanks, it means goodbye to someone you love.

Now I really am at the brick of tears but the mayor steps up, reads the treat of treason and then directs us to shake hands—when we do, our eyes connect for a second but when mine start to fill with tears again I look down—and then we're ushered into the justice building where we have an hour to say goodbye to our family and friends.

The firsts to come are Katniss, Primrose and my mother and I take them in a big group hug, holding to them for dear life.

"You shouldn't have done that! You should've let me go!" Prim sobs in my shoulder and I hug her tighter, tearing up.

"No, she should have let _me_ volunteer." Katniss complains in what she wanted to be a strong voice but that wavers more than my own.

"Not an option, you know that." I say, giving up on keeping the tears in and letting two slip out, I pull Katniss towards me and keep both my sisters close to me probably for the last time.

I start to cry when I feel Katniss, who never cries, start sobbing. I always knew I'd do anything for them and taking a death sentence for them was something I was prepared for but I never thought it'd come true. Letting go of them I turn to mother who has been silently watching us.

"Listen to me. You can't shut down again, no matter what you see, no matter what you _feel_—you have to fight it for them, you hear me? You won't shut down again."

"I'll try..." she whispers but I shake my head.

"No, you don't try, you simply don't shut down." I press her but my face softens when I see her eyes water. "No, don't cry." I hug her and Katniss and Prim join us.

"You can still win, you can hunt." Prim says hopefully and I blindly agree because there's no way I'm crashing her hopes. But the truth is that I won't because only one comes out and for that to happen I'd probably have to kill Gale.

"I promise you, I'll try to win." I tell her, cursing at myself for doing so.

Because now, I'll have to kill Gale fucking Hawthorne my best friend and the guy I'm most likely in love with. But screw it; because we'd be 24 out there, odds are someone else will kill him first. That thought gives me a great pain in my heart.

Then the peacekeepers are dragging them out and all I can do is yell how much I love all of them and when the door closes I can still hear prim and Katniss screaming 'no'. After them, in come Camilla, Faith and Madge; none of them say much, because honestly what's there to say? So we just hug each other and then one by one they leave.

"Here, they let you take something of your district with you. I want you to use my pin." Madge says before leaving, taking off her pure gold pin and putting it in my dress. "You're a great sister, Heather. "She says and gives me a quick hug and quickly leaves not letting me say thank you.

I sit down, not really expecting anyone else and look at the pin. It's a golden circle with a bird in the middle catching an arrow with its peck, the bird is attached to the ring by its wings. I recognize the bird, it's a mockingjay. I used to sing to them when I was little, they'd stop to listen and then they'd sing back to me; everyone says Katniss and I have the same gift our father had, that when we sing the birds stop to listen. That's how beautifully our father sang.

Suddenly the door opens and in comes Hazelle Hawthorne with a tear stained face, I immediately get up with a confused look on my face but all she does is engulf me in a tight hug.

"Dear, I'm so sorry this happened. You don't deserve it." She tells me and it takes all in me not to just stare back.

"You don't hate me…?" it comes out like a question and her eyes widen.

"I'd never hate you, dear. You're like another daughter to me." she explains with a shaky voice while she twirls my hair in her hands.

"No, but—you don't—" I mumble and shake my head, trying to fix my thoughts. "Gale… I'm—we're both going in, you should hate me—I'm supposed to kill your son!" I finally let out what's been tormenting me since that idiot volunteered.

I don't understand why he did it, though. It's not like he's friends with Peeta or related to Peeta in any way so why did he volunteer?

"I always knew you'd be the death of him. And when I saw you go up to that stage, it was no surprise to me that he'd also volunteer. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt." She tells me, and her eyes go teary for a second, but this woman is the strongest I've ever seen and I know she won't break down on me.

"Heather, promise me you won't give up, that you'll try to win because if my son can't come back—I'd love to have you back home." She says with her eyes shining with freshly new tears.

All I can do is nod and hug her until the peacekeepers come and drag her out, only this time they take me with them right to the train station. The cameras that are taking shots of Gale and me as we board the train are giving me a headache and all I want is for them to disappear; then Effie shows us to a room full of food and drinks, most of them I've never seen and others I could only dream of.

"Why don't you enjoy the food? I know the circumstances are, well, awful but you should take the most of it." Effie says looking down on us, we had decided to seat in a sofa, and then leaving to find Haymitch.

"Are you ok?" Gale asks but I ignore him, surely he knows I'm not ok.

"Listen, I understand you're probably mad or something but…"

"Yeah, that's the understatement of the century." I scoff and get up and walk to the window.

He gets up as well, suddenly angry at me. "What?"

I still don't look at him but feel him walk to where I am.

"In all the time I've known you, that was the most stupid thing you've ever done—and you've done stupid things!" I exclaim, throwing my arms in the air and turning around making my ponytail hit the side of my face. "Why did you do it anyway?"

"I—I did it—"he seems to have an inner battle and usually I'd be worried but the fury is quite effective in making me hate him.

"I—I—"I mock him. "You what, Gale?" I shout, rolling my eyes.

"I did it for you!" he finally lets out and I'm left dumbfounded for a second.

We stare at each other for a few minutes, in utter silence, doing nothing but staring. My eyes scan him from head to toe, he's strong and tall—so much taller than me, it's ridiculous.—and gives that mysterious aura that makes you want to know him better. Or at least that's what he's always made me think, since the day I met him when I was 5 I've wanted to get to know him, other people just think he's rude. But he's not, he's caring and loyal and trustful and would do anything for those he loves.

I lift my head to see his face, those beautiful gray eyes and perfect features that has girls falling at his feet all around district 12 and suddenly my view is blurry and I'm having trouble seeing because of the new tears. I don't want to lose him, I can't.

"Well, it's good to know you have already met." A voice snaps me out of my trance and I look to the door where a very drunk Haymitch is.

"Let me guess, best friends? Lovers? Or better yet, ex lovers?" he asks before vomiting and passing out. Well, what a great mentor we have.

The next morning, I get up and decide to take a shower, caressing myself with vanilla scented shampoo and almond soap and using an incredibly soft towel to dry. Then I simply put on some black pants and a green loose shirt that shows my shoulders even though it has sleeves. Oh, the fashion of the capitol! Somewhere in between the shower and weird clothes the realization of why I'm here brings on a new wave of panic. I am going to the Capitol. I am a tribute in the 74th annual Hunger Games. I am going to _die_.

When I reach the dining car, I find that Haymitch and Gale are already there eating and the minute I sit down the capitol people serve me a huge plate of food. I eat a bit of everything, ignoring Gale who has his eyes train on me and once I'm over I look up at Haymitch.

"You're supposed to give us advice." I tell Haymitch.

"Stay alive." He shrugs and then burst out laughing at his own joke; I look at Gale who has a hard look on his eyes I know to well. It means he's not ok with this, it means he's close to hating this person and so am I.

"That might be funny to you, but not to us." Gale says angrily and knocks the glass of some weird red liquid Haymitch is, was, drinking.

Haymitch stares at him and is about to hit him in the jaw but Gale stops him midway by grabbing his punch. Haymitch only shrugs and is about to grab a bottle of something that's near my reach when I take the knife that's to my right and drive it into the table between his fingers.

"You're lucky I want you to keep those." I growl tired of him already.

He looks me closely, studying me and then says:

"Can you hit anything else besides a table?"

I roll my eyes and yank the knife of the mahogany table, this time throwing it across the room to a pyramid of big strawberries and making it catch the top one and stick it to the wall.

"Ok, here's the deal, I'll stay sober enough to help you but you have to do everything I say." He waits for us to answer and I look to Gale, meeting his eyes for the first time since our little encounter last night and when he gives me the look that means 'yes' I slowly nod.

"First we'll be reaching the capitol in a few minutes and you'll let the stylist do whatever they want to you—no buts, no resisting." He leaves the dinning car with the bottle under his arm and the air turns awkward.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you—I'm just… worried." I whisper, lying at the end. I'm not worried, I'm just heartbroken but I can't tell him that.

He doesn't answer me but out of nowhere I find myself in his arms and I can't help but hug back eagerly. I don't understand why he's saying sweet nothing in my ears until my body is shaking with sobs, uncontrolled sobs. Everything that's happen in the last two days is catching up to me; saying goodbye to my family, knowing I'll never see them again, volunteering for Prim, Gale volunteering, knowing I'm going to die.

It's too much and the only thing I'm thinking is _I can't believe I lost it, I can't believe I just broke like Haymitch's glass._ But, even though I want to keep crying and hold to him for dear life, I let go because this is the first time in a long time he's seen me like this and I must be freaking him out.

"I shouldn't have told you like that." He tells me, wiping a single tear that escapes my eyes again with his thumb and I nod.

I'm about to open my mouth to say it's fine when darkness engulfs us and I realize we must be in the tunnel that enters the capitol. My suspicions are confirmed when the breath-taking awe-like city appears before us.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter 3:_**

When we reached the capitol they separated us and took us to our prep team which is supposed to make us decent enough for our stylist. Octavia, Venia and Flavius scrubbed me down with some weird soap and a metallic sponge, washed my hair, waxed almost every part of my body—Octavia even complained about how hairy I was and then Venia said something among the lines of 'you almost look human now!'—, turned my fingernails into uniform forms and stripped me naked. Yes, the first thing I discovered here is that there is no such thing known as intimacy. I've been naked for the last 5 hours and even now as I wait for my stylist, I'm completely naked. not a layer of clothing in my body.

A young man who looks almost normal with only a layer of gold eyeliner as proof that he's from the Capitol enters the room and walks towards me. He's even dressed in something as normal as a black shirt and black trousers.

"Hello, Heather. I'm Cinna—you're stylist." He says and I blink twice when I hear his accent is nothing like the Capitol's. If anything it is the most normal accent, apart from my own, I've heard all day.

"I'll just take a second ok?" he tells me as he starts to observe my, mind you, naked body. He doesn't touch me once, just studies me with his eyes and I start to feel self conscious.

"You're a very pretty girl, Heather." He tells me once he's done and hands me a rope I immediately put on.

"Hello and thanks." I smile sweetly at him. "You're new. I haven't seen you before." I state and then I'm afraid it might have come out as rude but Cinna is not affected by this and just smiles at me.

"Yes, I am new and I asked to style 12." he says and once again my eyes widen and then I smile in appreciation. It's no secret no stylist wants twelve, the least famous district. I'm already starting to like Cinna.

He takes me to another room that once again has enough food for us to feed both mine and Gale's family for two weeks and we'd even have enough to trade at the Hob. I don't understand how these people can be so despicable and selfish as to have all of this food simply laying there not giving a crap if the districts are dying or not. I wonder what Gale's reaction is going to be.

"So, Heather, my partner Portia, who is Gale's stylist, and I thought we should give you a complementary costume and we've decided to make you unforgettable." He explains to me.

The tributes are supposed to use a costume that represent their district in the opening ceremony and usually district 12 is always boringly dressed in coal's miners costumes, I have no problem with that, but one year they wore nothing but coal dust. _That_ I have a problem with.

"I'm going to be naked, aren't I?" I say, covering my face with my hands trying to conceal my blush at the mere idea of seeing Gale _naked._

"Oh, no, I promise you, you won't. This year, instead of focusing in the mining—we'll focus on the coal…" he laughs at me and gently removes my hands from my face.

"And what do we do with coal, Heather?" he asks me when he makes sure he's got my full attention.

"Burn it." I reply without thinking. At school they mostly and primarily teach us about anything related to coal, so answering what we use coal for it's not exactly something difficult to come up with.

"We burn it, yes." He pauses and searches my face. "Tell me something, Heather, are you scared of fire?"

I just stare at him for a minute before it dawns on me what he's telling me. He can't really mean they're going to set us on fire… can he? Either way, I feel a smirk start to form in my lips because as malignant as this sounds I happen to love fire. Cinna seems to understand my smirk because he gives me one of his warm smiles in return.

About 2 or 3 hours later, I'm dressed in what will be the most sensational or the deadliest costume in the entire ceremony: a black unitard that goes from my neck to my ankles with leather boots that reach my knees and a cape with streams of orange, yellow and red. My hair is in a hazardous up-do and my make up is nothing but a bit of lighting here and there that gives an almost natural look.

"It's not real fire; just a synthetic fire Portia and I came up with." He reassures me again as we wait for Gale to arrive with Portia.

"I just want everyone to remember you." Cinna says with a dreamy expression. "Heather, the girl who was on fire."

I smile at the idea but it's a little forced, I can't help but see how Cinna's demeanor resembles that of a mad man. I'm relieved to see Gale walk to where we are, dressed in the exact same suit as me, with who I assume is Portia and his prep team talking eagerly about how we're going to steal the show.

I'm a little bit shocked because one thing is to see Gale everyday with his normal clothes and dirty face because of the woods and a complete different thing is looking at him, perfectly shaved with his hair combed and without a stain in his hands or face. And if that wasn't enough, imagine all that plus a fitting outfit. I think I'll die _before_ I even _enter_ the arena.

I find myself silently thanking Cinna's magic hands when I see Gale can't seem to take his eyes away from me and even when he does, his eyes keep drifting back to me. _Well, take that Katniss._ I think and instantly frown because it's not her fault and I should never think this way, I even feel bad about looking good. They help us in our chariot and while they're distracted by other things, I lean in and whisper to Gale:

"Don't you think it's crazily fantastic? The costume, I mean."

He's incredibly tense and I fight back the laugh that's at the back of my throat because I know one thing. If Gale's afraid of anything, that's fire. He looks at me like I am mad and shoots back:

"I know we promised Haymitch we'd do anything they said but this is too much.—where is that old man, anyway?" he's angry but not about what he makes everyone believe but because he knows I'm laughing at him in my head.

"it's probably not advisable to have him around an open flame with all that alcohol in him." I say, trying to lift the mood.

Gale blinks down at me for a second before laughing and I happily join him. Portia and Cinna light up our costumes right before we go and Cinna says to me 'remember, smile and heads high. They'll love you.' and before I know it we're rolling.

I half expected the fire to burn but it only gives me a tickling sensation and I feel Gale visibly relax; when we enter the city I'm struck with the enormity of the crowd and my brain thinks this is a good moment to give me sudden stage fright. One I did not know I possessed.

"smile." Gale whispers in my ear and grabs my hand, entwining our fingers. I give his hand a squeeze and smile with my head held high, trying to ignore the way my heart beats quickly at his touch.

The crowd's first reaction is alarm but then it turns into joy and cheers and every head is turned our way. They're actually cheering things like 'district 12' and 'Gale! Heather!' they're shouting our names and the fact that they actually bothered to learn them makes me want to roll my eyes. I do, and my eyes catch the screen and I'm paralyzed about how stunning we look. We leave a trail of fire and the twilight makes us look even better, my prep team is definitely right because the little amount of make up they applied plus the fire not only make me look gorgeous, they make me look defiant and victorious like I'm not scare of them.

I start to wave to the crowd and even blow a few kisses here and there, clutching Gale's hand harder because this is not me at all but I keep doing it. I try to catch everyone's eyes as they yell 'Heather! Heather!' and blow them personal kisses and I even grab a blood red rose they throw my way. When we make it to the City Circle, I realize Gale might not be feeling his hand but I don't really care.

The attention is driven to the front stage where president Snow is giving his welcoming speech and even though the cameras are supposed to do an up close in all the district I can see we're having more than our fair share of air time. Then it's over and we're driven to the back where Cinna, Portia, Effie and Haymitch are waiting for us.

"Oh, Heather! You looked absolutely stunning out there!" Effie says as she approaches me, deliberately avoiding Gale.

Haymitch, however, stares down suspiciously at my arm level and then back up to us. I frown not understanding why he acts like this and look down to find out that I still have my fingers linked through Gale's and quickly let go. He doesn't say anything this time and for that I'm grateful, I don't think I'll be able to hide the blush that's threatening to show much longer. We are directed to the tower of the training center where we'll live until the real Games begin and, because we're from 12 and each district lives in the floor that has the number of their district, we get the penthouse. Haymitch and Effie actually stay with us until we enter the arena. Apparently Effie's duties include talking us up to the sponsors.

"I've been talking about you with everyone the entire day." She gushes. "Of course, I've been mysterious because I don't know your strategy—but I've focused on how Heather sacrificed for her sister and how you've both fought to overcome the barbarism of your district." She says, her eyes squint a bit.

Barbarism? If only she knew. I don't think barbarism begins to cover it, how we have to fight to survive—sometimes, literally—how Gale, Katniss and I literally risk our lives going to the woods every morning. It could get us a bullet through our heads but at least our families are fed. Not fed very well but they're definitely better fed than most families from the Seam. How many times have I seen a desperate family bring a sicken child to my mother, only for her to tell them that what the kid needs is something they can't give him? That what the kid need is food, one of the things the family can't afford? Too many times. I ready myself to a snappy remark about how _barbarous_ my district indeed _is _when I remind myself that is not entirely her fault. They're spoiled and costumed to have everything they want within a mile—maybe even more—with just the push of a button. Still my anger doesn't diminish because this is being said by the woman preparing us for slaughter so if anything, the barbaric ones are them and the barbaric place is _here_, not district 12.

Effie immediately takes me to my room which is bigger than my entire house back home and I take the time to undress, wash again and find something of the gigantic closet that matches my likes, I decide on a pretty knee-high black dress. It's funny how I thought just two mornings ago how people should go to the reaping in black clothes, it is someone's funeral after all and how I never imagine it'd be mine. So I put on the black lacy dress, might as well start to mourn myself. Then she's calling me for dinner and I rush out of the room because I'm starving.

I'm incredibly relieved to see Portia and Cinna are also invited for dinner because that way I won't have to face Haymitch and Effie alone. Haymitch joins us right before dinner starts and I'm a little annoyed when he starts drinking but it goes away pretty fast because he's also eating and maybe, just maybe, he's actually trying to help.

Then a read headed girl is serving me dessert and when I'm about to tell her I don't want any, the words get caught up in my throat because I know this girl. I don't know where from but I'm certain of it.

"Do I know you?" I blurt out and the girl's eyes widen. "Yes, I know you!"

The air in the table immediately tenses and Effie exclaims. "How could you ever know an avox? Don't be silly, Heather!"

I take my eyes away from the girl I'm sure I know from somewhere and glare at Effie.

"What's an avox?" I ask feeling stupid.

"A traitor." Haymitch simply says and it's enough to shut me up.

I now know where I know her from, a few years ago Gale, Katniss and I had been in our relax place when a girl and a little boy came running from behind the trees begging for help. None of us moved and then a hovercraft came out of nowhere and killed the little boy and took her in some sort of net. That was the last I saw of the girl until today. My eyes drift to Gale who has his eyes on me and I instantly know I'm right, that this is the girl we didn't help and now she's here with her tongue cut out serving _us_ dessert while we prepare for the hunger games. She must think payback is really sweet in the moment.

"Oh, in that case I can't possibly know you—it's just that you—you remind me of someone…" I stutter with my words for a second, looking for an excuse and sigh when I realize I have nothing.

"Camilla Brown; She reminds me of her, same red hair and dark eyes." Gale comes to my aid and I send him a grateful smile.

"Yeah, of course, she reminds me of Camilla." I lie because there's no way in hell this avox girl reminds me of my dear friend Camilla, if anything she looks more like Faith, but then everyone in the table relaxes and we're back to the normal conversation.

After dinner, we watch the opening ceremony again in T.V. and everyone lets out an 'ah!' when we come out as beautiful as ever. Then Haymitch says something about how holding hands is a form of rebellion because the other tributes act like the games already begun while we go around being friends with each other.

"Tomorrow morning, I'll tell you exactly how I want you two to play the training sessions—now go to sleep." Haymitch orders us and that's exactly what we do.

In the morning, I shower and get dressed in the clothes that were left in my bed; I go to the living room and serve myself some scrambled eggs, some bacon and toast and wait for Gale and Haymitch to join me. After a few minutes they appear, bid me good morning and start to eat; I'm annoyed at the fact that Gale is wearing the exact same thing I am, I guess Cinna is taking this twin thing farther than I thought.

"So training, first things first I need to know if you want me to coach you separately." Haymitch tells us once he's done drinking from a flask he got out of his suit.

"Why would we want to be coach separately?" I frown not seeing the point.

"Let's say you have a secret skill you don't want the other to know." He says and I steal a glance at Gale who is too busy with his plate of food to notice.

"I know everything about him. " I shrug and Gale nods.

Years and years of hunting together means there aren't any secret skills we don't know about so why should we coach separately?

"Yeah, coach us together." He says leaving his plate of food behind and looking up at us.

"Ok, what are you good at?" Haymitch asks us. "I know your handy with a knife, sweetheart." He tells me and the way he says sweetheart makes me angry, he says it so full of sarcasm it makes me feel low.

"I can hunt with a bow and arrows." I explain and he nods.

"Are you good?"

I ponder the question for a second, am I good? I'm better than Katniss—she sometimes misses— and have better aim and timing than Gale, he prefers the snares, but that's because I've more practice. I've been using a bow an arrow since I was 7, yet I'm not as good as my father.

"I'm… all right, I guess." I shrug.

"She's more than all right, she's excellent. Shoots them straight through the eye, can even take down a deer. They're her favorite prey." Gale suddenly cuts in and I look at him.

"What exactly are you doing?" I demand.

"What are _you_ doing? You should tell him what you can do, it's no time to be modest, Heather!" he snaps and I look down.

I need no help with Haymitch, and I definitely don't need him talking me up. I can take care of myself.

"Gale is fast and quiet, nobody hears him until he's right beside them." I say determine that two can play a game.

"Not as fast as you and you always seem to hear me no matter how far I am so I'm not sure about that part."

If only he knew that's because I'm practically trained to hear him a mile away.

"He can shoot as well, and his snares are incredibly good."

"I don't think I can kill someone with a snare." He snaps, already loosing his temper but I continue.

"He's also very strong; he's never lost a fight." I hope that's enough for Haymitch because it's all I've got.

"It doesn't matter, what matters is that you're going home, I'm not."

"Oh, you're coming home." I say, waving a hand dismissively.

"No, you are and that's final." He's mad and I realize he actually believes he's not going back.

_If my son can't come back I'd like to have you back home._ Hazelle's words suddenly come to my mind and I wonder if she said that because he actually told her there was no coming back, that this was it for him. Has he already given up?

"I can't survive on my own, someone always helps me." I say softening and all my anger forgotten.

He knows I mean him, I know I mean him and I'm sure even Haymitch knows I mean him, however he just shrugs and says:

"You'll have sponsor lining up, they'll help you."

"I'm not so sure… I'm not a very likeable person."

Gale apparently is tired of arguing with me because he turns to face Haymitch who has been looking all this with an amused look on his face.

"She doesn't know the effect she has on people."

Effect I have in people? What the hell is that supposed to mean? What effect do I have? Do I come out as needy and pitying? Is that why people buy from me? No, my game is first class and I'm a tough trader. If they buy for me is because of what I can offer not because they pity me.

"Well, well, well. That was interesting." Haymitch muses. "There's no guarantee there'll be a bow, Heather, so make sure to grab a knife and practice with it. She's right Gale, strength is a very good thing and snares can guarantee you food. Besides, just because you're not as good at archery as she is that doesn't mean it won't help you."

We just nod at him and see him expectantly until he continues. "Don't show what you can do until the private sessions, while training simply learn something you don't know—and I want you to be by the other's side every minute, every minute! Are we clear?"

I frown but nod and then leave to my room, making sure they both can hear the door slam. I'm still angry at Gale and his 'she doesn't know the effect she has on people' what the hell does that mean? He doesn't mean people pity me because he knows that's not how it is. Does he mean I'm appealing in some way? I must be, people always tell me I'm pretty—beautiful even—and boys do follow me around but how could that help me in the arena? It's not like Cato or Clove—the tributes from district 2—won't kill me because I'm pretty, if anything Clove will kill me _because _I'm prettier than her. I decide he simply said that because he had nothing else to say and patiently wait for the clock to strike 10. When it does I get out of my room and walk to the elevator where Effie and Gale are already waiting for me.

The training rooms are below ground level and that makes me feel uneasy because what if something happens and we end up like my dad? But then I remember this is the capitol and the possibilities of that happening are 1 to none. When we enter the training room, I look around and study the other tributes. My heart sinks at once, at least half of this people are twice my size and almost all the girls are bigger than me. I also notice how Gale and I are the only one dressed the same. Then head trainer, Atala, starts to tell us how there'll be experts in each station that will help us and that we can go around through the stations as we'd like. She also tells us fighting with other tributes is strictly forbidden. When Atala releases us, the careers immediately move to the deadliest weapons and I'm scared about the brutality they radiate.

"Do you want to start with knots?" Gale asks me, snapping me out of the careers.

I look at him and then at the knotting station and suppose his right. "sure." I shrug and move to the station.

The trainer is happy to have students and immediately starts to teach us some basic knots, when he sees Gale is great with snares and that I have some knowledge about them he shows us how to do a snare that can catch a human by his feet and leave him dangling. Then we move on to another station on camouflage but I don't really pay attention and I don't know if Gale does either.

Instead I'm focused in the careers and how that district 2 boy just threw a spear into a dummy's heart from 15 yards away. He's definitely on my 'avoid' list and so is Clove. Glimmer doesn't worry me much, she's spent the entire day in archery, her weapon of preference of course, but she's not that good when it comes to far shoots. Marvel is good with swords and blades. There's also a red headed girl—whose name I cannot remember but her face reminds me of a fox—who doesn't do much but look at us, all of us; I have a bad feeling about the way she inspects us, like she's drinking us in, our weaknesses and strengths, she'd definitely in the 'avoid' list as well. Rue, the little girl form district 11, reminds me strongly of Prim even though they're complete opposites. She's dark-skinned, Prim is pale; she has brown eyes and Prim's blue eyes but they're the same age and for a minute I imagine poor little Prim here, with the careers looking down at her like she's meal and feel incredibly protective of little Rue. Thresh, the boy tribute from 11, is the biggest of the entire group he's full of muscle and I think even some of the careers are a bit tad afraid of them. Not Cato and Clove, though. Those two aren't scared of anything.

In the next three days, we go around station through station never really showing our real skills and I dedicate this time majorly to study Cato and Clove. At first I didn't think they had any weaknesses, they're good with almost every weapon but then I realize they never go to the survival skills station; never learn how to find food or what berries are poisonous. Why should they? The careers usually have all of the supplies that the game makers put at the cornucopia. And there's something else I missed at first but then see quite quickly because it's exactly the same way I behave, Clove's eyes are always train on Cato and she's always beside him, looking for excuses to touch him, to laugh with him at the others tributes, to talk to him or just be in silence; just like I do with Gale. Cato's the same, he's less obvious but the infatuation is definitely there. You can see it in the way he always looks out for Clove and if some other tribute takes her place of does something as little as running into her, he flips out at them until she tells him to relax, he's always looking out for her and that's when I finally get it. Cato and Clove's weakness is each other.

On the third day, they call us separately to our private sessions; First the boy and then the girl tribute, one by one starting with district 1 and ending with us.

"I'm nervous." I tell Gale as the district 5 boy tribute is called.

"Don't be, you're great." He shrugs and takes my hand comfortingly.

I shake my head and roll my eyes. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

Now is his time to roll his eyes. "All right, Heather, whatever makes you happy."

Then there's silence, only the buzzing of the other tributes talking as background, until the district 7 girl is called and I can't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry. Not just for snapping at you now but for being a bitch over the fact that you helped me with Haymitch and for not really being a good friend in the last 3 days…" I blurt out, making him look at me surprised.

I'm not usually the one who apologizes, neither is he, in our friendship when we fight we usually just wait a few hours—or days, depending—for the other to cool down and then act like nothing's happened.

"Because I shouldn't act like this, you did volunteer for me. Why? It's a mystery but you did and I should appreciate that." I continue and he just looks at me.

"It's fine, I understand you're scared and this is you putting a five feet high wall between you and the world." He says after a long time, so long that both tributes from 8 have already go and it takes me a while to realize he's referring to what I said. "And I volunteered because I want you to live."

I don't say anything, instead I just rest my head on his shoulder something I used to do back at home almost all the time until I started to suspect about him and Katniss. Before I realize it, they're calling Rue and we're left alone. Then he's being called and I'm about to be left alone with me and my nerves.

"Good luck, Gale. And remember, if you're going to use a bow and arrows—don't over think it, just trust your instincts it'll come naturally." I remind him before he leaves the room.

"Thanks Heather and you… shoot straight." He pauses for a minute and then laughs. "As if you didn't know that already." He finishes and I can't help but smile.

Then he's gone and I have to wait another 15 minutes until they summon me, I rise from my seat and walk to the room.

"Heather Everdeen." I announce to the game makers who just look at me with bored faces.

The room is full of the same weapons it's had for the last three days but I ignore it and walk straight to the bow. When I position the arrow I realize the string it's a littler tighter than the one I use at home and I hadn't practiced with this one before. That's not good. Either way I walk to the middle of the room and pull back on the bow, the arrow misses the dummy by inches but that's enough to make the few game makers who were indeed paying attention laugh and ignore me completely. I've never in my life felt more humiliated but I ignore the feeling all together and aim again, this time at the dummy's head right between the eyes. This time I don't miss and this gives me confidence, so I decide to take my own advice and not over think this. I shoot at another dummy this time on the heart and another in the stomach; I even afford to shoot straight to where the eye is supposed to be. Then I shoot to the light bulb above me, making sparks fly all around the training room. Satisfy with my job I turn to look to the game makers and anger rises inside me when I see than only a handful of them are watching, the rest are too preoccupied with a big pig they just served.

Before I know what I'm doing, I aim towards the apple at the pig's mouth and send the arrow flying. It hits the apple and sends it to the wall where it stays pinned, the game makers are completely startled one even falls in the bowl of punch and then Seneca Crane turns around to face me and meets my sparkling with anger and want for revenge blue eyes.

"Thanks for your consideration." I say bitterly then do a mocking bow and leave the room in a rush without being dismissed.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 4:_**

The moment I leave the elevator I run straight to my room and slam the door shut, ignoring Effie's 'how did you do?' and Gale's worried look, and simply fall in my bed and allow the tears to come. I've definitely screwed up; if I ever stood a chance I ruined it tonight. They probably think I was trying to kill Seneca Crane but I wasn't! If I had wanted to, he'd be dead I can assure that! Now I'm going to die, not that I wasn't going to before, and I'll break Prim's promise.

Effie and Haymitch are knocking on my door but I just yelled at them to go away and eventually they do, then Gale comes—obviously sent by Haymitch and Effie because he knows I don't talk in this state—and asks me to let him in.

"I said leave me alone!" I shout and then continue sobbing. He doesn't come again.

After a few minutes my sobs turn into hiccups and I start to think rationally. What can they really do to me? I'm already here and they still need a girl tribute from 12. They'll just make sure not to put a bow in the arena and first they'll give me a score so low nobody will sponsor me. I already see it 'and for the first time in the history of the hunger games, Heather Everdeen with a score of 0.' It takes me an hour to calm down and accept my definite death and get up from bed, open the door, and walk to the living room. The conversation stops the minute I put foot on the living room and all heads are turned to me, I don't say anything and just move to sit next to Gale who cautiously puts an arm around my shoulders, he does it in the same cautious way he approaches a scared animal and I realize he's worried I might flip out and rip everyone's heads off or have another meltdown.

"How bad did you do?" Haymitch asks harshly and I glare at him. Whatever happened to gentleness?

"Good, I shoot with the bow, set some snares and threw some knifes. Most of them weren't paying attention, though." Gale says first, even though he knows the question is completely directed to me.

I unconsciously notice the anger in his tone; he is not okay with the fact that they didn't pay attention to us when that's their work. Then all the attention is directed to me and I let out a breath and start to speak, might as well get it over with.

"I… I shot an arrow at the game makers." I clear my throat.

Those simple 8 words send the whole place in chaos, confirming my suspicious about how bad what I did was. After a few minutes, everyone's calm enough so that someone can talk without being tuned out by the noise.

"You did what?" Effie exclaims in horror.

"I shot an arrow at them—well, not at them but at their direction. They weren't paying attention! They were more interested in a pig than in me and that angered me so I shot an apple out of the mouth of their stupid pig and pinned it to the wall." I tell them, the anger returning.

"What did they said?" Cinna, who is sitting next to Effie, asks carefully.

"Nothing… well, I don't think. I left before they'd say anything." I frown.

"You weren't dismissed!" Effie gasps like she has seen a murder right before her eyes.

I look at Haymitch who is also looking at me and meet his eyes. "What do you think they'll do to me?"

"Nothing much, probably give you a living hell out in the arena." Haymitch shrugs and I sigh. Well, I already knew that.

"It's not like they haven't promised that already." Gale says, trying to comfort me and I smile at him.

"I guess I broke my promise to Prim and Katniss." I murmur, finally saying what's actually been in my mind for so long.

No one knows how to answer to this and the only thing I receive is a half hug from Gale who has an arm around me already and some sympathetic glances around the room.

"What were their faces like?" Haymitch asks me and I realize they've done the unthinkable: they have cheered me up. A little bit but still they have.

"They were terrified, surprised…" my mouth curves upwards in a smirk. "One of them fell in the punch bowl." I finish and everyone bursts out laughing, even Effie is letting out a few giggles.

Then it's time to watch the scores being announced on television, the careers of course don't get anything lower that 9, Rue gets a 7 and I'm surprised because that's a relatively good score. Then it's Gale's turn and I'm biting my lips in anticipation.

"Gale Hawthorne from district 12 with a score of…" Caesar Flickerman starts to say as Gale's picture appears beside him and then the number 10 flashes under his picture. "…ten!" Caesar exclaims, clearly surprised.

I gasp and smile broadly, trying hard not to yell at Gale a 'I told you so!' and laughing when everyone stands up and congratulates him. But then the air turns tense when my picture appears. I look strong and determine and almost fear-inducing mysterious and I find ironic the fact that that's not how I feel at all.

"And last but not least, Heather Everdeen with a score of…" he pauses and I close my eyes preparing for that 0 that's sure to come.

"Eleven!" my eyes fly open and I stay dumbly watching the screen.

There must be a mistake because that's impossible. Not even the careers got an eleven; the number eleven is an almost perfect score no one gets it ever. And then I react because is either that or die under the pressure of the massive hugs I'm receiving form everyone and I'm laughing because I can't believe this.

"Why did they give me such a high score?" I ask confused.

"They probably liked your temper, sweetheart." Haymitch says while smiling at me and for a moment I didn't mind the nickname and smiled back.

"Who doesn't like a feisty girl?" Gale says, a hand on the small of my back. "I told you you'd do great."

"Yes, you did!" I say excitedly and hug him.

I don't know what got into me, because really I haven't been this happy in a long time but I guess that since I'm going to die I might as well laugh for a little while. Then Effie tells us to go to our rooms so they can talk and we do as we're told and for the first time since I came here, I don't slam my door but instead close it carefully. I lay in my bed with a small smile on my face but then I start to think and it fades away. What if they gave me the highest score so that the others might want to kill me first? Sure if you see a girl with a score way higher than yours, you'll see her as a threat. I know I would. And if they see me as a threat, they'll probably want to kill me in the bloodbath, meaning the first 5 minutes of the games. I won't make it through the first two days and in that way I'd still be breaking my promise to my sisters. A new wave of fear invades me when I realize not only will the careers make me their first target but they'll probably give me a slow painful death while they make fun of me.

I get up the bed and leave the room in a rush. I can't go to the living room because the adults are there so instead I star to walk down the hall to the rest of the floor I haven't seen. I walk through the corridor where the rooms are and realize there's a door I have never gone through. Curiosity gets the best of me and I enter the room—that has little to none light—to find nothing but a big black piano. That's weird, why would they put a piano here? Maybe it's in case some tribute knows how to play. Now in the district 1 and 2 floors—and maybe in 4, too—that's fine, but in 12? Almost no one knows how to play; only a few get that privilege. I walk to it and sit down on the bench, my fingers tracing the shiny keys and my eyes closed.

My father loved music, he taught me to sing, to appreciate every note and he even taught me to play. We used to have an old piano back home, it was really old and the only thing my father could really call his own but around the time I was 7 we had to sell it because things were getting rough. It wasn't for much, but money is money and we needed it.

Everybody believed I had stopped playing then but I didn't. Camilla has a beautiful piano in her house but unfortunately she doesn't play so every time I went to her house, she'd beg me to play and I'd do it until we wanted to do something else or I got tired. That's why my fingers start to move on their own and suddenly I'm not in the top of the training center in the capitol, preparing for slaughter and looking around the floor because fear consumes me. No, instead I'm back home hanging out with Camilla and playing in her beautiful piano because we're both bored. Before I know what I'm doing or have time to think that people could actually hear me, the words are leaving my mouth and I'm singing.

_All this time I was wasting_

_Hoping you would come around_

_I've been giving out chances every time_

_And all you do is let me down  
And it's taking me this long_

_Baby but I figured you out_

_And you're thinking we'll be fine again_

_But not this time around  
You don't have to call anymore_

_I won't pick up the phone_

_This is the last straw_

_Don't wanna hurt anymore  
And you can say that you're sorry_

_But I don't believe you baby_

_Like I did before You're not sorry, no, no, no, no  
Looking so innocent_

_I might believe you if I didn't know_

_Could've loved you all my life_

_If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold  
And you got your share of secrets_

_And I'm tired of being last to know_

_And now you're asking me to listen_

_Cause it's worked each time before  
But you don't have to call anymore_

_I won't pick up the phone_

_This is the last straw_

_Don't wanna hurt anymore  
And you can tell me that you're sorry_

_But I don't believe you baby_

_Like I did before You're not sorry, no, no, oh_

_You're not sorry, no, no, oh  
You had me falling for you honey_

_And it never would've gone away, no_

_You used to shine so bright_

_But I watched all of it fade  
So you don't have to call anymore_

_I won't pick up the phone_

_This is the last straw_

_There's nothing left to beg for  
And you can tell me that you're sorry_

_But I don't believe you baby_

_Like I did before You're not sorry, no, no, oh_

_You're not sorry, no, no, oh No, oh, no, oh, no _

I jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder and relax when I see it's only Gale, but then tense again because he's not supposed to know I play.

"I didn't know you played." He tells me and in that moment I wonder if he can read my mind. I make room for him to sit next to me and he does.

"You weren't supposed to." I mutter and look down at my fingers that still are on the keys and slowly put them in my lap. "Nobody's supposed to."

"Of course." He says bitterly and I sigh.

"Gale…" I start but he cuts me off.

"Does Katniss know?" I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"She knows I played when I was little, she doesn't know I keep doing it." I nod, looking up to him and meeting his stone-like expression.

"But she still knows… why didn't you tell me?"

I can't possibly tell him why, can I? He'll hate me or look down at me or something. But, none the less, I open my mouth because I'll die and I might as well get the truth out.

"Because I was afraid you'd judge me. you always go around saying how the town people get to do stuff we can't because they have more money and they don't give a shit about the rest and I couldn't help but think how _playing the piano_ is such a town girl thing and well…" I fumble with the hem of my shirt and look everywhere but at him.

"Heather… I'll never judge _you._ Because well, it's you." he says and frowns a bit at the end, making me smile.

"That explains a lot." I scoff and he laughs out loud.

I blink at him for a second, because this is the first time I've seen him laugh in such a long time and the sound's so beautiful that I can't help but start laughing with him.

"We haven't laugh in a long time. I just wished we weren't laughing _here_." He suddenly says and I stop laughing all together, a serious expression taking over my features.

"We're… going to be fine." I lie and take his hand in mine.

"Yeah… for a while." He tells me and puts a strand of my hair behind my ear, we stay quiet for a second just looking each other in the eye until…

"Heather! That was wonderful, dear." Effie's voice snaps me out of the trance I was at the same time a red alarm goes off in my head because this isn't us.

He never touches me more that necessary. Hugs me, yes; nudges me with his elbow, yes; lets me rest my head in his shoulder, yes and sometimes if I'm sad, he takes my hand. But sit so close to me there's no space between us, take my hand, look me in the eyes _and_ fix my hair behind my ear? That's a definite no in our friendship.

"Yeah, sweetheart, why didn't you say you could do that?" Haymitch says appearing out of nowhere and looking us suspiciously, making me wonder how long were they there for.

"Thanks and why would I? I can't kill someone by playing the piano." I shrug and get up, letting go of Gale's hand in the process and walking out of the room.

"It's late and I'm going to sleep." I inform them as I walk out only to be stopped by Effie.

"Tomorrow, I'll prepare you for the interview. Be on time." She calls after me and I just yell a yes her way.

That night I have a restless sleep only to end up completely awake at dawn, thinking how it's Sunday and Katniss is probably already in the woods being free. I get up and go straight to the shower, choosing the vanilla shampoo and the almond soap again, and then dressing in a simple white shirt and black trousers. When I go to the dining room for breakfast, I find Haymitch, Effie and Gale talking in hushed voices but I ignore them and focus on eating until I realize they're silently looking at me.

"So you said you're coaching us in interviews." I tell Haymitch and stop eating.

"Yeah, but there will be a slight change in our approach." He clears his throat and looks at me.

"What?" I ask confused. I don't even know what our original approach is, being mysterious? Or just looking like some mediocre team?

"Well—Gale here…" he hesitates. "Has asked to be coach separately."

That's all it takes for me to see red and to feel a great wave of betrayal. Whatever happened to 'I know everything about him' and 'sure, let's coach together'? However, instead of screaming and showing my true emotions I do what I do best: I clean my face of any emotion except for boredom and just look at everyone in the table.

"Good. When do I start, then?" I say without blinking and I can see they actually buy it. Effie's eyes widen a bit, probably surprised about how well I took this and then she tells me she'll start with me.

For 4 whole hours, the only thing I do is walk around my room in high heels—which are incredibly uncomfortable—and Effie teaches me how to seat, smile, wave, talk, look at people, how to make eye contact, how to seat again, how to twirl in heels, how to walk in heels and all that stuff that's necessary for the interview.

"Well, you're not that bad and this is really the best I can do." She finally says, putting her hands together and looking at me. "I think you're ready for Haymitch." I take this as my cue to leave.

In the living room I find only Haymitch so I sit down in front of him and he studies me for a while, moving his head to one side thinking and then furrowing his eyebrows.

"What?" I snap defensively.

"I'm trying to figure out what to do with you. Should you come out as sweet? Naïve? Fierce? Scary or maybe determined? Right now you're a star because you volunteered for your sister and Cinna's work has make you look great, you're the best score but no one knows anything about you. I have to find a way to get you sponsors." He explains to me and the frown on my face slowly disappears.

"What's Gale's angle?" I ask.

"Mysterious, he's got this thing about him that makes you want to know more. He'll use that.—but you; every time you open your mouth you're just hostile or angry." He tells me and the frown in my face comes back.

"That is not true!" I gasp but he just rolls his eyes at me.

"Yeah? I haven't seen the cheery girl of the chariot before or since."

"That's because I don't like you." It slips out of my lips before I can help it.

"Well, then imagine you do! Let's get this over with." He tells me and starts to ask me questions.

Before we even start I know this won't work, I dislike Haymitch too much and I also hate the capitol people with a burning passion. So every time he asks me something I just answer it vaguely, not really giving away much information because why should this people know anything about me?

"Ok, that's enough. We've been here for ten minutes and I don't know anything about you, your family, friends, likes. Nothing." Haymitch protests. "They want to know you, Heather." He adds and I fold my arms across my chest.

"That's the thing; I don't want them to know me!" I say. "Why should they know about the thing's I care about? They're no one. They don't _own_ me."

"Well, then lie. Because like this you have as much charm as a dead slug." His words send a pang of hurt through me and I unconsciously flinch.

I'm not like this, I'm nice to people—sometimes—and they like me. Sure, I don't go around smiling like crazy but I do smile more times than Katniss and people always say that out of the three I'm one of the friendlier, the friendliest and kindest being Prim.

I think even Haymitch notices he was a little bit too rude because he adds:

"Try to be humble, gush about how you can't believe a little girl from district 12 did so well in training and how pretty the city is. Talk about Cinna, how you wish your friends could see the amount of clothes you have now."

So he wants me to act like a spoiled shallow little brat? Well, I won't be doing that I'll just figure out what to do when the interview comes. I am better at planning according to how things go so I'll see what I can come up with. I just nod at Haymitch and get up, telling him how Cinna wants to meet me in ten minutes.

While the prep team work on me I spend the entire time wishing Cinna's dress for me is so wonderful no one will care about what I say, they'll just be stunned by the dress. When Cinna comes in, I'm trembling because it means there's only about an hour left before the interview and I am not ready.

"Close your eyes." He orders and I do as he says.

I feel him slip the dress on me and I feel its silken inside as it rest against my body, making me wonder what it must look like. Then they're helping me put on my heels and I'm clutching what I know is Octavia's hands—because of their weird texture—so I won't fall over.

"Can I open my eyes now?" I ask Cinna with a small smile in my face, eager to see his new masterpiece.

"Yes, you can." He tells me and my eyes fly open.

I'm breathless against the view because this beautiful girl is not me. It can't be me, but it is and I'm totally surprised. My prep team covered my body in golden dust, my make up consists of dark defined eyes with a lot of black mascara that assents my blue eyes, full red lips, long eyelashes that throw off bits of light every time I blink and the dress, oh, the dress! It is completely covered in reflective gems of different colors. There are red gems and yellow and white ones and even one and another blue one, every time I move it's like I'm burning but at the same time I'm shining.

"Cinna… thank you so much." I breathe.

He smiles and makes me walk around the room—after he dismisses the prep team—so I can get used to the heels. Then he just looks at me with an expectant look on his face and I literally tell him everything.

"Oh, Cinna, I'm awful. Haymitch called me a dead slug which I find insulting but it's just that I can't do it, I can't pretend to be someone I'm not." I say and cover my face with my hands before remembering my make up and how I don't want to ruin it because my prep team put a lot of effort in it.

"Be yourself." Cinna tells me like it's the most obvious thing to do and it even gets a little smile out of me.

"He said I'm mean and hostile." I pout lightly.

"Which you are… With him. To me you're not." He grins. "The prep team loves you, they say they've never have such an adorable girl; you won over the game makers, the whole city can't stop talking about you… and don't even get me staring on Gale."

Now this gets my attention. "Gale?"

"Heather, you're a complete different person with him, it's like you don't give a care in the world, you smile more, and you're comfortable around him. You're more likeable because you show the true you." he explains to me and put a hand in my shoulder. "Imagine you're talking to him, Heather."

"But Cinna, he already knows all about me." I shake my head.

"What about me? Am I your friend, Heather?" he asks and I instantly nod.

Of all the people I've met here, he's the one I like more and I feel like I can trust him so he's my friend, I decide.

"I'll be in the front row, easy to be seen. When they ask you something look at me and answer me."

I just smile at him and hug him gently. "They already love you." he reminds me and I let go.

When we meet up with the rest of our party, I realize Portia and her team have also done a great job. Gale looks striking in his black suit. Effie gives me a lot of compliments and I take them gratefully but totally ignore Haymitch's way. All the tributes line up and I'm position second to last because the girl tribute goes first; I'm incredibly worried because this means the audience will be already bored by the time it's my turn and Gale's turn. And as much as I'd like I can't shoot an arrow at the audience to get their attention…

I can see how this is going to be a problem, already.


	6. Chapter 6

_**hello guys. so this chapter is a little short but i had a writer's block. and it's also a little OOC to me but i couldnt find out how to fix it. before you read, I'd like to thank all of you for reviewing, following and favoriting this story. I love you. now, here's chapter 5.**_

_**Chapter 5:**_

_**Katniss' P.O.V. **_

Today's interview day and it is imperative for all of district 12 to watch it in the square, so that's where we're going. To my right is Prim who is clutching my hand tightly and to my left is my mom who walks like a zombie, completely numb and with a vacant stare. A few feet in front of us, there's Peeta Mellark who once in a while looks behind to see how we're doing—he's been sitting with me at lunch now, being a good friend to me and my family—and right behind us is Hazelle with the three children she has left, I wish I could be with her but she's strong, she doesn't need me.

Once we're in the square right at the front, where the family members and close friends get to be, the mayor announces the interviews are about to start; I send a quick hi Camilla's way, she's right behind us, and focus on the big screen. There's Caesar Flickerman introducing the show and soon enough the district 1 tribute walks to the stage, I cringe in disgust when I see her angle is being just sexy. No brains, total body. Then she's gone and the boy comes in with pretty much the same strategy. Now both tributes from 2 worry me immensely, they're brutal and show right off that they won't have any trouble in killing off everyone. District 3 and 4 I don't care about, four will probably be in the career group and 3 are just boring. The girl from 5 is way too clever for my liking and I find myself wishing I could warn Heather and Gale off her. Nothing grabs my attention until district 11 when a little dark-skinned girl steps into the stage and I feel a wave of sympathy when I learn she's Prim's age.

"Tell us; Rue… how has training felt like to you?" Caesar asks her.

"Different… although most of the tributes are mean, some others are kinder I guess." She says with a little voice that suggests innocence but at the same time radiates determination.

"So you've gotten along with the tributes?" he asks and she nods.

"Yes, the girl from district 12… Heather once helped me with a simple knot and well, there's always Thresh." She tells the audience and I smile.

Of course she helped her, Rue probably reminds her of Prim and that's why she went to her aid at the first opportunity she's got. Then Rue is telling us that even though she's small she's fast and knows how to hide so they all better not count her out.

Thresh doesn't really say much and just lets his muscle talk for him and when his 3 minutes are up, my breath catches in my throat because it's my sister's turn.

You can literally hear the intake of breath and the gasps all around the square as my sister walks toward Caesar Flickerman and shakes his hand with a winner smile on her face. I have never seen her so beautiful in my entire life and the dress it's so pretty it makes me be all selfish and wish I could have one too.

"Mommy, can I have a pretty dress like hers?" I hear Posy ask Hazelle and Prim and I smile at her innocence.

She doesn't get to answer because Heather is talking and everyone's attention goes back to the screen.

"Well, the thing I like the most about here has to be…" she hesitates for a moment and looks around the crowd looking for something or someone when I realize how much I've missed my older sister.

It doesn't matter how many times I act like I don't need her, like I can take care of myself. I need her to help me braid my hair or just console me when I wake up screaming at dad to run from the mines before they blow up.

"…the green apple pie." She finishes as she smiles at someone in the crowd and then looks back at Caesar with a complete new look of confidence she did not have at the beginning. I wonder who's at the crowd.

"The one they serve as dessert at dinner?" he reassures and she nods. "I love it; once I start I can't stop eating! It doesn't show, right?" he asks worriedly and the entire place starts to laugh.

"Heather, I have to tell you. When you appeared at the first ceremony my heart stopped." He tells her with a hand above his heart.

"So did mine." She admits and everyone laughs at her joke. Well, everyone at the capitol because here we're all quiet. You can only hear one or another chuckle.

"I had never seen such a beautiful girl like yourself." He pauses and she says a quick thank you before he continues. "What were you thinking then?"

"Before or after I got over the fear of burning to death?" she jokes, actually jokes and I know she's trying so hard to win the crowd over.

"But no, really, I thought Cinna's work was completely amazing and that he's incredibly talented." She smiles at some spot in the crowd again and I'm guessing that's where Cinna is.

"That he is. But so are you, I mean look at that training score! Eleven, e-le-ven." He tells at the audience like he can't believe it and they laugh with him and even Heather lets out a small laugh.

"Tell us what you did, girl." Caesar leans in to Heather in a way that suggests conspiracy and she laughs at him.

"She looks so care-free. The last time I saw her like this she was 7 years old." Mother mutters and Prim puts an arm around her waist comfortingly.

"Of course you haven't, because in the last four years you haven't worried about paying attention to her, not even once." I tell her bitterly without looking at her and ignore the pointed look I'm sure Prim's giving me.

"All I can say is… I think it was a first." Heather tells Caesar and the camera show the game makers who are laughing and nodding.

"I wish I could say more… but it's still a secret, right?" she asks the game makers and one in particular gets up from his seat and yells at her:

"Definitely yes, please don't tell!"

I find it a little rude but Heather doesn't because she's laughing like the old man just told her a very good joke. What did happen at her private sessions?

"Then let's go back to the moment of the reaping." Caesar says getting serious and my older sister's smiles falters. I immediately search for Prim's hand. "They called your sister's name and you volunteer, but not before pushing another young girl out of the way. Can you tell us about them?"

"Her name's Primrose and she's only twelve—the other girl is Katniss, my other sister and she's sixteen… I love them more than anything and I'd do anything for them." Heather says and her voice has a sad edge.

And I'd do anything for her, that's why I wanted to volunteer because I couldn't allow heather to go there. She is the one who's supposed to be able to have an almost decent future with all her friends being from town, she has more possibilities and yet she throws them away by volunteering.

"Did they talk to you? Said goodbye?" Caesar asks her and takes her hand in his, the entire capitol crowd and this one is silent hanging to her every word.

"Yes. They asked me to try to win, for them and…" she stops suddenly and her eyes go behind stage and I furrow. What's she doing? We only asked her to try to win so she could come back to us; there was no 'and'.

"And what did you tell them?"

Heather's eyes go back to Caesar and they study his face carefully, then she drops her eyes at their hands and when she looks up she looks like a complete different person. She looks right like she does when she's about to kill a deer, lips pursed, eyes shinning with emotion and body stiff, giving off the impression that she's a very cold person.

"I swore I would." She tells him with her head high and I actually believe her.

Because there isn't my sweet older sister that is nice to mother even if she ignores her, no there's the scary older sister that seeks revenge in the boys who make fun of Prim or the ones that didn't let me have lunch with them when I was little. For the first time ever, I am actually scared of Heather Everdeen and I can only hope the rest of the tributes are too.

Then the buzzer goes off and Caesar and Heather get up, he lifts her hand in the air and says:

"Well, everyone there you had it! Heather Everdeen the tribute girl from district 12." Then he turns to her and adds. "Best of luck, heather."

She smiles at him and then goes off the stage and I look to my side at Hazelle who has her eyes trained in the screen and a small, barely perceptible smile playing on her lips. Now it's Gale's turn and I can only hope for the best.

He walks through the stage and sits down, after shaking Caesar hand and I can't help but think how handsome he looks. I don't feel anything but friendly feeling towards Gale but I have to admit he cleaned up good.

"Well, Gale, it's good to have you here." Caesar tells him, nodding.

"And it's good to meet you." Gale answers back, seriously.

"Well, if he starts like that he won't be very popular." Prim frowns at the screen and I scoff.

Who said he wants to be popular? He only cares about getting Heather out and everyone knows that. Even Hazelle does and I'm sure that's why she's rolling her eyes at her son right now.

"And you also volunteered. Let me guess, didn't want to miss your last opportunity?" Caesar asks and Gale nods unsure.

"Well, Gale you got a 10. That's an incredible score." Caesar encourages Gale and for the first time he actually smiles.

"What can I tell you? I'm just good." he jokes and the capitol even laughs a bit, not as much as they laughed with Heather but they do.

Back at home, everyone's jaws are hanging open. Even Posy is looking weirdly at the screen. Gale Hawthorne actually cracked a joke for the capitol? This must be the end of the world. He never jokes, only when he's with us out in the woods or inside his house away from the peering eye… I wonder how much convincing from Heather's part that simple sentence took.

"But I guess the game makers liked what I got to offer and they decided to give me a ten." He shrugs and is back to his serious self.

Caesar nods at this and some of the people from the crowd nod in agreement. "Either way, you don't feel bad about Heather getting a higher score do you?" Gale dismisses it with a wave of his hand but Caesar and the crowd think this is not enough.

"Oh, come on! Do you feel bad about it?" Caesar taunts and the audience once again laughs.

"No, why should I? Heather is a great girl and very skilled. I saw her at training and I think she really deserves that 11." He nods and I roll my eyes.

"I can't believe him, even when it's his turn he's trying to get _her_ sponsors." I mutter angrily and Hazelle gently takes my hand.

"Don't worry, dear. He'll be fine." She tells me and I nod.

My attention is drawn back to the screen when I hear Caesar ask Gale about his personal life and if he has a girl back home, I groan when I hear some girls from the square sigh.

"Mmm, no… there's nobody." Gale hesitates and I'm praying Caesar didn't catch up on that.

"Oh, please! Handsome guy like you, you must have someone; and don't think I didn't notice you hesitate."

I mentally face palm myself and just beg Gale to lie, not to tell the truth in national television.

"Well… there's this girl I've like for a few years now."

There's whisper from the crowd and I can hear groups of girls practically swearing it's them he's talking about.

"Gale, I swear if you say it and actually make it home I'll kill you myself." I say under my breath but apparently not low enough because Prim turns to face me and lets go of my hand.

"Katniss, do you know something we don't?" she asks curiously and I shake my head.

"Just watch, you'll know soon enough." I mutter and she shrugs and does as I say.

"And what's wrong? Does she have another guy?" Caesar asks Gale and I realize that the entire audience is hanging off their seat not wanting to miss a word.

"Not that I know of… the thing is—"he pauses and for a moment I think he will actually back down and won't tell but I have no luck. "The thing is she thinks I'm in love with her sister so she doesn't really pay much attention to me."

"Sometimes a blind man sees more than my son, I swear. 'She doesn't pay much attention to me'? I thought I had brought him up to be smart." Hazelle shakes her head and scoffs. I laugh, completely agreeing with her.

The girls who don't have sisters sigh in discontent while the one who do have sisters are practically jumping up and down.

"Well, I'll tell you what, you win the games and when you come back she'll have to be with you." Caesar encourages and I shake my head at the same time Gale does.

"That won't do in my case." He mutters and there are shouts of confusion from the audience.

"Why not? I'm sorry but you lost me." Caesar asks truly confused. Gale's gaze drifts backstage, he remains silent for a second before rubbing his face with his hand.

"Well, you see… it won't help me because—because she came here with me." Gale finally says and the only thing that follows is silence. Silence from the audience at the capitol, silence from the square. You could literally hear a pin drop.

And then the entire crowd at the capitol erupted with cries of sympathy and sadness, and the square pretty much follows suit.

"That is… so great!" Prim yells smiling and then stops when she sees the attention is directed to her. "I mean, it'd be great if they weren't there." She looks down and flushes a deep red color.

"You mean…?" Caesar asks for confirming and then signals with his index finger to backstage where I'm hoping Heather isn't. The last thing I need is for her to walk to where he is and kill him right there for saying that in national television.

Caesar waits for Gale to mutter a simple yes and then continues. "Well, who could blame you? She's an adorable girl and very pretty."

He turns to the crowd who are nodding agreeing and then back to Gale. "Did she know?"

Gale frowns for a few seconds before shaking his head. "No, she didn't."

"How could she? Every time she'd ask you'd say you loved me, idiot." I mutter at the screen even though I know he can't hear me.

"Well, wouldn't you love to see her reaction?"

"Oh, no you don't." my mother suddenly says, surprising us all about the fact that she's actually paying attention.

The crowd erupts in cries of agreement and some are even begging at them to bring Heather back up but Caesar simply shakes his head sadly. "Unfortunately, Miss Everdeen's time's up. The best of lucks, Gale Hawthorne and I believe I speak for the whole of Panem when I say our hearts go with yours." he finishes just when the buzzer goes off and Gale retreats back to back stage and that's how the ceremony ends.

"I didn't see that coming." A voice says behind me and I turn around to find Peeta smiling down at me.

"oh, I did." I smile and frown when I realize I'm kind of nervous.

"so… listen, I was wondering if we could hang out sometime tomorrow?" he asks and I blink twice.

_I think Peeta Mellark's really cute. You'd like him, Katniss. _Heather's words, which she said to me a few months ago, come to my mind and I wonder if she meant I'd like him as a friend or something more, somehow I don't see him as just a friend. but you're never getting married, Katniss. I remind myself as I nod.

"sure, that'd be fine." He smiles and then leaves because his father is calling him.

The Hawthorne family agrees to go back to our home for dinner and in the way home I spend most of the time trying to figure out how Heather is going to react to this new piece of information.

"She's going to be super pissed." I shake my head and sigh.

"Why?" Prim asks confused and I look down at her.

"Because, little duck, she's probably thinking he doesn't mean it. That it's all a publicity stunt." I explain to her as we walk side by side around the first houses of the seam.

"But it's not. Why should she think something like that?" she asks and I smile down at her.

"Because she's really stubborn." I shrug and she nods agreeing with me.

"—and he doesn't show it enough." Hazelle says, appearing next to me and with Posy in her arms with her head in Hazelle's shoulder sleeping. "He's too afraid that she might turn him down."

"Yeah, because that'd be possible." Primrose scoffs.

The rest of the walk home is pretty much uneventful and I can't help thinking how badly I wish Gale had told her in private when she'd actually believe him. But I guess it is my fault somehow, I did tell him the morning of the reaping to tell her before it was too late, before she got tired of waiting or before she found someone but no, he wanted to wait until she was 18 and they were both safe from the reaping. Yeah, well that didn't work out pretty well did it?


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 6:**_

_**Heather's P.O.V.:**_

After Gale's interview I'm still recovering from my shock and it takes me around five minutes to actually understand he told the whole of Panem he's 'in love with me'. And when he walks to the corridor I'm currently at and just looks at me in the eyes, I get the feeling that he might actually feel something for me; that doesn't stop me, however, from talking a handful of his shirt around the shoulder and shoving him against the wall and glaring up at him. He's a little surprised about the fact that I—who is around a head shorter than him—actually got to shove him against the wall, and I'm sure that if it weren't because he was distracted there's no way in hell I'd be able to do that. In fact, I know he could get out of my hold any moment now.

"What the hell is wrong with you, uh?" I hiss at him, right when the entire 12 crowd starts to walk here and rush when they see the situation. "You console me but then you say you want to be coach separately and now you say you have a crush on me?" I push him harder against the wall, trying desperately to at least hurt him a bit but I know it won't work. I'm not strong enough.

"Hey, hey, hey. Break it, now." Haymitch says taking me from the waist and getting me off Gale but that doesn't stop me from trashing.

"No, let go off me. Don't you think about consequences?" I yell at Gale and now he's the one who's walking to where I am and Cinna immediately positions himself between me and him.

"Consequences? What consequences? If anything the only consequence there is, is me making a fool out of myself in front of the whole country." Ouch, that one actually hurt.

"You? Please, they ate it up like Posy eats cookies! But what about Katniss, uh?" I yell back, now really angry.

He's about to talk, already shaking his head when Effie holds up a hand and we all are silent. "That's enough, Heather! What happened with your manners?" she asks indignantly.

_I threw them off the window._ I think but don't say anything, just get out of Haymitch's grasp and cross my arms across my chest.

"This was your idea, wasn't it?" I hiss at Haymitch.

"It was mine, actually. He just helped me with it." Gale answers instead and I turn my head to see him so fast I actually get hurt.

"You should be thanking him, the boy gave you something you're too naïve to use." Haymitch snaps bitterly at me.

"Thank him? He made me look weak!" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air and glaring at everything and everyone. I guess I am mean and hostile when I want to.

"He made you look desirable, sweetheart. Before, you were so sweet, everyone believed you were an angel and they loved you but nobody really _desired _you; now that he does, everybody wants you. The star-crossed lovers from district 12!" he says and I roll my eyes.

"But—"I start to protest but shut up when Haymitch grabs my shoulders and shoves me against the wall.

"No buts. This is all a big show, don't you get it? Before I could only say you were a sweet beautiful girl with skills and who loves deeply enough to save her sister. Now, you've become a heartbreaker. Oh, how the poor boys back at home fall at your feet only for you to look down at them and decide who you want!" the smell of alcohol coming from his mouth disgusts me and I'm still to shock about the fact that he just shoved me against the wall, to speak or even try to conceal my surprise.

"—which is true." Gale says and directs my attention to him for a second, only to see that he's actually being held back by Cinna and glaring at Haymitch's head.

"Tell me, sweetheart, which one do you think will get you more sponsors?" Haymitch asks me, ignoring Gale completely and I frown.

So I'm right, the whole 'I'm in love with her' thing is just a stunt to get more sponsors. I don't understand how I could actually believed he'd actually feel that way and now, I'm even more embarrassed than before and not only that, I'm actually hurt and deep.

I push Haymitch hands off me and stand straight, fighting hard not to show my true emotions and to keep my façade of 'I don't give a crap about this' but with the great need of having to leave because I can feel that my façade is about to crumble under the tiniest pressure. Cinna lets go of Gale, who is currently having a glaring contest with Haymitch, and put a hand in my forearm.

"Heather…" Cinna starts but I cut him off.

"All right, but next time you do something of the kind I want to be inform." I say still a little bitter.

They look at me expectantly—except for Portia and Cinna who apparently do have something called consideration, and Gale who is finding the pattern of the floor very interesting.—and I frown at them not knowing what exactly are Haymitch and Effie waiting for.

"You'll have sponsor lining up, I assure you." Haymitch tells me this time with no resentment in his voice.

"The right thing to do would be to say…" Effie starts and her voice fades and I realize she's waiting for me to continue.

"Thank you." I mutter to no one in particular and immediately start to walk to the elevator, not stopping when any of them call out to me.

when I'm on the 12 floor, instead I rush to my room and shut the door closed with my back already shaking with controlled sobs. Once I make sure the door is locked, I slowly slip down the door and end up sitting in the floor with my arms around my legs and my head buried in my knees.

It hasn't been five minutes when I hear the rest of them get down from the elevator but nobody comes to check up on me. Half of me is happy; the other half wishes they'd care more. About an hour passes and I'm still crying on the floor, I can't honestly remember the last time I've cried this hard.

I think it was when it was a year of my father's death; I had been in the wood with Gale and Katniss, taking care of my bow when I got the sudden realization that my father had done it and that he'd be the one I'd go to for advice about it but I couldn't anymore. I broke down immediately; none of them knew what to do with me and then Gale ended up carrying me home where Prim made me tea; neither of them left my side until I calmed down and explained what had happened.

The thought of Gale makes me cry even harder but another hour later, I'm starting to calm down and instead I'm just sitting numbly at the floor with my head against the door and my tears running silently down my face. I'm afraid I'll become my mother.

"Heather, dear, dinner's served." Effie's voice comes to me from the other side of the door and I quickly brush away the rest of my tears and get up.

"Ok, I'll be there in a minute." I say, grateful that my voice doesn't break or waver.

I go to the bathroom, wash my face of any trails of tears of make up and change my dress for normal clothes. When I get to the dining room I sit at the far end of the table and don't talk to anyone or even acknowledge their presence. After dinner, we go and see the interviews again to see how everyone did. They comment on things but I don't really listen, the only thing I worry about is the weird feeling in the pitch of my stomach I always get when I'm scared and I know why that is: tomorrow the hunger games officially star at 10 A.M., Seeing as though Haymitch and Effie won't see us again, once the review is over the awkward goodbyes star. She tells us how great it was to meet us and how we're the best tributes she's ever had and then, because she's Effie and imperatively has to say something bad, she tells us that maybe next year she'll be promoted to a better district and then leaves in a rush. This leaves us with Haymitch who just looks at us for a moment.

"Any last advice?" Gale asks.

"When the gong sounds, get out of there, find higher ground and water. She's your new best friend." He tells us and I realize that for the first time ever, he's actually sober.

"And then?" I wonder out loud and he turns to me.

"You stay alive."

Gale and I glance at the other and then he turns around and walks to his room, I'm about to follow when Haymitch stops me. Not Gale and me, just _me_.

"What?" I ask mistrustfully.

"I already had a few words with Gale, but I haven't talked to you." he tells me and sits down on the couch, I follow him confused.

"I genuinely think you can win this, Heather. Not only because you're a natural survivor but because you're going into that arena for the only thing the capitol hates: love." Haymitch starts and I find eerie how wise he's when he's not drunk.

"So, this is why I'll tell you what I've never tell the other tributes. To win, you've to outsmart the others, yes, but you'll have to kill at least 2 people and for that I want you to be merciless. You can't stop to consider because then they'll kill you." he informs me and I shake my head.

"I'm not a killer; I won't let them change me." I whisper a bit shaken because of what he's telling me.

"You kill animals."

"No, Haymitch, it's not the same." I tell him indignantly.

"Gale tells me you kill deer—practically the most innocent creature—and that you actually enjoy it. Imagine they're a deer, there's no difference, Heather." He says gently and I run a hand through my hair.

"I'll try to help you as much as I can, if you think about what I said and promise me this: out there you'll be 60% angel and 40% devil." I smirk at the thought but then frown. Isn't 60% too much? They could kill me easily with that 60%.

"Why 60%? Why not less?" I ask Haymitch.

"Because people already see you as a fallen angel but they know you must not be completely like that thanks to your 11; if you turn into a killing machine right away, it might break the spell you have them under." He says tiredly and I nod.

"I promise." I say and get up, walking to my room.

"Good luck, Heather." Haymitch calls out to me but this time I don't turn around.

"Thank you." I say over my shoulder and think that maybe, Haymitch isn't that bad. That maybe he's the way he is because the games changed him, because he has no family, no one. I wonder if he's helping us because he's gotten attached to us.

In my room, I finally shower scrubbing down all of the golden dust and washing my hair; enjoying every bit of it because I know that after tomorrow I won't shower in a very long time, in fact this might be my last shower ever. Then I get under the covers and close my eyes shut, trying to get some sleep because I'll need it for tomorrow. The time passes and I'm still as conscious as I was in the afternoon, my eyes aren't even closed anymore instead I'm lying down, looking up at the ceiling and Haymitch's words haunt me. Kill mercilessly? I don't know if I'm able to do that. Rabbits, deer, squirrels, wild dogs, bears, even birds, those I kill mercilessly; but a person? Someone who I've talked to? I can't. _If you don't defend yourself, they'll kill you. _A voice inside my head tells me and I frown, knowing it is right; I can't kill mercilessly and with finesse, but I'll have to.

Prim will freak out about me killing someone and Katniss… Katniss will never forgive me and I don't know if I'll be able to look at her and have those grey eyes look back at me with nothing but disappointment and distrust. Although she'd be supposed be happy I lived, right? And what about Hazelle? If I really do make it, Gale will have to die and if the games don't change me that definitely will. I won't be able to see Hazelle in the eye and tell her her son is dead but I'm alive. Shoving the covers back, I get up and run a hand through my hair walking to the door and leaving the room. My feet don't make a sound against the floor as I walk to the sitting room where I know a big window is waiting for me. I stop short when I see a shadow sitting in the window seat and I try to walk back, but I really do need to take my mind off things. Right when I'm practically behind him and I see my reflection's starting to show on the window I say:

"You should be sleeping." I sit in front of him and lift my legs so I can hug them.

"I could say the same about you." Gale tells me, finally breaking his gaze from the window and looking at me.

"I couldn't turn my mind off." I whine, resting my head in the wall and looking at the crazy-appearing capitol's streets.

"Thinking about Prim and Katniss?" he asks and I smile a bit because I was indeed thinking about them.

"Prim, Katniss, mother, Haymitch, Hazelle, the arena…you." I shrug.

"Why my mother?" he asks, furrowing.

"She visited me before we came here; the conversation just came to mind." I sigh.

It's not like I can tell him his mother told me to not feel bad if he dies, that'd be cruel besides I can tell he's already worked up about something so I'm not giving him another thing to worry about.

"I couldn't sleep." He tells me and then studies me cautiously. "I heard what Haymitch said: the whole'60% angel 40% devil' thing. Do you think you can do it?"

"Do _you_ think I can?" I avoid answering the question. "Or better yet, when the time comes will you be able to kill?"

"I know you can. I want to know if you know as well." He tells me, ignoring my question.

"I won't be completely sure until the moment comes." I say and it's true, I'm better when it comes to acting out of impulse. When it comes to planning in the moment; I usually know what to do but I figure out _how_ to do it according to how things go.

"You didn't answer my second question." I reproach.

"Why should I? You already know the answer." He snaps and I sigh again.

He's right, I know the answer. I know that when the time comes, Gale won't have a problem in killing someone; especially if that someone is threatening his life or mine. And that worries me, what if he turns into a killing machine? Or what if the other tributes already saw this and have him on their list?

"I am—"I start to say after a moment and then stop short.

"I admit shoving you to the wall wasn't exactly the best thing to do." I continue once I've gathered my thoughts. He remains silent and when I see he's not planning in answering me I just glare, get up and start to leave.

"Good luck tomorrow at the arena, Gale." I say over my shoulder and keep walking to my room, not knowing if he ever answered me and not really bothering to.

When I make it to my bed I realize all the thinking and talking has both mentally and emotionally drained me and I fall asleep faster than a baby, I don't even pull the covers around me. At dawn, I'm woken up by Cinna who gives me some sort of shift to wear and then directs me to the roof. There a hovercraft materializes and we grasp the ladder and we're lifted inside; there a woman comes to me with a big needle and takes my arm.

"This is your tracker, Heather. Don't move." She says and inserts the tracking device deep inside my forearm. I wince for the pain.

An avox boy directs us to a room where breakfast is served and I start to eat, wanting to have as much strength as I can have out in the arena. An hour or so later, the hovercraft lands and Cinna and I go down the ladder again only this time it leads to a tube that goes underground where I'll be preparing to enter the arena. I try as hard as I can not to throw up my food while I shower and dress, after I'm ready Cinna helps me put on my jacket.

"It keeps body heat, so you won't be that cold." He explains to me and I nod.

Then he reaches into his pockets and pulls out something golden and puts it in my shirt by my heart. I recognize it immediately: the mockingjay pin. He then zips up my jacket until it safely covers the pin and looks at me, putting one of his hands on my right cheek.

"You're ready; we just have to wait for the call." And that's what we do, sit down, clutch our hands and wait for the robotic feminine voice to tell me to get into the cylinder and about 2 minutes later, we hear her.

We get up and I hug him tightly, he really is my friend and I'll miss him. He's helped me so much.

"Remember everything Haymitch told you." he tells me as I step into the metal cylinder. "And I'm not allowed to bet but if I could I'd bet on you." he kisses the top of my head and then a wall of thin glass encircles the cylinder and I'm pushed up, Cinna disappearing from my view.

I'm momentarily blinded by the bright light outside and I feel the breeze in my face that's held high because I'm not scared. If only. Once my eyes get used to the light, I see the cornucopia right in front of me with all the goodies. To my right there's a big lake, to my left and back the woods, Where Haymitch would want me to go immediately. We have exactly 60 seconds to ready ourselves before the bong sounds and the games really start; I take this time to look around the tributes, looking for Gale. I find him to my left, three tributes down from me. We lock eyes faster than ever and I know what he's trying to tell me. _Get out of here, Heather. Run as fast as you can and don't do anything reckless._ But I've never been one to follow orders so I turn my eyes to the cornucopia, looking for something that is close enough and won't put me in much danger. I see a backpack a few feet from me, close enough for me to get down and run to it and then get out of there without any of the careers noticing me. But then my eyes catch something shiny near the cornucopia and I want it, it's a bow and arrows and I know it's for me. It has to be for me because Glimmer it's not exactly good with it, but the problem is that it is way too far from where I am and for me to get to it, I'd have to enter the bloodbath. Entering the bloodbath means certain death. My eyes travel from the bow to the backpack to Gale over and over again until I hear:

"Ladies and gentleman let the 74th annual hunger games begin!" and the bong goes off.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Chapter 7:_**

I jump fro the plate and run to the backpack first, deciding that I'll get this and depending on how things go I'll run to the bow, I get hold of it at the same time another boy does and right when I'm about to push him off it, he falls to the ground with a knife to the back. I don't have to turn to know the knife is Clove's; instead I yank it from the boy's back and put the backpack over one of my shoulders. I turn around to see Clove aiming at my head and throwing another knife my way, I quickly put the backpack as a shield, the knife burying itself in it. I sprint for the woods, leaving the sound of cries and weapons clashing behind, and don't stop until I'm sure I'm far enough from the cornucopia.

I sit down to rest and take this time to see what I have, so far I already have two knifes—the one I took from the fallen tribute and the one in the front of the backpack—and the pack contains a few essential things. I open it to find a sleeping back, some matches, rope, iodine, an empty half-gallon bottle for water, some crackers, a pair of sunglasses and a pack of dried beef sticks. It's not exactly much but it'll have to do for now. I jump when I hear the first cannon go off, signalizing the death of a tribute, and then start to count how many cannons blow. Eleven have fallen, thirteen to go. If the cannons are going off, the bloodbath must have ended already and the careers might or might not be in the hunt for other tributes, that thought makes me get up and start walking. I suddenly wonder if Gale's among the fallen but the idea hurts me so much I dismiss it; I start to look for water, this is not the time to worry about Gale—I'll have plenty of time for that later—but to worry about surviving, I made it through the bloodbath but if I don't find water soon I'll be dead within the week.

When it's about to get dark and I still haven't find water, I give up, find a high enough tree to sleep in and decide I'll keep looking tomorrow. At night, the fallen tributes are shown in the sky and I'm relieved to find Gale isn't among them but at the same time I'm struck with the fear of us being the last two standing and me having to kill him or the other way around. With that disturbing thought, I nod off.

Three days pass and I haven't find water yet, I can feel the dehydration is affecting me already—it has affected me since day one, actually, it's just that now it's too strong to ignore.—but I keep pushing forward, knowing there must be water somewhere, right? In my state I forget to look down and accidentally trip, falling to the ground. I try to get up but it's too hard, so I just sit down against a tree and look around.

This can't be happening; I refuse to die like this. If I die it will be because a fucking career killed me not because I couldn't find water; there must be water somewhere, if not here then at the capitol. Aren't I supposed to have sponsors lining up? One of them must want to pay for a bit of water, I'm sure of it, if I don't have water that's because they won't send it over. _I'll help you as much as I can._ Haymitch's words stumble into my mind with such clarity it's like he's telling them to me right now; liar bastard, he's surely looking at me now laughing his head off because I can't find water and I was stupid enough to believe he'd help me, but Haymitch is not that bad so I know that isn't it. What? Is he waiting for me to get over myself and beg? Because that certainly won't happen.

"Come on, girl, you've to get up." I mutter to myself but make no attempt to comply.

My eye flutter close and I slam my head against the bark; I guess this is it then. I'll be Heather Everdeen the girl who _was_ on fire and _had_ the potential to win the games but _didn't _because she trusted her twisted mentor who waited for you to figure everything out on your own and only helped when strictly necessary.

"I hate you, Haymitch." I say to the air, knowing that all the cameras must be on me. Nobody wants to miss how the girl on fire dies whether it is a bloody death or one caused by natural causes.

My eyes fly open. Wait a minute, Haymitch waits for you to figure everything out and only helps when necessary which means he won't waste money he can use on something really important—like medicine or a blanket.—on something I can get on my own. If he hasn't send me water it's because I'm almost there, the only problem is how far 'almost there' is. I can almost hear him say _come on, sweetheart, you said you'd try. Are you really going to give up? You're almost there! Move! _And that's exactly what I do, I try to get up by using the bark of the tree as support but I can't, so instead I fall on my knees and hands and start to crawl, feeling the ground and digging my nails into the dirt to see if I feel something wet.

A few minutes later that feel like years, I finally find a pond with lilies floating in it; I quickly take my bottle and fill it to the top putting a few drops of iodine in and waiting desperately the amount of time needed for the water to purify, once it's over, I swallow the entire half-gallon down and then fill a second one which I also swallow but this time I drink it slower. I fill a third half-gallon but don't drink it and start looking for a tree, I find a willow, climb it and take out some of the rabbit I hunted the day before and eat it quietly at the same time I drink from the bottle. When the seal appears at night only to reveal there were no deaths today, I go to sleep.

_Snap!_ The sound of breaking twigs wake me and I frantically look around without getting up, trying to figure out what makes the noise. Then the far smell of smoke makes me look to my left where I see someone has started a fire, I sit down and look to where they're. _Idiot._ They'll be catch faster than anyone and yes, the night's cold but man up. Then I can hear footsteps and I know the careers have found them, I don't make any attempt to move because I'm way to high for them to see me if I don't make any noise so I just stay there waiting for whoever it was that started the fire to die.

It's not like I can actually move, seeing as though the idiot practically gave away my location without even knowing it. There's a high-pitched scream and I instantly know it was a girl that started the fire, and that they got to her; following the scream there's multiple laughter and congratulations that come from several voices. I now know they are hunting and fighting the tributes in a pack, something very common between the careers.

"Better clear out before they come for the body." Cato's voice comes to me.

They start to move and I'm froze on the spot when I realize they're coming my way, I move as fast as I can and start to climb higher but have to stop mid way because they're faster than I thought and they're right below the willow.

"I didn't hear a cannon go off." A male voice I think belongs to Marvel says.

"It should've go off by now—unless she's not dead." One of the girls says.

"She's dead! I killed her myself." A voice that I'd recognize too well says and I know Clove is not exactly happy they think she didn't kill her completely.

They all start to argue and I take this opportunity to start to climb swiftly to the top of the tree, right when I'm grabbing a branch for support and lifting my foot to put it against the bark, a voice stops the fight.

"it doesn't matter, I'll finish her off."

I lose my footing and one of my hands slips from the branch. I end up with one arm steadily on a big branch, one arm and one leg in the air and one foot in a really fragile little branch that my foot magically found while I tried not to fall and not to make any noise at the same time. Not easy.

What's the reason of my tripping? Gale Hawthorne offering to finish off a tribute that's most likely in the brick of death, that's what. I see him turn around and walk to the old camp with a torch, it illuminates for a second his face and I let out a breath of relief when I see that apart from a bruise or two he's perfect but then I tense again and feel complete and utter betrayal. How could he join the careers? How could he team up with those vicious arrogant murders and help them hunt down the rest of the tributes? Help them hunt me down? That's just unforgivable; I never thought he'd do it. They're the capitol lap dogs, for heaven's sake!

"We should kill him already." Glimmer whines and I look down, having a perfect view from up here.

"Not yet, he's really good." Cato answers and I roll my eyes.

"I don't know about good. He's the only way we can get to her." Clove spits 'her' with such hate; I immediately know it's me.

"You think she fell for that 'I love her' stuff?" the girl from district 4 whose name slipped my mind, says.

"I don't think, she seems smarter than that but they're friends anyway and the arena can get scary." Glimmer mocks and I fight the urge to yell at her that it can get scary for _her._

"I bet you he knows how the heck she got that eleven." Marvel says and I roll my eyes again, seriously though what kind of idiots are they? Even if he knew, which he does, he would never tell them… right?

Right then, Gale comes back with a frown in his face informing them that the girl was indeed alive but that now she's dead and they move on. I wait until they're far enough and climb down the tree; once I'm in the ground I know I must be in every screen in the whole of Panem with a close up of course. Everyone must be dying to know what I'm thinking right now, so I just look around and allow myself to smirk a devilish smirk and start to run the other way they went for the rest of the night.

I walk for a few hours, feeling the eyes of Panem on me and trying as hard as I can not to show how betrayed I feel, and realize there's no way I'm sleeping again so instead I spend the entire day hiking, hunting one rabbit and this weird big bird that looks like a wild turkey but at the same time doesn't and by night I go to sleep to find that the girl Gale finished off was from district 8.

I jump in my sleep when a weird smell fills my nostrils and my eyes fly open when I recognize it as smoke. I look around to see a great wall of fire coming my way and put my stuff back on my backpack as fast as I can and jump to the ground, starting to run. Everyway I go there's fire, I'm confused and the smoke hurts my eyes and makes it hard to breathe but I continue to run to where I see there's no fire. I've always been a fast runner but now it seems I can't run fast enough, the heat is unbearable and I feel like a trapped animal frantically trying to run away; my nose and throat burn, every breath I take sends a wave of pain and I'm coughing heavily but I still don't stop running because if I do, I won't make it out alive.

I stop for a minute to rest when I hear a hiss and a ball of fire blasts into a rock that's close to me, I look at it for a second before starting to run again and flatten on the ground when I hear another hiss. Once I make sure the fireball has passed I get up again and start to run, this time not being fast enough when another hiss comes and having it brushed against my knee sending a great wave of pain through my entire leg. I keep running, driven by the need to survive no matter what and finally make it to a safe place.

I rest my hands in my knees and bend over, throwing up my dinner and any content of my stomach and the toxic I just breathed in as well. Once the vomiting is over I sit down and look at my knee which is a bright red and covered with bristles. That's not good. Even though I find fire fascinating, I hate burns, I think they're the worst pain ever and right now I hate them more than the capitol itself. How ironic must they find this, the girl on fire is actually burned I bet they're having a good laugh at it.

The pain in my knee brings me back from my thought and I take my time examining it. My mother, being the great healer she is, has cured people with burns and Prim and I have helped more than once but sometimes the burn is too severe and there's nothing left to do; I'm thankful to find that even though my burn is a second degree one, I will not die because of it. All it needs is some cold water to be clean and some bandages and maybe I'll be able to walk and run perfectly in a matter of days. Yeah, I wish. This burn isn't severe—I've seen much worse, some even to the bone.—but water and bandages, that I don't have, won't heal it completely, I need medicine and I don't see that coming easily.

I slowly get up and walk towards a close pond, walking in it and relaxing when the cold water reaches my wounded knee. Unfortunately, it hasn't been more than five minutes when loud footsteps echo around me and I know the careers have found me. Turning to my right, there they are: Marvel, Glimmer, Clove, Cato, the girl from 4 and Gale. My eyes glare at them as I start to retreat to shore as they see me, I might want to fight but I just have two knifes and I don't think I can fight five people with two knifes.

"Hey! There she's! Don't run." Marvel yells. Really? Don't run? Is that all he had to say? Goodness, are these people dumb.

"She's mine." Clove yells, running faster towards me. I knew she'd want to kill me because I was prettier.

"Not if I get her first." Cato jokes making it obvious that I'm Clove's kill.

I run as fast as I can, the adrenaline making me forget my knee, and climb the highest tree I find. By the time they're at the bottom of the tree I'm already mid way to the top, meaning I'm way too far for them to actually hurt me.

"How are you all doing?" I ask down at them cheerfully as I sit in one of the highest branch.

They look at each other, clearly confused before Cato takes a step forward and answers:

"We're ok. How about you?"

"It's been a little hot for my liking but apart from that, I've never been better." I smile, knowing the audience loves what I'm doing and keep looking at Cato, completely avoiding Gale.

"Why don't you join me? The breeze is great here." I suggest and my smile grows into a mischievous smirk when I see Cato is actually accepting my offer.

There's no way he'll make it, he's too big and the first branches of this tree aren't exactly strong, he'll be in the ground before he realizes what happened to him.

"I'll see for myself." Cato growls and starts to climb up. His hand leans in a small twig that breaks and sends him flying down to the ground, he falls on his back and I wish he'd have hit his head and died.

"I'll get her." Glimmer positions the arrow and sends it my way but her aim is so bad the arrow pins itself a few centimeters away from me and I reach out for it, waving it in their faces.

"Wow, Glimmer, I've got to tell you: you're a real prodigy when it comes to archery, and that aim…you're a natural." I mock her and Gale bursts out laughing along with Clove and the girl from 4, all of them receiving a glare from Glimmer.

I put the arrow in the backpack while they argue about how to bring me down, and sigh slightly. The pain in my knee is returning and even though I'm acting all tough now, making fun of them and everything, I won't be able to keep it going for long. My eyes wander to Gale without my permission and I find he's looking at me, his grey eyes meet my blue ones and my heart skips a beat. I'm an idiot, I cannot believe that after everything he's done I still feel this way; my eyes start to fill with fresh tears—tears I hadn't produce since the day of the interview.—and his face softens immediately. I shake my head and look away, he will not win me over like this and I will not forgive him that easily.

Eventually the careers get bored and decide to make camp at the bottom of my tree, assuring they'd hunt me down in the morning. I'm sure they will, my leg hurts me more than it hurt when the burn happened, my head hurts, I'm tired and hungry and I'm an emotional wreck. I want to cry but the careers won't let me, I'm resting my head in the bark of the tree while examining my knee when I hear a _beep!_ Coming from the sky and I'm completely surprised when a plastic pot attached to a silver parachute lands on my lap. It's the first gift I've received from a sponsor in the last five days and I'm incredibly grateful. I open the pot to find a weird substance that, judging for the smell, it's medicine; I dip two fingers in the pot and put the ointment in my knee, immediately relaxing because the pain goes away almost instantly. I keep the little pot in my backpack and look up at the sky.

"Thank you, Haymitch." I whisper. "Oh, and for the record, I don't really hate you."

I've misjudge Haymitch, he hasn't abandoned me like I thought he had, he's actually looking out for me; only helping when needed like now. This medicine feels so good and the effect is so immediate I know not only one but many sponsors have paid for it.

With my knee not hurting so much, I fall asleep. I'm woken up by someone calling my name and I realize it's not even dawn yet, I sit down and look down but I don't find anything apart from the careers sleeping soundly. I'm not surprised at all when I see Clove's using Cato's arm as a pillow and that he has his other hand in her shoulder.

"Heather, over here!" someone hisses at me and I look up, realizing the voice doesn't come from below but above.

Rue is a few trees away and she's signalizing with her finger at something fifteen feet up, when I look up I freeze with fear because I know what that is. It's a tracker jackers nest, they're venom is highly dangerous—it can even kill you.—and if they sting you, you'll have unbearable pain and very realistic hallucinations. Then I realize something, the nest is hanging exactly above the careers, if I tear it down the careers will have to flee.

I climb up to where the nest is and with my knife, start to work through the branch where the nest is. I know I only have a few minutes so I work as fast as I can and watch in amazement as the nest goes falling down to the ground and breaks like an egg, sending all the tracker jackers into the air and making them attack the poor careers on the ground—sarcasm intended.—they wake up and start to run. Clove, Gale, Cato and Marvel being faster and getting out of there with only one or two stings, Glimmer and the girl from 4 though, aren't that lucky. The girl from 4 dies almost instantly and the tracker jackers that are left attack Glimmer with all they have, bringing her to her death.

I watch all this safely from the up branches of the tree and only go down once I'm sure the tracker jackers are gone; I'm lucky not even one got to me—I double checked.—and I kind of feel sorry for the girl from district 4. Not for Glimmer, though, she did steal my bow and arrows; walking to her corpse, I retreat the shaft of arrows and the bow from her disfigured hands and look around for any other goodies she could've had with her when footsteps make me look up.

I guess I took to long making sure the tracker jackers were gone before going down and now the careers are coming back for me; the first I see is Gale, face flushed and dripping wet with a spear in hand, ready to send it flying. He stops in front of me, almost like he didn't expect me here at all and I blink up at him.

"Are you out of your mind? What are you still doing here, Heather?" he asks me, looking behind him and back at me.

"I wanted my bow." I say matter-of-factly. "What about you? Did they send you to kill me or did you volunteered again to 'finish me off'?" I ask innocently and he flinches.

He opens his mouth to say something but is cut out by angry footsteps approaching and by Cato appearing from a few miles away; he looks at Cato then at me and pushes me with the shaft of the spear urging me to get up.

"Go, run." He orders me but I'm too focused on Cato's angry face and what he'll do to Gale to move. "Dammit, Heather! Get out of here now!"

I don't need another push, I start running as fast as I can away from the scene, the need to survive overwhelming me, and don't stop until I run into something or, better yet, someone.

We both let out a yelp as we collide with each other and she immediately starts to crawl away from me but I put my hands high so she knows I mean no harm.

"Rue, wait. Don't go," She pauses for a moment and I take this chance to walk to where she is and lay out my hand for her to take. "I won't hurt you, I swear."

She looks at my hand then at me and her eyes slowly drift to my shirt where my mockingjay pin is and then she takes my hand and I help her get up.

"You're bleeding," She points to my right eyebrow and I lift a hand to touch it, realizing she's right, I have no idea when I hurt myself, maybe around the time I was running away from the careers yesterday.

It's not something too big to worry about, just a small cut so I clean my blood-stained fingers in a tree and shrug.

"It's nothing," I say but she shakes her head.

"no, let me help you," she walks to a small bush and yanks some leaves out, walks back to where I am and orders me to sit, putting one of the leaves in my eyebrow and ordering me to apply pressure.

"Don't let go off it for 10 minutes." she tells me seriously and I smile.

"You know… it wouldn't do me any good to continue alone," I start and get up, walking slowly forward and looking behind my shoulder to see Rue frowning. "Lately I've almost dehydrated, been burned to death and I have encountered the careers twice, in one opportunity they get me trapped… I'd be dead if someone hadn't had showed me the nest." _Or if someone hadn't risked his life to protect you by pushing you out of the way._ A voice adds in my head and I frown, thinking about Gale.

"And here you are… no one has found you even once, you haven't dehydrated and you're really fast and skilled… I wonder what I could learn from you, if we were to stay together, say, as allies." I suggest, turning around to face her.

She's a few feet from me, she had obviously considered fleeing, but by the time I finished talking her eyes widen in surprise and she runs to me, hugging me.

"Do you really want to be allies with me?" She asks me with such an excitement, I can't help but hug her back.

"Of course I want to." I tell her honestly and I can almost hear Haymitch say _are you fucking kidding me, right now?_


	9. Chapter 9

**_Chapter 8:_**

The next two days I spend with Rue. Every night, though, I'm extremely nervous they'll show Gale's picture in the sky but not once does he show up there. I've learnt a lot about Rue, I know how she's been following everyone except for Thresh, because 'the best place to hide is right under their nose, they'll never look for you near them.' Her words, not mine, but I can't help but realize how true they are. She admits to following me more than the others because she has always trusted me and not once did I hear her. When I ask her why she trusts me she answers:

"Your mockingjay pin, we have a lot of mockingjays back home so we use them as a sign that we're ok." it's incredible how much she reminds me of Prim.

I also learn she knows a lot about plants, edible plants. Right now, as I'm roasting the bird—which she also recognizes and calls it a groosling.—she goes and finds some roots that taste delicious when roasted over the fire. We eat eagerly, Rue finishes first and stares longingly at my half eaten leg, I offer it to her and she shakes her head.

"I can't do that, it's yours." She exclaims but I just laugh it off.

"Don't be silly, I want you to eat it."

She hesitates for a minute so I add: "I can hunt more, now that I have the bow and I can set up some snares so go ahead take it." I put it in her hands and after a minute her hunger wins her over and she starts to eat.

"I thought that you'd be able to eat more back at district 11, with you growing the food and all." I comment.

"No, no, we can't eat the crops." Rue's eyes widen like I've said the unthinkable.

"They arrest you?" I ask.

"They whip you and make everyone watch." By her expression I can tell it's not something uncommon.

Back at district 12, the whippings are rare, Gale, Katniss and I could get whipped for what we do—we could get killed, but let's not go into detail.—but most of the peacekeepers buy our meat so they let it slide and our mayor isn't that barbaric.

We then show the other our own possessions and she gasps when I hand out the sunglasses I had totally forgotten about.

"Where did you get those?" She asks and I motion t the pack with my head.

"Back at home, we use it so we can see in the night. When it's completely dark and the torches don't reach somewhere, we put them on so we can see our work." She explains to me as she takes it from my hands and examines them closely.

We put out the fire and climb in a tree; I decide to share my sleeping bag with her so she won't be cold and we both look up at the sky waiting for the anthem to play and for the dead tributes to show. I tense in anticipation and Rue looks at me.

"Don't worry; I don't think he's dead, besides we haven't heard any cannons today."

I'm surprised that she's read me so well but decide to act dumb. "Who isn't dead?"

She looks at me with an incredulous look and says:

"Gale, the boy from your district."

"…he—"I run a hand through my hair and sigh. "He saved me from Cato, forced me to move. And now I don't know where he is and well…" I look up to the sky, fighting tears again.

"He's probably with the Careers; maybe he convinced Cato that I was an illusion produced by the tracker jackers' venom." I finish.

"I think you two make a cute couple." Rue says after a few minutes of silence and I smile sadly.

"We're not together." I tell her.

"…but he's in love with you."

I don't answer, instead I change subject. "Who else has these glasses?"

"The careers have two more and they've got everything else down the lake. Food, weapons, blankets, even chairs, everything." She sighs and I furrow my eyebrows. "They're so strong."

"What if they weren't? What if their food and supplies were gone?" I suddenly say, thinking back at an old thought. Hadn't I say that the careers wouldn't make it a week if they didn't have any food? Because they can't hunt.

"This is the hunger games after all." I add.

"But they aren't hungry." Rue says and I nod.

"Exactly, they aren't. That's the problem." And for the first time since the games started, I have a real plan, an offensive plan because it really is time I let my inner devil out and keep my angel in.

"I'm sorry but you lost me, Heather."

"Rue, I think it's time we even this game out." I tell her.

She agrees eagerly but then falls asleep pretty quickly; I know she truly trusts me completely because the moment she decides she's too tired, she cuddles closer to me and I make no attempt to move.

"Ok, so light this one up first," I say as I put one last branch in the pile. "Then I want you to run and light up the second one and third one, if you see something's wrong you run okay?" I tell her. She nods and looks at the pile.

"We need a signal to make sure we're ok," Rue says. "We should use the one I use back at home, it's pretty simple." Then she sings a four-note song and all the mockingjays answer her back, soon enough there's a complete concert of Rue's four-note.

"Mockingjays," I mutter and look up at the trees in amazement.

"You try it." I do as she says and sing her four-note tune, making everything go silent for a few seconds and then the mockingjays start to sing me back.

Rue takes a step closer and hugs me; I hug her back and try to comfort her.

"Don't worry, we'll be together again by supper." She nods and steps back, waving good bye I start to walk to the cornucopia.

It takes me around an hour and a half to reach it and when I do, I stay behind the trees, completely camouflaged.

The careers are sitting near the cornucopia and I frown when I see there's only 4 tributes. Marvel, Cato, Clove and the boy from 3 but no sight of Gale what-so-ever; I start to worry but then remember he hasn't appeared in the sky so he must be fine, probably out ran Cato and got away. The cornucopia is exactly like it was the first day and so is the field but there's a change: the ground around the plates has been digged out; I see a big wall of smoke coming from between the trees and I know Rue has started the first fire, the careers start to discuss and then they all get up and start to walk to the forest.

"When we find her, she's mine and I'll kill her my way." I hear him say before he leaves and I know he's talking about me. Rue didn't throw a tracker jackers nest at him.

I take a few steps to the cornucopia and stop to think, why did they leave and didn't leave a guard? There must be a reason why they left the goodies unguarded. My eyes travel to the digged ground and then back to the goodies, weren't the bombs supposed to be there? Several yards to my right there's movement and foxface appears running to the cornucopia, I watch intently as she jumps through the ground surrounding the goodies—like she's scared the ground might blow up if she stands in the wrong place.—takes some food and leaves, disappearing into the other side of the forest. The pieces fall into place and my eyes widen, they have set a booty trap and for me to blow everything up in the sky I'll have to send the bombs off… how do I do that?

I grind my teeth in frustration, how is it that foxface discovered this and I haven't? Then my eyes catch a bag of apples hanging from the highest bag, I can send an arrow flying that way, break the bag, make all the apple touch the ground, thus sending the bombs off. I take one arrow, position it on the bow and ready myself. My target: the bag of apples. I'm hoping that the bombs that the apples touch might start a chain reaction so I don't go too near the cornucopia; instead I head back to the safety of the trees. I know is a long shot but I've got to try.

_Don't over think it._ With that thought I send the arrow. The bag of apples rips and I watch as they slowly touch the ground and everything blows up in the sky, the force throws me backwards even though I'm a few miles away. The sound makes the careers run back and saying they're mad it's the understatement of the century. Cato causes such a scene that a prom queen would be proud of it, he starts to trash around, hitting everything and even starts to yell at the boy from 3. He's demanding something and when the boy doesn't know how to answer, Cato puts his hands around his neck and snaps it without blinking. I had been watching all of this in some sort of faze, still completely stunned because of the explosion but Cato snapping the boy's neck brings me back and I instantly start to run away from the scene right when the boy's cannon goes off.

I sing Rue's four-note tune but start to get worried when she doesn't sing back. I walk fast around the woods going to the place where she was supposed to light the third fire, my hearts stops when I see it unburned and my walking quickly turns into jogging. I don't sign anymore, now, I shout Rue's name, hoping she'll answer.

"Heather!" I hear her yell desperately. "Heather!"

I run as fast as I can towards her voice, I know this might as well be a trap but I don't care because I've got to save her. When I turn sharply to my left, I find her in the floor inside a net and she's trashing around, trying to get out desperately; I run to her and take out my knife and rip the net open. She gets out and hugs me.

"You're ok, it's ok." I sooth her as I try to even out my own breathing.

"I thought—I thought…" she starts to say as she steps back but something behind me catches her eyes, making them widen.

"Heather, look out," She shouts and I turn around to see Marvel send a spear my way.

I get down and, in the process, position an arrow in the bow, sending it Marvel's way. I don't tear my eyes away until I see the arrow go straight through Marvel's neck and him falling to the ground dead.

A gasp makes me turn around to see Rue with the spear buried in her chest; a knot is form on my throat as I watch in horror how she takes the spear and yanks it off her chest making blood come out in worryingly big amounts. She falls to the floor and I quickly put her head in my lap.

"Shhh, you'll be fine, it's not that bad." I say as I fumble with her shirt, trying to stop the bleeding but to no avail.

"Heather… you have to win." She whispers to me as I single tear falls from one of her eyes, all I can do is nod not really trusting my voice now.

"Can you sing to me… until I…?" she asks me and I let out a small sob. She knows she's going to die and so do I, but yet she handles it with such a maturity that suddenly she's not 12, she's 18 or more.

"Of course,"

I track in my mind for a song, one that will make her calm but come out empty handed. Anything right now, I'll sing sadly so there's no point in racking my mind for something happy or up-beated.

_I remember tears streaming down your face  
When I said, I'll never let you go  
When all those shadows almost killed your light  
I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone  
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound

My voice breaks in the middle of the song and I can't seem to be able to continue, Rue knows this so she looks at me and tries to smile but only manages a grimace.

"You have a beautiful voice." She whispers and I force myself to continue because I know those are her last words and these will be the last words she hears.

_Don't you dare look out your window darling  
Everything's on fire  
The war outside our door keeps raging on  
Hold on to this lullaby  
Even when the music's gone_

Rue's eyes flutter close and slowly but surely her chest stops moving. The tears stream down my face because I know she's already gone and my voice is a complete wavering mess but I continue for her.

_Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound_

Just close your eyes  
You'll be alright  
Come morning light,  
You and I'll be safe and sound...

I try to control my sobs and when I finally put myself together, I zip her jacket all the way up, hiding the awful stain of blood on her chest and take her backpack that is beside her with my trembling fingers. I get up and walk a few yards away, finding some white flowers, some evening Primroses and even one or two Rues. I put them around her and make it look like she's asleep.

Then I reach for her pack again, and put its contents in mine; I look over Marvel's stuff and, deciding I should be clearing out, I take his pack and the arrow from his neck. I get up and look at the sky, putting the three middle fingers of my blood-stained right hand to my swollen lips and holding them high in the sky for Rue and her family. It means good bye to someone you love, and even though we're in the arena, I loved Rue. She was my only true friend here, besides Gale, the only one who had truly saved me and protected me.

I walk around the woods until I find a really high tree to sleep in and climb up to the very last branch, maybe if I'm high enough I'll be able to imagine I'm back home with Prim, trying to sleep and gazing up at the sky. When night falls, the anthem starts to sound and they show the dead tributes up in the sky: first, the boy from 3, then, Marvel and finally, Rue. Once I see Rue my vision starts to blur and I'm sobbing uncontrollably, every part of my body is racked with sobs and I'm trembling like a leaf. This shouldn't have happened, she didn't deserve to die. She was so young, had all her life before her and they took it from her.

_The Capitol _took it all from her, not _the careers._ _The Capitol_ took everything she had, and threw it away, they took everything we all had by creating this awful game and it doesn't matter how much we try not to be another piece of their games, how hard we try not to let them change us we always end up being used, changed and they always end up winning.

I don't know how long I cry for but when my sobs subside dawn is breaking, I pull my knees towards me and hug my legs burying my face in my knees. _You have to win. _Rue's words go through my head and I stop crying completely, I do have to win, for Prim, for Katniss, for Mom—she won't be the same ever again if I die and Prim and Katniss need her.—for Hazelle—if she'll lose her son at least she has the right to get the other thing she'd like: me back at home.—But also for Rue, she deserves to have her last wish come true and I'll try to do something for her family if I get the chance. _Head held high, Heather._ Cinna's words come to me and I slowly lift my head. Cato wants to take me down, well let him. Let him dare come to me and try to kill me; he'll know what's good then.

I open Marvel's pack to find a flashlight, a first-aid kit, a bottle of water, several knifes and a pack of dried fruit; I put it all in my pack, and then I pour in the contents of Rue's backpack. When there's enough light for me to see correctly, I jump down from my tree and start to walk around and, for the first time ever since I came into the arena, I don't try to hide.

It's hard at first because even the smallest of commands are hard to do and I feel numb—I'm afraid I might end up like mother—but I set fires, walk loudly; don't run when I hear a weird sound or a twig snapping. Strangely neither Clove nor Cato come to find me and I realize the unthinkable has happened: they're actually scared of me. They know what I can do, what I'm willing to do and they're scared of it.

_Where are you Cato? Clove? Come and get me. _I think. _I'm right here._

It's been around three days since Rue's death and I'm running out of food, so I've decided to hunt. Seeing as though I'm hunting, I'm really quiet and careful; my senses are heighten to their maximum, my ears trying to catch everything and nothing at the same time. I try to tune out every unnecessary detail and hear every detail that makes me think there's food nearby. That's why I frown when my ears catch something they shouldn't, because it's not important but I keep listening to the footfalls that are behind me and are so low no one could hear them but me.

I twirl around quickly, bow and arrow ready to kill, when my persecutor throws his hands in the air.

"Woah! Heather, easy! It's just me," Gale says and I lower my bow only to put it in position again.

He had been with the careers and that means I can't trust him blindly anymore…can I? I survey our surrounding, waiting for Clove or Cato to come out any minute now but nothing happens.

"Where's the rest of your crew?" I wonder out loud and he takes a step towards me. I notice how he's very careful not to put much weight in his left ankle.

"I'm not with them anymore; I left after I forced you to run," He lifts an eyebrow and I lower my bow again.

"Is that so?" I frown.

Now that's he's a little bit closer I can see he's been through much worse than I have; he even has two tracker jackers stings in his neck.

"Yes, and because you're alone and I'm alone, why don't we ally?"

Well that was bold and very, very attractive but no thank you. I almost say that to him but wouldn't it be just awkward? So instead I clear my throat and say:

"My last alliance didn't exactly end up well so… sorry but no," I tell him coldly and turn around staring to walk the other way.

"Are you ok?" I feel like I could kill him right now, do I look ok to you, Gale?

"Never been better," I say sarcastically without turning his way.

"Does this have anything to do with what I said in the interview? You've been really cold to me since," He suddenly blurts out and I freeze in my tracks.

I'm emotional and sad and a little scared and I admit I've been trying to erase that interview from my mind but when he says it, I suddenly realize that my anger for him indeed started the day of the interview. Because teaming up with the careers? I know he did for a reason, a useful reason, whether it was so he could drive them off the other tributes or to try to protect me, I don't care.

"Actually…" I take a deep breath in. "yes."

I turn around just in time to see his face darkening, the air around us suddenly gets a little heavier than before and for some reason I know this is it. I'll tell him how I feel and he'll have the chance to turn me down gently but I don't care, I just want him to know because only one is coming out and I don't want him to die without knowing.

"Well… sorry for telling everyone how I really feel," He mutters and I blink for a second.

What? He meant what he said in the interview? He, Gale Hawthorne, loves me? Yeah, right. I know him and I also know he's very good with girls and getting what he wants from them, he's not about to trick me.

"You see that's about it. I don't believe you." I snap.

"Why?"

"You know why." I snort. "Considering the circumstances, I think I don't want to be part of your game."

"What are you talking about? What game?" he says and I roll my eyes.

"You know what I'm talking about, Gale. Stop playing dumb!" I say a little louder than I should and we both shut up, looking around.

Luckily the only people interested in what's going on here is the people of Panem. I can literally feel all the cameras zoomed in this part of the arena.

"I don't want to be just another name in your long list of girls you've been with." I run a hand through my hair and sigh. This is not going as planned.

"Heather…" he starts to say and takes a step forward but I lift my hand.

"I don't want to be that.—or something to brag about with your friends because I actually care and I don't think it'd be fair that you did that. Especially here because, let's face it, only one goes out and I'd like to spend this time honestly and not with you pretending to feel something you—" I start to say but I'm completely cut out by Gale pressing his lips to mine. In the middle of the arena. With the whole of Panem watching us. And I'm kissing back.

"I'd never use you." he whispers, his hands cupping my face. "Because I meant what I said, I love you, Heather."

"I love you, too." I mutter and I can almost hear the entire audience awing at us.

I kiss him again, my bow is in the ground completely forgotten and my hands go around his neck, bringing him closer to me. I don't care about the fact that the entire country is watching us.

"Attention, tributes, attention!" A voice snaps us out of our little bubble and we look up. "There's been a slight change of rules… now two tributes might win the games but only if they're from the same district."

My jaw is hanging open and I can't believe this is really happening, we can both win, and we can go home. I look up to Gale and smile broadly, trying really hard not to jump up and down out of excitement. Haymitch definitely has to have something to do with this; I don't think it's a coincidence that right when we're kissing the game makers decide there should be two winners.

"We can go home." I mutter and he nods.

"We could go home." I put my arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

"I'll be able to see Prim and Katniss again." I laugh as he hugs me back.

I step back and frown, looking down at my hand. My eyes widen when I see it's stained a bright red, as in blood red. I look at Gale's face and at his shoulder then back at him; I reach my other hand to his shoulder and touch it, lifting my hand when he flinches.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter 9:_**

"What happened to you?" I ask studying his face. Only now do I realize that he's actually a little paler than usual.

"I got in a fight with Cato and he cut me. It's nothing to worry about," he shrugs like it's nothing but even that simple action makes him grit his teeth.

"You're bleeding. A lot," I frown as I take his hand and order him to seat. "It is something to worry about."

He sits down and I unzip his jacket making him lift an eyebrow.

"Don't be ridiculous, I need to see your wound and try to heal it. Which means you have to take off your shirt," I roll my eyes and he chuckles but takes off his shirt anyway.

I gasp a little at the sight in front of me, his cut is much worse than I thought. He has a deep long cut that goes from the upper part of his arm all the way to his chest, in some parts like in the upper shoulder and the clavicle I can see to the bone and it's oozing with blood and pus. Also the cut ends dangerously close to his heart. This is not good, not at all.

"That bad, huh?" says Gale. I try to keep my face emotionless because I know he's watching me intently.

"I've seen worse." I assure. What I don't tell him is that those cases usually don't last more than a week and that between worse and him, there's a fine and very fragile line.

"I need to clean it… do you have water?" I ask, not meeting his eyes.

"Not much." He mutters and I sigh. I only have a little bottle of water with me because I was planning on heading to the stream not too far away.

"How do you feel? Do you think you can walk to the stream?" I pause, considering him. "It's not too far away, just a couple of yards."

His face is dirty and he has a cut here and there but that doesn't stop me from noticing his clenched jaw or how incredibly sick he looks, I'm suddenly staring to worry he won't even make it more that two miles.

"I can walk, Heather, I've followed you for a good hour and a half." He tells me and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. He looks like shit and he thinks he can convince me with a simple 'I'm fine'.

"Ok, let's get up." I get up and look down expectantly at him.

He furrows but gets up by himself, not daring to ask for help. I almost laugh out loud at his stubbornness but all amusement vanishes when his face turns even paler once he's on his feet. He puts his shirt on again and I take his hand, leading the way.

The temperature difference between my hand and his is worryingly high, he's burning with fever and I don't know if I have something to make it pass. It takes us around twenty minutes to reach the stream which is an awful lot of time considering it should've been a five minute walk but with his sprained ankle and the blood loss and the fact that he looks like he's going to pass out any minute now and my own injuries—that compared to his are just scratches but that hurt.—we had to walk slowly even if that meant we were a perfect target. I am not worried about that, though.

Cato and Clove are down at the cornucopia which is at least a day's travel from here and I know they're not about to move from that spot, Thresh I haven't see in the entire time we've been here but I know he's at the field where he has food and somewhere to hide, not that he needs to, and Foxface is somewhere around here but I think her plan is to hide, survive and outsmart the others so she only has to kill one person.

Once we're at the stream I make Gale sit down at one of the boulders close to the water and I start to full the bottles with water. He removes his shirt again and examines his wound.

I open the first-aid kit and frown when I see it has pretty basic stuff: some bandages, fever pills, pills to calm headaches or stomachs but nothing strong enough to heal Gale.

"Take these." I hand him over the fever pills and he swallows them without complain.

Well, this is a progress he's usually really stubborn when it comes to sickness and if he's taking pills without looking at them weirdly maybe I'll be able to at least try to heal him without so much trouble.

What do I do now? I know the leaves used to heal tracker jackers sting draw out infection, that could help and I also know I have a few of them in my pack because Rue collected them all the time 'just in case we have an accident.' But I've no idea what to do with the fact that the wound is so deep. I decide to start with the leaves and after a few minutes of pressing them to the worst parts of the cut, pus starts to come out of it and I'm completely grossed out. I hate pus with every little fiber of my body, that's why every time one of my mother's patients has a big infection I step back and let her and Prim do all the work.

"Heather?" he says and I meet his eyes. "You're green."

I burst out laughing because is either that or my breakfast comes up.

"I know, it's just that…" I groan. "I hate pus and I'm not good at this and it's all over my hands and—ew! Ew! Ew!"

He laughs at me and I hit his good shoulder. "Hey! What's that for?" he complains, still laughing.

"You laughed," I pout and then laugh again. "I'm being such a girl right now. Sorry."

He waves it off and I continue to put the leaves in his cut and try to clean the pus off his body and my hands.

"How do you help your mother, then?" he asks after a few minutes. This time I don't look up but focus on the matter at hand.

"I take care of burns or flues and colds, hunger, a sprained ankle or wrist. Some cuts here and there but never infections," I pause as I put the leaves down and start to rinse the pus and blood of the rest of his body with water, carefully trying not to pour direct water into the cut.

"I leave those to Prim. I'm doing such a poor job compare to hers." I admit.

"You're doing better than Katniss." He suggests and I let out a small laugh.

He's 100% right, Katniss wouldn't even help with a small cut. The minute someone was brought up to our house, she'd disappeared and wouldn't come back until I went for her and told her the coast was clear.

"Can you imagine her scowl, right now? She'll kill you for saying that in national television." I add and this time we both laugh a little bit.

I apply a bit of burn ointment in the cut, knowing that it helps with infection and it also calms down the stinging, and then bandage the cut. It looks much better like this but I know it's not perfect and that it won't be perfect. I focus on his ankle but because this is something I'm familiar with, it's wrapped up in a bandage in less than ten minutes; I also take care of the tracker jackers stings and small cuts.

Then I wash his shirt and jacket on the river—there's no way he's putting that in top of his wound—and leave them to dry. When I turn around to tell him to wait for a few minutes, I'm not surprised to find him asleep. Fever does that to a person, so I sit down next to him and wait for the clothes to dry.

"Gale, wake up."

I gently shake him and wait for his eyes to open. It's late afternoon and we've been here for wait too long; by this time even Thresh might know where we are and night's coming, we're an even easier target now.

"We've to go now, it's late." I tell him softly and he nods.

I help him dress and we both get up, this time though, I snake my arm around his waist and put his other arm in my shoulders. He doesn't complain. His face drains out of color at first but it slowly returns after a little bit of walking. After about seventy yards of walking downstream I can see and feel he's about to black out.

I stop walking and make him sit down, he puts his head between his knees and I rub the back of his neck, praying that he won't throw up. My hopes rise when I see that the rocks form caves and that we could use that, at least until he's strong enough to climb or even walk more that just one mile.

"Do you feel better?" I crunch down beside him, he lifts his head and our eyes meet.

And for a second, just a second, we're back home, hunting, without a mayor infection, with Katniss studying back home and just talking; One of those moments when he'd look me in the eye and it'd be just me and him, nobody else. But we're not and unless we go to a save place and I start to pray for Haymitch to send us medicine, those moments won't happen again.

"We're going there," I point with my finger and then run my fingers through his hair. "You can do it, it's not really far."

"All right," He nods and the same procedure happens.

Only this time we don't take as much time, something tells me he walked faster just for my sake because the minute we enter the small cave, he flops down on the floor and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Heather?" he suddenly asks. "You knew I had finished off the girl, how?"

His question stops me from trying to figure out a way to hide the entrance of the cave and I walk to where he's and sit down.

"I was at the tree right above the careers; you almost made me fall off." I say, looking down. We stay quiet for a long time, just listening to the woods or looking around.

Silence is something normal for both of us, at the woods you can't spend a lot of time talking because it scares the animals away; so instead of being soothed by his voice, I was usually calmed down by his breathing or the sound of his heart. Now though, I desperately want him to talk.

"Listen, if I don't make it—" he starts but I interrupt him. This is not what I want him to talk about.

"Don't talk like that."

"But just in case—" he tries to continue.

"no, Gale, I don't want to hear or talk about it." I interrupt again.

"But Heather, let's be realistic here. What if—"he insists but I cut him off by kissing him.

My concern grows when I'm aware of how incredibly hot his lips feel against mine because of the fever; it's been a few hours since he had the pills and his temperature should've dropped at least a little bit by now but he's as hot as he was in the river, maybe even more.

"You won't die on me. You can't do that." I ask as I break away.

"All right." He whispers back.

I get up and walk outside, desperately needing to think of something else but him dying, and I'm surprised to find a little parachute landing in the ground. I walk to it and quickly open it, hoping it's medicine but knowing things aren't that simple, to find a pot of broth. The message couldn't be clearer: you act all lovely dovey and we give you something. One kiss equals food. I wonder what will equal medicine.

_That's a nice kiss. Who thought you'd make such a cute couple? –H._

I can practically feel the sarcasm radiating off the note and hear Haymitch saying 'the boy is dying, you're in love. Give me something to work with, sweetheart! Something more than just an 'I love you!'

I go back inside and say as excitedly as I can. "Look what Haymitch sent you."

Gale looks up and frowns at the pot and I immediately know getting the food inside of him won't be an easy task.

"I'm not hungry," He says as I try for the third time to convince him to eat at least half of it.

"When was the last time you ate?" I ask, lifting an eyebrow.

He remains silent for a few seconds and then says:

"this morning."

"You're lying, now come on, just eat a little bit," I insist and after some fighting, arguing, threatening, begging and kissing I finally get him to eat the full pot.

I let him go to sleep while I take care off myself. I eat some groosling and some roots while I watch the daily report on the sky, no deaths today but I don't have to worry because Gale and I have given the audience a pretty good show and the game makers won't have to spice things up at least for a day or, if we're lucky, two.

I return to where Gale is sleeping inside of the sleeping bag and sit down, taking first watch and the only watch there'll be because there's no way I'm letting him take watch. The temperature starts to drop quickly and soon enough I'm really cold but the minute I'm laying next to Gale in the sleeping bag I sit straight again. The heat radiating from the sleeping bag is no normal heat, it's not naturally warm, it's incredibly hot because it reflects body heat and it's reflecting his fever. I touch his forehead and frown in concern, he still has a fever. What do I do now? It's too hot inside the bag for him but it's too cold outside, I could kill him easily. I end up dampening a piece of bandage and pressing it against his forehead; I feel stupid by doing this because I know there must be thousands of other methods but my mother's not here to tell me if what I'm doing is ok and I'm not risking his life like this.

I spend the entire night sitting next to him, refreshing the bandage, fighting off tears and praying that it'll all work out in the end. When dawn breaks I realize his forehead it's not so hot anymore and that the fever has finally passed but I'm not so naïve as to believe the worse has passed, he still has that infection that could be worse for all I know. I go out and strip some of the berries Rue used to eat all the time and mash them up in the pot with some cold water; when I come into the cave again I'm surprised to see Gale's sitting and trying to get up.

"what exactly are you doing?" I scowl as I make him sit down.

"I woke up and you weren't here, I was worried." He furrows and I burst out laughing.

"You were worried about me? Out of the two of us, I'm the only one who is relatively healthy and you were worried." I shake my head, he's unbelievable.

"Cato and Clove hunt at night." He states seriously and I stop laughing.

He doesn't know the careers won't come near me unless it's strictly necessary, he doesn't know I want them to find me so I can take Cato down and maybe even take care of Clove if needed. He still thinks I'm innocent, he still thinks I'm scared.

"She's still alive?" he tells me and I roll my eyes.

"Unfortunately, yes," I touch his forehead and am a little relieved to find it a little cooler than when I left. "There's just them and Thresh and us and foxface. She's the girl from five."

I reach out to touch his cheek and am totally surprised when he takes my hand and brings it to his lips. Something my dad did to my mother on a daily basis, something I adored, something two or three boys had done to me but none of them had made me feel the way Gale does by doing it.

"You've to eat," I murmur and hand him the pot with the smashed berries, he looks at them suspiciously. "They taste exactly like the ones we have back home, now eat."

He eats them and then drinks some water but refuses to eat the groosling. I feel like smacking him in the back of his head; doesn't he know that if he doesn't eat he'll die? Then I steel myself to what's waiting under the bandage and remove it. My heart, which was beating quickly before, drops and I close my eyes.

To say the cut is worse, it's the understatement of the century. The swelling has increased but that's not what truly makes me feel like I'm going to be sick. No, what does, are the red streaks around the cut: blood poisoning. The little medicine I have with me won't make any kind of improvement; it won't even slow down the process. Unless we get some Capitol medicine, which is impossible because this far on the games everything is incredibly expensive, he will die. And I don't think I'm strong enough to sing him to death like I did to Rue.

"Well, at least there's no pus." I say but my voice cracks at the end, giving me away.

"I've know your mother long enough to know what blood poisoning is, Heather." He tells me softly.

"There are only six of us left; you just have to outlast them."

My voice creaks at the end and I close my eyes, trying to control my quivering chin. Everything's silent as I bandage him again and then we just stare at each other, not moving or making a sound.

"Did you sleep at all?" he asks and I run a hand through my hair.

"Not at all."

I suddenly realize how tired I actually am. Before Gale found me, I wasn't sleeping much because I was depressed and yesterday I didn't even close my eyes for a few minutes.

"You have to sleep," He tells me but I shake my head.

"Yes, come here; I'll wake you if anything happens." He pushes me towards him so I end up lying next to him and puts an arm around me, making me rest my head against his good shoulder. Well, this feels good.

"You will wake me up, right?" I ask and see him nod.

"All right, in that case I guess I could sleep for an hour…" my eyelids start to get heavy and I fight a yawn. "…or maybe two…but that's it."

"Go to sleep." He orders as he places a kiss on the top of my head and starts to play with my hair.

I wake up to find myself in the same position and immediately know I've slept too long, it's already late afternoon. Somehow, though, I'm not that mad because it had been a very long time since I had slept this good, with no nightmares or without fear of being found and killed in my sleep.

"You promised to wake me." I frown.

"You looked tired, I was just paying you back." Gale says back and I roll my eyes.

Paying me back, of course he was; he and I are very similar in that department and so is Katniss, somehow I think it comes with being poor, we do not like owing someone. It doesn't matter if that someone is our mother or friend, we have to pay them back someway or another.

"You don't have to pay me anything."I say as I kiss him softly and then touch his forehead. Hot as a stove.

"You have to eat and this time, please, don't refuse it," I tell him as I get up and grab the pot; thinking a little bit of soup would be a good idea.

"Don't light up a fire, it'll lure them in." he calls after me and I stop.

"I'm not afraid of them," I say back and with that I walk out of the cave.

I'm overwhelmed with how hot it is outside. Now I'm sure the game makers are playing with the temperature, making it incredibly hot in the day and almost unbearably cold at night. As I survey the rocks near the lake I realize I won't really need a fire; I put some purified water in the pot and some small rocks that are hot because of the sun, and then add little strands of groosling and roots. I leave the pot where the sun reaches it and leave it there to warm.

I sit down and start to wonder how the others are doing. Clove and Cato must be having a rough time, seeing as though I blew up their food resource but the other two, I've no idea. Maybe one of them have located us all ready, maybe they're lurking in the shadows waiting for the right time to pounce. That thought alone makes me go back to the cave.

When I reach it, I find Gale sitting looking at nothing in particular and immediately know he feels useless.

"The soup should be ready in a little bit and I didn't light up any fire," I tell him as I sit in front of him, Indian style.

"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to tell me honestly." He says and I lift an eyebrow.

"well, you've been asking a lot of questions lately, what do you want to know?"

He runs a hand through his hair and says:

"What else do I not know about you?"

Well, that's awkward. I drop my gaze to my lap and sigh, what does he not know about me? I think playing the piano was about it. I tell him everything; he's usually the first person I tell something. But, wait, there's something I've never told him. Something I've never wanted him to know.

"Ok… don't be mad but when I was fifteen and for about 10 months, I—I dated Harry." I look up and try to read his expression but to no avail.

"Harry? My friend Harry?" I simply nod.

Harry is Gale's best friend and so is Thom, that's why I never ever told him about Harry and also made Harry promise he wouldn't tell Gale. He would've been mad, really mad. One day, I told him how incredibly cute I found Peeta Mellark's crush on Katniss. Gale went on and on for hours about how Katniss was only 13 and she couldn't have a boyfriend and that if that idiot hurt her he'd deal with him. I had to remind him Katniss wasn't really his sister.

"Wait a minute; you are the mysterious girl Harry was completely in love with but that he wouldn't introduce us to? This is unbelievable. That son of a—"

"Gale Hawthorne!" I point a finger at him and he shuts up, only to start again.

"You don't get it, Heather, I told them you were off limits and he went after _you_," he shakes his head. "Of all the girls from the district, he chooses you."

"I don't see the problem in that. Why couldn't I be with Harry but you could be with anything that wears a skirt?" I pause. Well, that wasn't nice at all.

A fight between lovers isn't exactly what Haymitch asked for but somehow I can feel all the cameras zoomed in us and the audience watching eagerly.

"Exactly, I behaved that way meaning I know how they are; I didn't want you to get hurt, don't want you to, so I told them you were a definite no." that shuts me up completely.

"If anyone got hurt, it was him so you have nothing to worry about."

And it's true; Harry was in love with me, he treated me like a princess and he made sure I was happy but I broke his heart by breaking things off. I didn't love him anymore; I don't even know if I ever did because who knows what love is at age 15 or 16? And, besides, there was somebody else in the picture: Gale Hawthorne.

I started to like Gale when I was around 15 years old but totally dismissed the signals because there was no way in hell I was falling for my best friend and then Harry appeared and made my little crush in Gale disappear. But after the birthday thing happened and I got jealous, I sat down one day and deeply thought about my feelings coming to the realization that my little innocent crush on one Gale Hawthorne wasn't going anywhere and that it also wasn't so little anymore. Hence I broke up with Harry.

He's about to open his mouth when the trumpets start to sound, making us both look up.

"Attention, tributes, attention. There'll be a feast tomorrow at the cornucopia at dawn," The voice says but I wave it off. We're not hungry; I've got food and rope so I can make snares.

"Now, now, I know most of you are already dismissing my offer, but what you don't know is that this is no normal feast. No, each one of you needs something desperately and we're planning on giving it to you. There will be a backpack with your district number at the cornucopia with the thing you need."

This perks my attention and I listen intently, there is something I need desperately: Gale's medicine. But going means danger, it's one of the ways the game makers use to bring up a fight between tributes and sometimes the feast is even the great finale.

"Think hard before refusing, because for some of you this will be your last chance."

That's all there is, the words are left in the air and I frown. Yes, this is the last chance for us; he's dying, there's no denying it, and his only chance is that backpack.

"No, you're not risking your life for me."

I jump when he speaks.

"What are you talking about? I'm not going to go, I'm not that stupid." I lie.

"You can't lie, Heather. And you're not going, I'll follow you." he says and I laugh humorlessly.

"You won't be able to walk a hundred yards, not with that wound, not with that fever and definitely not with that infection."

He puts his hands in my shoulders, so I have to face him, and says:  
"Then I'll follow and die anyway."

He knows he's got me there, he knows I won't let him and I'm a little surprised at how good he played me.

"What am I supposed to do? Sit here and watch you die? Sing you to your death like I did Rue? I'm sorry but I can't do that." my voice breaks at the end.

I'd hate myself if I didn't do anything to save him. If I knew that the only thing that could save him was only four hours away and that yet I hadn't done anything to go for it, I'd hate myself. The district would hate me and the audience would too.

"You won't have to do any of that because I won't die, I promise." His face softens a bit and he kisses my forehead.

"I'll go check on the soup." I mutter as I get up and quickly leave the cave.

I have to do something, because I might have told him I'm not going but that doesn't mean I was telling the truth. I have to go, there must be a way. Maybe I can wait until he goes to sleep and sneak out but then he'll wake up and discover I went to the cornucopia. What can I do? I find that the soup is ready so take it back with me and give it to Gale.

"Eat every bit of it; I don't care how bad it tastes." I mutter and take my bow and arrows.

"I'm going hunting. It'll be just for a few minutes, don't move," I tell him as he eyes me suspiciously but lets me go.

The truth is, I'm not going hunting. I just need to get out of there, I need to think. I run a hand through my messy blonde hair as I start to hyperventilate, the tears I've been holding back finally leaking. I'm soon sobbing, pressing a hand to my mouth so he won't be able to hear me. He's going to die and I can't bear the idea of losing him, of having to live without him. I'm so lost in thought I almost miss the little silver parachute flying above me; I reach out and take it wondering what it could be. It's not like Haymitch has gotten the medicine right? Inside it's a little vial with some liquid.

I open the lid and sniff it; completely grossed out at how incredibly sweet it smells then I put a little bit in my finger and lick it off. Yes, this isn't medicine. This is sleep syrup, a common medicine back at 12; my mother gives it to the patients who are in too much pain so they can go through the night. Only a little bit is needed to send you to sleep for a few hours, even more so if the patient is already tired. Here's enough to send Gale to sleep for a complete day.

I smirk, a full day? That gives me more than enough time to go to the cornucopia and retrieve the medicine. I mash up some berries and add some mint leaves so the taste of the syrup won't be noticeable. Gale has had sleep syrup before, almost everyone at 12 has had at least once and I don't want him to discover me.

"Are you done with the soup?" I ask innocently as I go back inside.

"Yeah, did you hunt something?"

I shake my head. "But I found something else." I show him the berries with the syrup.

"More berries?"

I sit down next to him and give him a spoonful of the thing.

"They're really sweet; my mom gives them to me when I'm sick. She says the sugar makes you feel better." I easily lie and feed him another spoon and another right again.

"They really are sweet." He says, starting to think. "What kind of berries are they?"

"Sugar berries.—well, not really but mom calls them that and I can never seem to remember the real name." I say as I give him another spoonful. Just two more to go.

"Sugar berries…" he mutters as I give him the last two. "They taste like syrup. Syrup!"

His eyes widen as he figures out what I've done and before he can force himself to throw up I put my hands over his nose and mouth forcing him to swallow.

Before he goes to sleep I know that what I've done is unforgivable.

"Who can't lie?" I ask even though he can't hear me but it's ok because the rest of the country has and maybe they'll finally know what I'm capable of doing to stay alive and to keep those I love alive as well.

**_A/N: SO I'M FREAKING OUT AND RECENTLY DISCOVERED THAT EDITING ALREADY WRITTEN CHAPTERS IS A GREAT STRESS RELEASER SOOOO HERE'S CHAPTER 9. SORRY FOR THE YELLING BUT I'M CLOSE TO TEARS HERE PEOPLEEE, _**

**_btw, I love you all,_**

**_xoxo,_**

**_me._**


	11. Chapter 11

_**so, I'm sorry for yet again another author's note but I wanted to thank all of you for favoriting and reviewing and following this story. I published last chapter yesterday right beofre recieving the worst news ever. seriously guys, you have no idea how sad and dissapointed and hopeless I was, still am, yesterday and all the emails telling me you favorited/reviewed/followed this story truly cheered me up. it made me feel a little bit important, like I actually mattered and things could get better(silly, I know.) Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all and tell you I love you and that I love all of your reviews. now enjoy this chapter, IT'S THE FEAST!, xoxox, me. **_

_**P.S. if any of you have family over at Boston or are at Boston, stay strong, I'm praying for you. **_

**_Chapter 10:_**

The trip to the cornucopia took me a little longer than intended but I made it in time to see how a table lifted itself from the ground. In the table are the four backpacks and I've got my sight set on the little orange one with 12 inked in. I start to walk to where the cornucopia is when out of nowhere a flash of red moves to my right and I freeze; foxface is running as fast as she can to the table, grabbing her backpack and running off into the distance before I could blink or send an arrow her way. Dammit! She's done what I should've, and now Cato and Thresh will know I'm somewhere in the woods hiding and that I'm not as fast as they think. I don't loose any more time and sprint to the table, taking my little backpack and slipping my wrist between the straps. I feel the danger before it comes and crunch down as the first knife whizzes in on my right side. _Clove._

I turn around as fast as I can, bow ready and send an arrow straight to her heart; she moves so it won't make a fatal hit but the arrow punctures her upper left arm and that's enough to slow her down. She yanks the arrow from her arm and reaches for another knife as I start to position another arrow. Unfortunately, she's a little faster than I am and her knife is already coming my way by the time I lift my head.

I move so it won't kill me but it catches my forehead slicing above my right eyebrow and making blood come out in great amounts. It runs down my face but that doesn't stop me from sending the arrow flying. I know it'll miss, though.

Clove is launching to where I am and before I know it, I'm on the ground with her above me and my bow is too far away for me to catch it. That doesn't mean I won't defend myself, I send a punch her way, hitting her hard on the nose and making her fall back. Soon enough, we're having what it's popularly known as a cat fight; only this time it's for real. She throws punches my way, I bite her hand, she yanks at my hair and I scratch her face but at the end, we're back at the beginning with her pinning me to the ground and with her knees in my shoulders so I won't hit her again.

I'm glad to see that I got her pretty bad, her nose is definitely broken, her eyebrow is bleeding and she has scratches everywhere.

"Where's your boyfriend, 12?" she asks.

Well, if we're talking then I might be able to distract her long enough for me to reach my bow. It'd be within my reach if I could move my shoulders and then I'd be able to hit her in the head and knock her out.

"He's hunting Cato down, didn't appreciate what he did to him or me." I hiss at her and start to yell. "Gale! Gale!" she slaps me so hard I shut up immediately.

Her head goes up and she starts to look around frantically, allowing me to move my arm just a little bit so I'm closer to the bow. A little bit more and I'll wrap my fingers around it and…

"Liar." She says. "Cato cut him bad. You're probably trying as hard as you can to keep his heart going—is his medicine here? Such a shame he'll never get it."

She opens her jacket to reveal a long line of knifes. She selects one with a curved blade. "Cato said I could have you, as long as I gave the audience a good show."

I can feel the blood from my gash getting in my hair but, ignoring it, I start to move a little more to the bow.

"We're going to kill you, just like we did your little and pathetic ally." This stops me from moving and I look up at her with hate.

"What was her name again? Rue? Well, we killed her and now we'll kill you and let nature take care of him." She drops her head to the side like an animal. "Now, where do we start?"

"You know, everyone thinks your lips are so pretty… I wonder what they'll think about them once I'm done with you." she snarls and I roll my eyes.

I was right after all; Clove is going to kill me because I am prettier than her. Isn't this my luck? If Cato was the one here, sure I'd suffer, but he wouldn't kill me because people thought I had a prettier shade of blonde. And this is how I die, well in that case I won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry, the satisfaction of hearing me cry out in pain and I won't close my eyes. I hate her, so I will die while staring her down and making sure she knows how much I hate her.

"Wanna blow lover boy one last kiss?" she purrs and I spit at her with rage. "Fine by me then, let's get this over with."

I prepare myself for the pain that's sure to come but right as her knife's staring to cut my lower lip, Clove is lifted from above me by a greater force and she's screaming. I push myself up with my elbows and I'm terrified to find Thresh above me, grabbing Clove by her shirt like a doll and looking twice the size he looked back in the capitol. He throws Clove into the ground carelessly and starts shouting, making me jump.

"What did you do to the little girl? You killed her, uh?"

Clove is on her fours, crawling away from him and is so terrified that she can't even call out for Cato. "No, no, it wasn't me. "

"You said her name! You killed her!" he's blinded by rage and I'm too shocked to move for my bow.

"No, no! I swear, I—"Clove's eyes wander to the big stone in Thresh's hand and that's what it takes for her to lose it.

"Cato! Cato, please, Cato!" She screeches.

"Clove! I'm coming, Clove!" I hear Cato but he's too far for Clove. She'll be dead before he's here.

Thresh collides the stone hard against Clove's forehead and even though there's no blood, I can see the deep dent in her skull and know she has no hope. The little life that's in her is slowly but surely escaping through the moans she makes or her quick breathing. His focus goes to me and he raises the stone again, making me widen my eyes.

"You and Rue, was it true?" he asks me harshly.

"Ye—yes, I teamed up with her, we blew up the food and I tried to save her but he got there first." I stutter.

"Did you kill him?"

"Yes, and then I buried her with flowers, sang to her until she died." My voice cracks and my eyes sting with tears. He blinks down at me and lowers the stone.

"I'll let you go, but now we're even. You hear me?" he demands and I nod.

"Clove!"Cato yells and I know he's close enough to see her now so I get up as fast as I can, blinking through the black spots that fill my sight, grabbing my bow and getting out of there.

When I turn around I find Cato cradling Clove and begging her to stay with him but I know she's already gone. Turning away from the sad sight I start to run back to the cave, using some of the trees as support when I get too dizzy.

Somehow I make it back and the moment I do, I rip open the bag and pour out their contents: some new bandages, some little pot with something weird inside and a hypodermic needle.

I take the needle, jam it into Gale's arm and press the plunger; I drop the needle to the side and my hands go up to my head, when I bring them to my eyes they're full of thick warm blood. I pass out.

I wake up to the sound of rain outside and frown. Where am I? I can't be home, it's too cold and it's not usually cold by this time of the year. But it's raining; maybe that's what makes it so cold. I'm barely aware of the pain in my head and come to the conclusion that that might be it, maybe I'm sick and that's why mom's letting me in.

"Heather, can you hear me?" a voice says. That's not my mother, but I've hear it before so many times.

"Gale?" my eyes flutter open and I scrunch up my nose at the unmistakable smell of blood in the air. All the memories of yesterday's events come rushing back to me and I realize that the blood must be mine.

"Hi, I was starting to worry." He says softly.

"How long was I out for?" I blink a few times until my vision goes to normal.

"I don't know, I woke up yesterday evening and you were out in a pool of blood. Almost gave me a heart attack." He explains and studies my forehead. "It's stopped bleeding but don't move too much."

It looks like the parts have been reversed and now he's the one nursing me back to health; I can't say I don't like the attention. He holds a bottle to my lips and I drink eagerly; I do so slowly because even the smallest of movements gets me dizzy again.

"You look better." I say and he nods.

"The thing you shot into me worked pretty well, by this morning the swelling was gone and there's no more blood poisoning." He adds and I eye him suspiciously but let it go. He does look better and besides I don't think there's much time left in the games.

"Did you eat?" I ask again.

"Yes, I hunted before it started raining so we'll have food for another day." He sits down next to me and I search for his hand. "Let me take care of you for a while, ok? Then you can hunt and be all you again." I smile softly and nod.

He feeds me some groosling and what I think it's a squirrel and makes me lay down again; outside thunder crushes and there's a lot of lightning.

"The storm must be to take down Cato." Gale mutters.

"And Thresh. Foxface is hiding and well, Clove is…" my voice trails and my fingers instinctively go to my lips. My lower lip has a little cut and feels swollen but it's not something to really worry about.

"Dead, I know. Was it you?" he asks me.

"No, she almost got me but Thresh killed her and let me go for Rue."

Then I start telling him everything since the tracker jackers incident until he found me. He had been too sick for me to tell him all that but now he isn't and he deserves to know.

"Well, then let's hope Cato kills him quickly and we only have to deal with him and foxface." He comments darkly.

"I think we'd like Thresh… he's a lot like us, in a way." I say thinking.

I don't want Thresh to die; I don't want anyone to die. I just want to go home; I want them all to go home. I've been acting tough since day one and now my walls are starting to crumble and I will start to cry if I don't think of something else but somehow that's all I can think about.

"What's wrong?" he asks, touching my cheek.

"I want to go home. I wanna go home and see Katniss, Prim and Faith and…" I shake my head slightly, trying hard not to cry.

"We will, soon." He says.

"No, I want to go home now." I sniff and he hugs me. I nod off in his arms, tiredness and sadness consuming me.

When I wake up again, it's raining strongly. I'm starving so Gale and I eat the rest of the food that we have and some water in a matter of minutes; we should save some but the groosling was starting to be old and there was only a squirrel left so we decided to eat it all. We'll find food later.

As the evening passes we don't do much but sit silently next to each other while I play with his hand or just listen to the rain coming down.

"What would we have to do to get Haymitch to give us some bread?" Gale says but not because he actually wants to know but because I think he's too sick of silence. I don't tell him about how one kiss equals food because I know he's smart enough to get it so instead I reach for his hand again and entwine my fingers in his.

"Well, he probably used a lot to help me knock you out." I shrug.

"Don't you ever do something like that again." He tells me seriously.

"Or what?" I defy him. He starts to think and meets my eyes.

"We're both alive so in a way you got what you wanted but—don't do it, die for Me. I won't let you." he's angry. I can see it in the way his eyes are a little darker or how he tightens his grip in my hand.

"Don't you get it at all? Maybe I did it for me. I also worry about what it'd be like if you died, what it'd be like back home if you simply weren't there anymore for me."

my voice, which was raised at the beginning, is now fragile and I can feel the tears in my eyes again but I blink them back. I'm done with crying.

"What it'd be like if I…" I sigh and close my eyes.

This is going nowhere; I don't like people knowing about me and right now all of Panem is going to find out how much I truly love this boy. This is personal, they shouldn't know.

"If what, Heather?" he asks as he puts a strand of my tangled hair behind my ear and presses his forehead against mine. I try not to say it but it's almost like I can hear Haymitch hissing at me: _say it, say it, now._

"If I lost you." I whisper.

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing I'm not going anywhere." He whispers back and leans in.

I meet him halfway and as our lips touch I realize this is the first time we kiss with both of us completely aware of it. Without a fever or coldness or without it being an act just to shut me up. It's the first kiss that makes me feel warmed and loved.

But it doesn't last much because we hear something outside and immediately break apart; I go for my bow and position it. Gale goes outside and comes in with a little surprise: a basket attached to a silver parachute.

I open it to find it full of food. Fruit, stew with rice, cheese, fresh rolls and the green apple pie I told Caesar Flickerman was my favorite.

"I guess Haymitch decided to be a little generous and sent us food," He lifts an eyebrow and I know he got it. He finally knows how Haymitch works, the thing is does he think I'm doing all this just for the food or does he know I'm doing it because I really do feel this way?

"I guess so." I shake my head a little and look him in the eyes trying to tell him what I can't say at loud with one look.

How this is Haymitch way of working, how it's got nothing to do with me, how I didn't know he'd do it this way until he let me know; he gets the message and sits down next to me looking at all the food with a frown in his face. In my head all I can hear is Haymitch's voice saying 'that's exactly what I wanted, _sweetheart_! Took you long enough.'

The rest few days we spend trying to do something to entertain us as the storm passes, we don't get hungry again, Haymitch's last present has lasted more than it should have, and sometimes we talk but as the time passes we get more and more bored. My wound sometimes still bleeds and I have to be extremely careful not to move my head too quickly or look down for longer than I should.

"Since when?" I suddenly ask one day when the not doing anything finally got the best of me and I've to do something even if it's only talking.

"Since when what?" Gale asks back.

"Since when have you liked me? In the interview you said you'd liked me for a while. When?" I ask more specifically.

"Oh, you mean love you." he jokes and nudges my shoulder making me laugh.

"A changed man," I gasp dramatically because he's usually not one to joke if he knows they're watching but maybe he's just acting like it's just him and me. "But really, tell me I want to know."

And like that he's back to normal. "I'll tell you if you tell me."

I shrug agreeing and look at him expectantly. "you were about to turn sixteen, I think, when I actually started to think how pretty you actually were and, apparently that was also the year all the others boys started to realize that too." He pauses.

"You mean that was the time you realized they knew." I add, a smile playing on my lips.

"Right, that winter all the boys were after you; taking you to class in school and things like that—I think one even try to kiss you under the mistletoe and that's when I realized that I minded." He rolls his eyes and I laugh a bit at the memory.

"You ignored them all, though and now a year later I learn it was because you were with my best friend. How twisted is that?" he finishes.

Outside I realize that the storm has turned into a not so strong rain and that maybe it will finally stop raining today.

"I'm sorry to inform you mine is a little bit like it. I mean it's not some tragic story about how heartbroken I was for years because you didn't pay attention so…"

I'm truly surprised over the fact that he liked me when I was almost sixteen, the exact same time I started to like him.

"I still want to hear it." He puts an arm around me and I sigh.

"Fine." I groan.

So I resume to tell him the whole birthday story and how jealous I was; I tell him how the thought always nagged me at the back of my mind, how ordinary I started to find Harry—who a few weeks after that was pretty much everything I wanted.—and how, after sitting down to think, I'd decided I wanted _him._

"So I broke up with him and the rest of my 'love life' you know." I say.

I wouldn't really call it 'love life' at all; before Harry there was another boy but after Harry, seeing as though I wanted what I couldn't have, I only had a date here and there but nothing too serious, two or three one-nightstands.

"Yeah… you haven't dated Thom as well, have you?" he asks and I smile.

"Nop—and I don't plan on doing it." I say as I fake a shudder and he laughs.

"If we go home, we'd live in the victor's village." He says after a while. "That'd be a huge change."

The victors have a special place in the district called the victor's village. It's full with beautiful houses for those who win but only one is occupied: Haymitch's. If we win, which I hope we do, we'd move there. Each one of us would have a house of their own; that'd be a great change seeing as though we're used to sharing a small house with a lot of people.

"Yeah… and our only neighbor would be Haymitch." I realize.

"Wouldn't you love that? You, me and Haymitch having diners over just like good neighbors do, drinking tea when it's cold and sharing old stories." He says with full sarcasm. "I'd pay to see that."

"I've come to the conclusion that he hates me." I say as the image of Haymitch doing all that comes to mind and makes me laugh a bit.

"Nah, when he's sober he never says something bad about you." he tells me.

"Gale?" I pause until I have his attention. "He's never sober!"

"Right, the one who likes you, is Cinna. But that's probably because he's never seen you mad." He nods and I hit his arm.

"Not fair!" I pout.

"I'm kidding, Heather." He pecks my lips and I smile.

"I don't think interacting with people in general is Haymitch's thing, so it's probably not personal." He shrugs and we both laugh a little.

Somehow I can imagine the audience of the capitol liking our making fun of Haymitch, he's been around for a long time and he's friends with most of them. The media team is probably interviewing him right now about something like my temper or something.

I think is funny how much I say I hate Haymitch but yet, we seem to communicate perfectly. Since day one, I've been able to tell what he wants me to do, how far more I have to push to get to what I want without him really telling me. He's chosen to communicate with me and not with Gale, not because I'm his favorite or because he doesn't want to help Gale, but because I'm the one who understands him. Maybe we're more alike that I want to let on.

We both remain silent, thinking about our previous conversation, when I hear the anthem start to play. I get up and walk outside so I can see the sky but don't walk out too much so I won't get wet. The rain's almost over by now so I can clearly see the sky and my heart misses a beat as I see Thresh's face in the sky signalizing his death, Foxface is also there which surprises me because I always thought she'd die last. He's dead, finally dead. I should be happy but I'm not, he let me go and now he's dead.

"Gale." I say, trying to hide my shock as I walk outside and sit down not caring about the little rain anymore.

"What is it?" he says, still inside the cave.

"Thresh's dead." My voice wavers a bit and I start to hyperventilate. He saved me, he forgave my life and now he's dead. I would not be here if it weren't for him. "Foxface is too."

I feel a hand in my shoulder and close my eyes, regaining my composure. What sponsor would want to help a girl who keeps weeping about her opponents' death? None and I need those sponsors, we both do.

"It's just that if we didn't… I wanted him to…" I fumble with my words and sigh. He's right; I'm not good at lying at all.

"I know." He tells me. "Why don't we eat?" he offers me his hand and I take it silently as I walk inside again.

While we have what's our last portion of the food Haymitch sent us, we don't speak at all. Then he offers to take first watch and I agree, needing to be alone and desperately wanting this day to be over with. The last thing I remember before nodding off is a single betraying tear sliding down my cheek.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Chapter 11:_**

The next morning we both wake up early, deciding today's the day we go out to hunt. Whether it's animal hunting or Cato hunting none dares to define. The minute we step out of the cave it's like we're in a complete different arena, it is incredibly hot and the stream is dried, not a drop of water. I immediately know the finale is close, this is their way of driving the three of us together; they want the games to end. Now. We walk without a word to the lake; we're in hunting mode and nothing will makes us break the silence especially when I feel like everything is ten times more dangerous and threatening. After a half hour walk, I see a little bush with berries. No common berries, though; they're nightlocks, incredibly poisonous berries. They'll kill you before they reach your stomach.

I silently walk over to the bush and take two handfuls, putting them in my jacket's pocket.

"What are you doing? That's deadly," Gale scolds and I roll my eyes.

"I know, you know, but _Cato_ doesn't," I explain and keep walking.

Cato 'accidently' taking those berries would be the best way to kill him off, he wouldn't be able to throw a knife our way because he'd be eating some 'innocent' berries and it'd also be the less bloody dead, too. We keep walking until we reach the lake by the cornucopia, the only place where there's water. We're both at edge, knowing Cato is here somewhere as well. I position my arrow and wait with my eyes closed_. It's fine, Heather, just imagine your looking for deer. _

Suddenly a snap of a twig not too far away makes my eyes fly open and turn around. The sound was so small I could've missed it if it weren't because I was paying attention. There's nothing around me except for Gale and I start thinking I must have imagined it when Cato comes running at us with a spear in hand and ready to send it flying. I send the arrow aiming at his heart, one shot, one simple shot and he's gone. None of us move as he sends the spear as well, why should we? He's going to die and that spear won't even reach any of us. But the arrow hits his chest and is sent back, falling to the ground.

"What on earth…?" I mumble, furrowing.

In that moment the spear passes through my right, barely missing my head, and hits Gale in the shoulder. Well, too much for getting healed. I prepare another arrow and study Cato carefully, he's stop a few miles from us while he looks for a knife and I'm struck with the fact that he doesn't even try to protect himself. It's like he knows anything we do won't hurt him. I put a hand above my eyes so I can see better. That's when I see it, the invisible armor he has. The one that made my arrow change direction; it's almost unnoticeable but there's a little difference between his neck and his chin where the armor must end. Meaning his head is unprotected.

Cato lifts his head as well as his hand, ready to kill. I don't lose any time and send the arrow flying straight to his head, I watch as it goes right between his eyes and pierces his skull. The cannon goes off. He's dead, Cato is finally dead and I killed him.

"Are you all right?" I ask as I turn away from the sight and see Gale yanking the spear out, making blood come out.

"Fine." He grumbles and looks around. "What do you think they're waiting for?"

I look around too, expecting the hovercraft to appear and take Cato but nothing happens. We're a good forty feet away from him that should be far enough for them to get him; I start to get nervous when the hovercraft appears and takes his body. We patiently wait for them to announce we've made it, that we won but nothing happens.

"Hea—"he starts but I lift a hand to silence him.

The wheels in my head are twirling and I don't like what they're telling me. What if we haven't won yet? What if there's some tribute left? I count the tributes in my head and shake my head slightly. No, there's no one left just us. Just two of us left. That thought makes me halt, there's two of us and the original games only accept one… but they changed the rules, right? It's not like we're still in the games, or are we? There's never ever been a change of the rules, majorly because the games have no rules so what if…?

My head twirls around to meet Gale's gaze at the same time he looks towards me and I know he's thinking the same thing. That they were putting it too easy; that there's no way we could win, that this was a sick trick, another form of entertainment.

"Attention, remaining tributes!" a voice is heard and I know I'm right. Why can't I be wrong for once? Just once? "The earlier revision has been revoked. We've studied the rule book and only one winner can be allowed." There's a pause, like he's making sure he's got our attention.

"Rule book… there's no rule book!" I exclaim as I throw my hands in the air.

"Good luck and—"

"May the odds be ever in your favor, yeah, yeah, I know," Gale and I finish at the same time, not caring if by doing that we've angered the capitol. We look at each other and I sigh, I can't do it, there's no way I could kill him.

"We should've known," He says gently and I shake my head, fighting tears.

We should've known, but at the moment it seemed so perfect, so right, so fairytale like. But it was all a trap and I bought it like a fool.

"You do it," He says, taking his knife and shoving it to the ground. "I'm not killing you."

"I can't," I look up at the sky. "I won't."

"No, Heather, you do it," He takes an arrow and puts it in my hand. "I'd rather you killed me than them sending some mutts to kill one of us off."

"Well, in that case you kill me, why won't you?" I hiss, giving him the arrow and bow. "You kill me and go home. Go ahead."

"Listen, they've to have a victor. You know I can't kill you," he tells me, grabbing my shoulders, and then kisses me softly.

He keeps talking about how he'll always love me, that it doesn't matter, that he's willing to die so I can live but I don't really listen. Something he said caught my attention. _They've to have a victor._ What if they don't? Why should we give them the pleasure to do it? They took everything from us, our safety, our happiness, even our right to be well fed and healthy, our right to have freedom. And now they're trying to take the man I love away from me. There's no way I'm giving them what they want, not anymore. They want a victor and I will give them none. I'll die, yes, but I'll die as the girl who dared to defy The Capitol in their own scheme and maybe people will take me as an example. Other tributes, perhaps, will try to defy the capitol too and, in that way, maybe they'll bring the Capitol down, finally.

I reach for my pocket and take the nightlocks, Gale stops talking immediately. I put some of them in his hand and the others in mine.

"You're not eating those," He says, trying to take them from my hand.

"No, I'm not. We both are," I explain as I open my palm so the cameras can see clearly.

Then another thought strikes me. If they thought we were to die… maybe they'd try to stop us and that way none of us would've to die… because they _do_ need a victor.

"On three?"

"On three," He nods and we take a deep breath. "One…"

"Two…"

Maybe they don't care. Maybe this is what they wanted all along, all of the tributes dead. That way they wouldn't have to deal with lousy victors.

"Three." I say and we both lift our hands to our mouths. Just when we're about to put them in our mouth a voice is heard.

"Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentleman, I give you your victors Heather Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne!"

I immediately put my hand down and wipe at my mouth, making sure no juice got my lips and watch as Gale does the same. The minute he looks at me, I throw myself at him.

"You didn't swallow any?" he asks me, stroking my hair.

"None. You?" he shakes his head in response. "You're pale and loosing blood," _again_, I add in my head but he simply shrugs.

The hovercraft materializes above us and sends down two ladders but I'm not letting go of him so we only use one. When we reach the hovercraft Gale immediately passes out like he was waiting to be here and make sure we had actually won before finally giving out to the blood loss; the doctors take him but I can't see what they're doing to him because a glassed tube encircles me and the only thing I can see is my reflect.

Ghostly white skin, tangled messy blonde hair and wild blue eyes. I look feral, I look dangerous but most important, I look mad. No wonder anybody has stepped close to me. Suddenly I see something move behind me and I move quickly trying to hurt whoever it is. They're surely trying to kill me for doing something wrong, because they truly can only have one winner and they've chosen Gale. I'm about to scream when the needle jabs my neck and all goes black.

**A/N: you guys, lousiest and shortest chapter ever. sorry, but i'd like to thank all of those who review and for reading, thank you. i love you all, **

**xoxo,**

**me.**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Chapter 12:_**

The first time I wake up, I don't meet anyone and not even five minutes pass before I'm out again; the second time, I awake to find the red headed avox that took care of me, with a tray of food. She helps me sit and starts to feed me with a spoon, there's only some broth and juice in the tray, nothing more but even this I find hard to eat. My stomach feels ten times smaller than before and it's all I can do not to throw up.

She then lays me down again and adjusts my pillows and I take this opportunity to ask what's on my mind since I woke up the first time.

"Is he alive?" I ask loud and clear, or as clear as I can with my unused voice, so nobody will think it's a secret conversation.

She nods. She doesn't need to know who _he_ is; she knows I'm talking about Gale. With the reassuring news of him being alive, I'm knocked out again. The third time I wake up, though, I'm completely alone but don't have any cables attached to me or any bandages. I'm about to sit up when I get a good look at my skin, its perfectly smooth feeling, no scars. I look at my arms, shoulders, everything that's not covered and I'm surprised to see that all of my scars are gone, even the ones from old hunting experiences.

I reach out to my forehead to find it completely smooth, my hair's a little longer and that makes me question how long I've been here for. I get out of bed slowly but once I realize my legs are strong I start to walk around the room, at the end of the bed there's a black shirt and pants for me which I put on. They're the same I wore at the arena and they make me uncomfortable but I'll have to deal with it for now. The wall slides open and I walk out of the room to a big hallway.

"Hello?" I ask to no one in particular. Someone answers me, a voice that irritates me but then makes me eager to find its owner. Effie, that's Effie's voice.

I turn around and see Haymitch, Effie and Cinna at the end of the hallway where there's some kind of room. I take off towards them, not caring that this is not the way a victor behaves or that this will be on tape, and launch myself into Haymitch's arms. I think I surprise everyone and even myself by doing that.

"Good job, sweetheart," He whispers in my ear and for the first time, it doesn't sound sarcastic.

"Thank you," I whisper back. I know he knows I'm not talking about the compliment but about how he actually kept his promise and helped us.

"Oh, I'm so happy! I knew you were pearls, I told everyone and nobody believed me." Effie gushes as she hugs me and I laugh at her.

Cinna gives me a tight hug and I hug him back as tightly, he really is my friend.

"Where's Gale?" I frown when I see he isn't here. "He's fine, isn't he?"

"Never better, he even woke up before you. They want to reunite you two live on air," Haymitch explains to me and I nod.

I'm then taken to another room where my prep team prepares me to the ceremony—after they keep going on and on about how happy they're to see me alive, of course.—and then Cinna comes in with my dress and helps me put it on along with my shoes.

"Are you still into the whole 'girl on fire' thing?" I ask before I look at myself.

"See for yourself," He smiles as I do.

I'm still the girl on fire but this time, the flames that engulf me are not fierce or lethal. They're soft and resemble candlelight; my hair is combed down to my waist and a headband prevents it from falling to my face, my make up is done in a way so I look innocent and naïve.

Somehow, it reminds me of Prim. I look like a little girl, at age 14 at most which is ridiculous seeing as though I just won the games. But this look will make people think I'm harmless, which I'm not, and that everything I did, I did for love.

We take the elevator to the stage. First the prep team goes in, then Cinna, the escort—Effie trinket—the mentor—Haymitch—and then the victors. I'm left alone as the prep team goes into the stage and is followed by Cinna and Effie. A hand touches my shoulder and I turn around, startled.

"Calm down, it's just me," Haymitch says, lifting his hands up. "What about a last hug for luck?"

Something in his voice suggests this isn't a normal hug and when I step in to hug him and find myself trapped in his arms, I know he needs to tell me something.

"Listen to me, you're in trouble. The capitol isn't happy with you. They're angry about you showing them up in front of all Panem," He tells me quickly, my hair covering his mouth.

I laugh delightedly as if he was telling me something funny but in reality I'm terrified. I know my actions were wrong and maybe a tad rebellious but I never thought it'd end up like this.

"So what?"

"If they ask you, say you're so madly in love you had to do anything to save him or both of you. You say life without him wasn't an option," He keeps talking.

"What about Gale?" I ask as I scratch my forehead and cover my mouth with my arm.

"Already knows. We'll talk back at home," He pauses and steps back, fixing my hair. "Got it, sweetheart?"

I nod and he takes me to the side of the stage by the hand.

"This is your night, enjoy it," He kisses my forehead and then leaves.

I'm shaking and it doesn't matter how much I move, it won't stop. With some luck, they will think it's out of excitement and not dread. Then I hear Caesar Flickerman announcing their victors and someone signalizes me to go on stage.

I walk slowly, looking at the crowd like they're the scariest thing I've ever seen and I realize my nonexistent stage fright has appeared again, but then I see Gale a few feet away and I stop all together.

He looks so different, more healthy and handsome than I've ever seen him and when he smiles at me I know that it doesn't matter if we're at home or at The Capitol or at the arena, he still loves me. With tearful eyes I take about four steps and jump into his arms, his arms hug my waist tightly as I bury my face in his chest and he kisses my head. I need support, I need someone to tell me they haven't win, that we still stand a chance.

"I love you so much," He tells me, his voice breaks a little at the end.

"I love you, too," I say as I kiss him and the audience explodes in cheers and _aws_. I again have that feeling of intrusion. This is our moment and they take no part in it.

"Why are you crying?" he frowns and I let out a teary shaky laugh.

"I don't know, I'm just happy you're fine," I say as I wipe away one tear and thank Cinna for water-proof make up. Gale just hugs me in return.

After ten minutes of kissing and hugging and more kissing and even whispering sweet nothing into the other's ear, Caesar Flickerman touches Gale in the shoulder to continue with the show but he just keeps kissing me and waving him off. The crowd goes crazy and even I smile a little, then Haymitch is pushing us towards the victors' chair where we'll sit and watch the games.

We sit in a love seat and I sit so close to him there's no space between us, one of his hands grabs mind, entwining our fingers, and his arm is around my shoulders keeping me close.

Then the anthem starts and soon enough we're watching our own games. Each year, depending on the victor's personality, they tell a story through the headlights of the games. Some times they play the story of a brave, fearless victor; others about how surviving is vital and this year they're telling a love story.

They show more of us than the other tributes, making it seem like every decision was so we could meet at the end. They show how Gale leaded the careers wrongly so they wouldn't find me, how he stayed up under the tracker-jackers tree to make sure I was fine, how he fought Cato—something so awful I had to hide my face in his chest for a while until he told me it was okay to look—how he spent most of his time later trying to heal his wound and when he realized it was useless, took the time to track me down, how he even whispered my name in his sleep.

Compared to that I'm heartless; cursing my mentor in the first three days, running from walls of fire, dropping tracker jackers nest on him and even yelling at him. Except for the time when I almost fell off the tree when I found out he was with the careers and when I talked about him with Rue .

And then there's Rue. They show the full thing, me calling out to her, trying to save her, Marvel throwing his spear, it piercing Rue's chest, my arrow flying, everything.

By the time I'm singing to Rue, most of the audience is crying and Gale's hold on me is tighter. I'm fighting back tears and shaking. They show the entire song and then jump to me sobbing, cutting out the scene where I cover her in flowers because that itself it's a sigh of rebellion.

When Gale finally finds me is, apparently, everyone's favorite part. Even I'm surprised to see how heartbroken I seem, with teary eyes and shouting at him for lying and saying he loved me. When he kisses me and they announce the rule change, the entire crowd erupts in cheers. Then I'm nursing him back to health, risking my life to save him and he's taking care of me.

When the berries come, I tense and grab the hand that's near my shoulder which he squeezes back. I'm incredibly relieved to see they don't finish there but add how I inquire after Gale since I wake up until we meet. Maybe, just maybe, people will realize I truly did the berries thing for love.

Then President Snow himself is crowning us and when he lifts the crown above my head and meets my eyes, I know that I'll pay for my actions. It doesn't matter what I do, I'll pay and so will Gale.

"That's a pretty pin, you have," He tells me coldly. His eyes wavering to the mockingjay pin on my dress.

"Thank you, it's a mockingjay. But you already know that, don't you?" I raise an eyebrow as he glares at me but I don't even flinch.

If I'm going down, I'll go down my way. And why not cause some havoc meanwhile? President Snow simply smiles bitterly at me and walks away, leading us to the center of the stage where we'll be interview by Caesar Flickerman.

There we have to sit in different chairs but his hand never leaves mine, and even if we're in different seats we move them so they're closer. We talk and joke a bit—I joke and Gale just smiles, sometimes.—but then he starts to ask direct questions and my heart quickens.

"So Heather, dear, tell me. From the beginning of the games we saw Gale try to help you but you didn't acknowledge him up until he kissed you, why's that?" he asks.

"Well…" I start to say, thinking desperately for an answer. "That's not entirely true, I always thought about him and seeing him with the careers that night hurt me so much I decided to forget him because only one came out but then…" I stutter, nervous.

"The kiss changed your mind." Caesar finishes for me and I smile. _Thank you very much, Caesar._

"Yes, with the kiss I decided that, even if it was for a little while, I could be with him and when they announced there'd be two victors—I realized there was no point in hiding how I felt anymore. I could finally have him," I say and look at the side of the stage where Haymitch is. He nods at me and I know that even though I almost mess up, I did a good job.

The crowd has gone crazy with my declaration and even Caesar has to take a moment because he's so moved. Gale presses his forehead to my temple and it sends my heart racing again.

"I'm yours, so what will you do with me?" he asks softly and I sigh, his voice giving me goose bumps and not the bad kind.

"Keep you somewhere safe, somewhere where nobody can hurt you," I say back and turn my head to kiss him. When my lips meet his, people in the crowd actually sigh.

Then Caesar continues to talk about our wounds and how heart-touching our stories were.

"I have to ask, what were you thinking when you held out those berries?" he asks me.

_I think you know what I was truly thinking, Caesar._ I almost start to say how badly I wanted to make the capitol suffer at least a little bit by taking Gale away from me or taking me away from him but then remember our situation and instead say:

"I couldn't kill him, it was unthinkable." I start.

"I couldn't bear the idea of loosing him, of having to live without him. So I did the first thing that came to my mind." I finish and my voice actually breaks at the end.

Because it's true; yes of course, I took those berries to defy the Capitol but I also did it because I can't lose him, I'm not able to live without him. Gale's my best friend, the love of my life; he's given me a sense of security I've lacked since my father's death and I can't lose him. Not now, not ever.

"Anything to add, Gale?"

"She speaks for the both of us," He explains and then we say our goodbyes.

Once we're backstage, everyone's laughing and hugging but it isn't until I reach Haymitch that I allow myself to breathe correctly.

"It was perfect," He tells me before I can open my mouth and I let out a sigh of relief.

Then we're taken to our rooms to retrieve our belongings—which are none.—and we're ushered to the train. The train ride back home feels like it lasts weeks when in reality only lasts one night and half day. We arrive at district 12, the next day at midday.

"What do we do now? With the capitol?" I whisper in Gale's ear as we ready ourselves inside the Court building.

"We wait until Haymitch talks to us, like he told you to," He whispers back and something in his voice tells me he's not telling me everything.

"Gale." I frown but he kisses me softly in the lips and puts an arm around me as the doors to the square are open fro outside.

"Trust me," he mutters before we walk out.

My eyes search the crowd for my family and friends and I'm ignoring the thousands of cameras taking pictures of me. The minute I see Prim, I take off.

"Prim!" I yell as I run towards her.

"Heather, you made it! Heather!" she shouts as she runs towards me.

finally I have her in my arms and I'm lifting her off the ground and she has her legs around my waist, which is ridiculous because she's almost as tall as I am, holding for dear life.

"I missed you so much," I tell her as I put her on the ground and it isn't until she reaches up to wipe at my face that I realize I'm crying.

Then Katniss comes too and I'm hugging her and we're both crying happy tears or relief tears, I'm not sure, but I know I've never been happier to see my mother in my life.

I hug everyone without really knowing who is who until my arms reach an unfamiliar face.

"Peeta?" I ask confused.

"Um, hi, Heather," He scratches the back of his neck nervously. "Good to have you back."

I simply stare at him for a moment and he notices so he adds:

"I'm the one Gale volunteered for," He explains and signals with his head to where Gale is hugging his mother and siblings.

"I know that," I laugh. "What I don't know is why you're in my family section."

The words come out accusatorily even if I don't mean them to but he notices and starts to glace around nervously, until Katniss comes to his aid.

"Heather, Peeta is—"she steps to his side but is a little in front of him, protectively and I frown. "He's, well, he's my boyfriend."

I open my mouth only to close it again, the same thing happens another two times until I finally shake my head and allow a smile to come into my face.

"Well, Katniss but I thought you'd said he was only cute," I tease her and step forward, hugging Peeta.

"I know mother has probably already told you this but, welcome to the family," I tell him as I step away.

I'm happy for Katniss because I've always thought she had a thing for Peeta Mellark, and the fact that she finally admitted it makes me happy. I want her to be happy, to be loved and to feel like she has everything she's ever wanted.

I know Peeta will give her that because as much as I take care of her, there are some things I can't give to her but that Peeta can.

Then I see a flash of red running towards me and for a crazy second I think is foxface, but I have to remind myself she's dead, right as one over-excited Faith Hill throws herself at me.

"I can't believe you're alive," She sobs and I hug her, opening my arms again when Camilla comes into view.

She also comes to hug me and we stay like that for a long time, the three of us. Hugging, crying, and even cracking a joke here and there.

"So, you and Hawthorne, uh?" Camilla wiggles her eyebrows and I turn a slight shade of pink. "Took you long enough."

"Oh, shush. I think you look great together. Although I gotta tell you, if you kept going with the whole he's-in-love-wit-my-sister crap I'd have killed you. It was so obvious you loved each other," Faith adds and I smile.

"Speak of the devil…" Camilla mutters and I turn around to find Gale coming towards me.

I let go of the girls and walk to where he is, meeting him halfway and putting my arms around his torso.

"Mom wants to see you and so does Posy," He mutters as he leans down to peck my lips.

I move my head to see where they are, Hazelle is looking at us with a small smile on her face and Vick is talking to Posy. Rory is nowhere in sight. I nod my head and he takes my hand, walking with me to where his family and friends are.

"Heather!" Posy beams at me as I get closer and she immediately goes to hug me.

I lower to her height and end up lifting her up anyway, with her hugging my neck and eventually playing with a strand of my hair.

"Did you bring your pretty dress with you?" the five years old asks me and I laugh.

"No, Posy, sorry," I say as I put her down and high five Vick as I give him a hug too.

"Oh, it's all right," She tells me a little disappointed.

I look up to find Gale looking at the three of us with a smile on his face and I unconsciously smile too. Then Hazelle reaches to me and hugs me lightly.

"Thank you."

"You have nothing to thank me for," I tell her but she shakes her head.

"Yes, I have. You saved his life and risked your own to do it," She explains, eyes shinning.

"Yeah, but I did it because I love him," I insist.

That seems to be a good enough answer to her but still, she says thank you again. then Thom and Bristle are saying hi as well, Bristle's hug being longer than Thom's and I wonder if that's got anything to do with Gale telling them I was off limits but dismiss the thought all together.

Then Harry is also hugging me, surprising me because I didn't know he'd be here.

"Harry, how are you?" I gasp as I hug him.

"Not very happy, thanks to you, all the media team wouldn't leave me alone," He jokes and I laugh.

"Sorry, I kind of had to say it. It was about time he knew, don't you think?"

After everyone had hug us, even Madge gave each of us a hug and the mayor shook our hands, Haymitch signalized for us to go to the end of the square.

"We have to talk," I demand the moment we're out of earshot.

"I'm well aware of that but first things first, are you sure you want to know what's about to happen?" He asks me, deadly serious.

Gale slowly takes my hand and I look at them calculatingly, feeling like they're hiding something for me. Little did I know that what they're hiding is something bigger than me.

Maybe even bigger than the Capitol itself.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Chapter 13:_**

I sit motionless on the rocks at our relax place, with my bow and arrows to the side and my jacket tightly around me, and watch as the sun rises before me. It's really cold and my fingers and limbs are stiff, considering I've been here since around three in the morning.

I just couldn't stay in the house, the one Katniss, Primrose, my mother and I share at the Victor's village, in that giant room, inside that cold bed. I couldn't not because I don't like the house—it's gorgeous and at least twice the size of my old house, maybe even more, with so many rooms that most of them aren't use. It even has a piano.—but because the nightmares won't let me.

Add that to the fact that Haymitch told me we started a rebellion in the districts and what you get is an almost paranoid Heather Everdeen. Haymitch said that some victors had already been trying to figure out a way to stop the Capitol, that the idea of an uprising hadn't started with me holding out those berries like Snow wants me to think, that the rebellion is somehow strong with most of the strongest victors with it-Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason, Beetes, Haymitch and now me and Gale.—he even tells me how they have one or two spies in the capitol.

He also tells me how there wasn't an idea of rebellion around the normal people of the districts until I came out, how all of my actions made people voice their true thought, how there's been one or two attempts of uprising and how I'm the one who apparently 'makes the people want to fight, give them strength'. His words not mine.

But in a few hours, I'll be going to the Victory Tour and I'll have to face all those districts that hate me even if they act like they're happy to see me. it's nothing personal really, except for those who were close to the district's dead tribute, it's just that you're practically raised to hate the victors because they killed your favorite, because they killed your friend or sibling or your only kid or boyfriend or girlfriend.

In my case, though, I'm not dreading it because they'll look up at me with hatred. No, I'm dreading it because if what Haymitch tells me is true, then I'm going to have to be very careful with my words. Very, very careful.

I sigh as I get up and start to walk back to the fence, knowing that any time now my family will wake up and worry if they don't see me home. Although, I've sneaked away so many times since I got back I think the only one who keeps worrying is Prim.

On my way home I stop at my old house to change, a victor can't go around in just a shirt and pants, let alone in a hunting jacket so I change back into white pants and a coat and put on some black shoes. I hate how much I look like a rich girl now, which I am, but I don't act like one.

The walk to the Victor's Village takes me around ten minutes. My house is the second to the right, Haymitch's being the third one to the right and Gale's the one in front on mine. As I walk up to my door, I look to Haymitch's house and sigh knowing that if I don't wake him, no one will.

I enter his house without much trouble and go straight to the kitchen, filling a glass with water and walking to the living room where he's passed out on the couch. Without thinking, I throw the glass' contents at him.

He jumps out, wielding a knife at me which I easily avoid. He always sleeps with a knife in his hand, just in case.

"What are you doing?" he asks me harshly.

"You didn't even make it to your room this time, you've to stop Haymitch. Now." I scold at him.

Even though I hate him, being his neighbor has made me kind of responsible of him, just like he's of me. We look after the other and, though I hate to admit it, I care about him. When he's being a complete idiotic drunk, it's hard for me to but I do.

"Not your problem, sweetheart." He rolls his eyes at me and I clench my jaw, my teeth making an awful noise as they clash against each other.

"Yes, it is. If you didn't want to be scold you should've asked Gale to wake you." I snap as I cross my arms.

"No, thank you." Gale's voice suddenly comes from the door and my stomach clenches at the sound.

Haymitch and I turn around to find him in the door to the living room watching us with an amused expression on his face.

"What's so funny?" Haymitch snaps at him and he lifts up his hands.

"Nothing, nothing." He walks to the kitchen. "I thought you might want to know I bought breakfast."

I lift my eyebrows in Haymitch's direction and he shrugs. I walk to the Kitchen to find Gale cutting a loaf of bread.

"So you actually bought something from Peeta? What's the occasion?" I ask as I rest my chin in his shoulder.

"There's no occasion. I thought you'd like to be alone in the woods for a few hours, so I didn't go hunting." He stops cutting the bread and turns around, his arms snaking around my waist and pulling me closer by my hips.

"How did you—"I start but he cuts me off by kissing me.

"Don't do that on my kitchen." Haymitch tells us as he sits down on the table and grabs a piece of bread.

"Grumpy." I stick my tongue out at him as I rest my head in Gale's shoulders and grab a piece of bread.

I sigh as I bite in, Peeta really does make the best bread. His father's usually the one to do it but once in a while Peeta does it. He also frosts the cakes which are completely beautiful.

Haymitch takes off his dirty shirt, only to reveal an even dirtier undershirt. I shake my head at him but he's too busy eating his bread to notice.

"Take a bath, Haymitch. We're leaving tonight, remember?" I say and don't stop looking at him until he gets up and starts to make his way upstairs muttering something like '…lucky I like her.' Under his breath.

"I'm going home, see you later," I tell Gale as I kiss him softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," He whispers as he kisses me once more but none of us move an inch.

"Gale, I really have to go. Prim's going to worry." I laugh.

He snuggles his face in my neck, giving me goose bumps when his breath trickles my skin.

"Go later." He protests and I laugh again.

"No, I can't." I manage to get out of his arms but he grabs my hand. "I'll see you later. After breakfast, ok?"

I start to walk to the door and he trails behind me, still clutching my hand. "No, you won't because Cinna is coming and I won't see you until we leave."

By the time he's finished talking we're already outside my house. The light snow that's started to fall since I left the woods is all over the ground and we're leaving footprints.

"In that case, you'll have something to look forward to." I joke as I kiss him again.

"Ok, see you," he tells me, giving me a kiss on my cheek and hugging me. "Good luck with your crazy prep team."

He doesn't enter his house until I'm closing my door. The minute I'm inside, my mother comes to where I am.

"I know, I know. Shoes off," I say as I start to take them off. "I won't stain the floor."

She helps me with my coat and shakes the snow off my hair.

"It's only snow; I won't ground you for it." She laughs. "How's Gale?"

"He's good." I start to walk farther into the house but she's on my way.

"And how was your walk with him?" she presses the matter and I stop trying to walk.

She knows I was in the woods and she also knows I wasn't with Gale there. My mother doesn't let Gale stay over so if either of us had a nightmare, we'd usually just go out for a walk. That was if we woke up at the same time, he never wakes me when he's a nightmare but always demands I do; lately, though, I've let him sleep for a few nights and mom knows this.

That's when I realize she's a little pale and my heart quickens. Something's going on.

"We didn't walk much, really." I shrug as I try to act like a normal teenager. This is when I finally register the man that's in our living room; he's definitely from the capitol.

"Someone's here to see you, he's at the study," She tells me and I nod, widening my eyes a bit to tell her to calm down.

The man leads me to the study and signalizes me to come in, I almost snap at him for bossing me around my own house but bite my tongue. When I open the door my heart skips a beat because there, reading one of my favorite books and sitting in the desk, is no other than President Snow.

He signals with his hand one of the chairs for me to take and I do as he says, my heart racing in my chest. It's incredible how even though this is my house and not his, it looks like he's the master of the place.

I take a deep breath to calm my heart when I freeze. The whole room is full of a scent of roses and blood, why does it smell of blood?

"I think we'll make this situation better by agreeing not to lie to each other, what do you think?" he tells me.

I think I'm so paralyzed with sudden fear that I won't be able to talk.

"That'd be great, actually." I manage to say in a steady voice.

"I have a problem, Miss Everdeen," He starts. "One that started when you pulled out those berries."

I nod, already knowing this but not really knowing why he was telling me. Is he here to threaten me or to let me know he knows I know about the rebellion?

"If Seneca Crane had had any brains, he would've killed you in that precise moment, but he was caught up in a sentimental streak and that's why you're here. Do you know where _he_ is?" he looks at me dead in the eye.

"Ten feet underground?" I ask sarcastically and receive an almost unnoticeable nod from the president.

"And here's where my problem starts. In several districts they saw your act as an act of defiance," which it was, I add mentally. "Not an act of love." Which it also was.

"And if a girl from district 12 can defy the Capitol and walk away unharmed what will stop the other districts to do the same? What will make them think they can't make an uprising?"

The weight of his words slowly settles in and I relax a bit because even if he knows about the uprisings, he at least doesn't know about the plans of rebellion.

"So there have been uprisings?" I ask, playing dumb.

"Not yet, but there will be. And uprisings lead to rebellions. Do you have any idea, Miss Everdeen, of the consequences of there being a rebellion? How many people could die? What the ones who survived would have to go through?" President Snow starts to massage the spot over his left brow, right where I get headaches.

"Whatever problems someone may have with the Capitol, if it released its grip on the districts, even if it's only for a short time, the entire system would collapse. Believe me." he tells me with such sincerity, I'm a little taken aback.

He trusts me with the truth, but at the same time makes it look like he's actually concern for the people of Panem. He's telling me a lie and the truth hoping that I'm gullible enough to not tell apart which is real and which is not. He's underestimated me.

"Your system must be very fragile if a handful of berries is the only thing needed to bring it down," I say coldly.

He remains quiet for a moment while he studies me and I study him. He's a rose on his pocket jacket which means that's where the smell of roses comes from but the blood… where does that one come from?

"Yes, it is but not in the way you think," He finally says.

A knock on the door prevents me from opening my mouth. "The mother wants to know if you want tea." the man from the capitol says.

"Yes, I would," Snow says and my mother enters with a tray with cups, sugar, cream, a plate with cookies and a teapot.

She then shots me a look and leaves the room. President Snow pours tea in both cups and adds sugar and cream to his, then he start to stir it with a teaspoon.

I know he's waiting for me to speak but what can I say?

"It wasn't my intention to start an uprising," I finally say, grabbing a cookie from the plate.

"I know. The girl on fire… you have light up a spark that left unattended might create an inferno that destroys Panem." He says severely.

"Then why don't you kill me? Get it over with." I demand.

"That would only make it worse." He explains to me and grabs a cookie. "Did your mother make this?"

"Peeta did." I shake my head.

"Right, your sister's boyfriend." He nods and my eyes widen.

How can he know about Peeta and Katniss? Things about me and Gale, well it's not surprise he knows but them? He gets nothing out of Peeta or Katniss, absolutely nothing.

"Don't look so surprised, I know everything that happens around here." He says as he bites into the cookie. "You know, I could easily kill your cookie maker."

"He hasn't done anything, neither has Katniss so keep my family out of this." I snap.

"On the contrary, he has made your sister happy and by extent made you happy. Mr. Hawthorne I can't kill, although I'd love to, knowing it'd break you for sure, because he's also a victor, someone Panem loves and it'd make things worse as well." He tells me and the fear starts to rise.

He's making sure the message about him controlling my life gets across; even if it means threatening the people I love.

"But Peeta and Katniss, your redheaded friend or the blonde one, those I can easily kill. Every last one of the people you know could be killed if we don't come to a happy resolution." He says calmly and I glare.

"I get it. I'll make sure they understand I didn't do anything to defy the Capitol." I say, even though I don't know if I'm telling the truth or not.

"Aim higher in case you fall short." He rises from the chair.

Aim higher in case you fall short. Of course, he wants me to make him understand I didn't do it to defy the Capitol, but the problem is I did want to defy the Capitol. If maybe only for a second had I thought about the chain reaction that would cause.

"I can do that," I tell him through gritted teeth.

He nods at me and just like that, he's out of the room.

"Is everything all right?" my mother asks me as I step out of the room.

"Yes, they don't show it but the president always visits the victors." I lie.

She can't know this, none of them can. But who does need to know is Haymitch and Gale, and probably even Finnick or Johanna.

"Oh, what a relief. Do you want me to start your bath? Katniss is gone to hunt and Prim's in the living room," She tells me.

I start to walk to the door and put a scarf around my neck. "Yes, please, but I'm going to Haymitch's for a minute, I forgot to ask him something about the tour."

She nods and tells me it's all right but to be here in ten minutes, and I'm out of the house. Instead of going to the house on my left, however, I go straight to the Hawthorne's.

"Heather, hi," Rory says as he opens the door and I come in.

"Hi, Rory." I look around. "Where's Gale?"

"He's in the kitchen. We're having breakfast." He starts to walk to the kitchen and I follow him.

Once we're there, I find a crowded kitchen table with a very hungry Vick eating, a little Posy that still looks half asleep, Hazelle that seems to be busy cooking and a frowny Gale who seems to be thinking deeply.

"Hey, Gale, your girlfriend's here," Rory says as he takes a seat on the table, making Gale snap out of whatever it was he was thinking about.

"Hi, everyone," I laugh as I walk over and sit in Gale's lap.

"Are you going to stay for breakfast?" Posy asks and I shake my head, making her pout.

"Actually, Haymitch sent me. He said he wanted to talk to us about the tour before our prep team takes over." I explain and look at Gale who raises an eyebrow.

"Now? Ok, go but be quick. You still have to help me with those, Gale." Hazelle says as she signals with her head to a pile of unfolded clothes in a basket.

We get up and walk over to Haymitch's where after making sure no one could hear us, I tell them everything that had happened in that room.

"What do I do?" I ask Haymitch.

He looks at me and then gets up, telling us to follow him, and starts to walk down to the basement. Or what's supposed to be the basement; it looks pretty normal with a couch and a chair, and a computer in one of the tables. Nothing special, really.

He taps the computer screen and a face appears in it, no, two faces. The screen is in half, the right half shows a smiley Finnick Odair and the left half a bored Johanna Mason. Well, thank you technology.

"Heather, Gale, this is Johanna and Finnick," Haymitch says with a boring edge to his voice.

"I know who they are, Haymitch." I had spoken to them several times over the phone but never over a video call.

"Why did you call us, Abernathy?" Johanna asks. "Has the princess broken a nail?"

I glare at her but don't say anything, knowing her rage is just being misdirected.

"Actually, _the princess_ has something to tell you," Haymitch says and nods at me to continue.

I tell them everything that happened with Snow and even add some of my thoughts in the matter and then ask them what they think. Finnick's face reflects concern while Johanna's, for the first time ever, actually looks like she pities me. Well, at least she's showing something else beside boredom.

"He visited you too? Then forget it, you're doomed," She tells me harshly.

"Don't tell her that, it's not necessarily true." Gale snaps at her.

"Maybe he wanted to scare you," he tells me, with his hands on my shoulders.

"Or was telling me the truth, giving me a heads up." I reply as I look back at the screen waiting for Johanna to confirm that what I said is true.

"I'm sorry, Heather," Finnick says.

"There's nothing I can do, is there?" I mutter.

Their silence makes me clench my jaw to prevent the tears from falling.

"Well, in that case, he might as well forget about me playing nice. Those berries might have been an act of love but they were also an act of defiance and the people will know it." I run a hand through my hair and leave the house.

I don't get too far before Gale calls out to me to stop walking. I turn around ready to snap at him when he surprises me by putting his arms around me and holding me close.

"How am I supposed to face Prim now?" I ask quietly.

"I don't know." He answers me and remains quiet for a moment. "You said you'd try to calm the districts down, do it. Maybe in that way, he'll leave your family alone."

"Maybe," I whisper, even though we both know it's a lie.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 14:  
"Oh, your eyebrows!" Venia exclaims once she and the rest of my prep team enter the bathroom where I am taking a bath.  
"You can fix those in no time." Octavia comes up and pats Venia in the back, while Flavius starts to look at my hair.  
"Has anyone done something to your hair since the last time you saw us?" he asks and I quickly shake my head.  
At least I paid attention to something and did as they told me. "No, nobody has touched it or cut it."  
This is enough for them, so they give me a kiss and sit me in a chair in my room. They start to talk right away about how exciting it must be for me to be a mentor this year, in the quarter quell, and how everyone still loves me back at the capitol and how exiting they are for me to go there after the tour.  
"Don't you feel lucky?"  
"In your first year, you get to be a mentor in the Quarter Quell!"  
"Oh, yes. I can't wait," I say as neutrally as I can.  
The Quarter Quell occurs every 25 years, and it's no common game. No, the Quarter Quell usually means there'd be a twist in the games meant to make the life of the tributes and districts even more miserable.  
After my nails are polished, my eyebrows waxed and my hair combed, they start to do my make over. I can see by the colors they're using that Cinna is going for the sweet, not the sexy, look. Then my mother comes into the room and says that Cinna has asked her to show my prep team how to do my hair. She starts to do an intricate braided hairdo; I recognize to be the same Katniss wears to the reaping.  
Once my hair's done I walk downstairs to find Cinna talking with Prim.  
"Hey, aren't you supposed to be at school?" I ask Prim as I walk towards Cinna who gives me a hug.  
"Not today, mom let me stay," She tells me and I smile.  
"Of course she did." I kiss her cheek and tell her to go and play the piano while I talk to Cinna.  
I've been teaching Prim how to play the piano since we moved here and she saw it. The moment she saw the brand new shiny thing she was in love with it so I've been showing her how to play a little bit. Mostly she looks at me while I play and then tries to copy my moves.  
Playing the piano is my talent, well, that and singing. Every victor has one; they don't go to work or school so they need to have a talent, something to do while they're at home and not mentoring.  
Gale's talent is photography, it was Portia's idea because the only thing he's really good at is hunting but that's illegal. So everyone tried to find him a talent, Peeta tried to teach him how to paint, that didn't go well, I tried to teach him how to play the piano, he couldn't remember the keys, Faith tried to teach him how to garden, it was a complete disaster, so Portia suggested he tried photography. Everyone says he's good but he refuses to show me the pictures.  
Cinna hands me my clothes and I, once away, thank god for his talent. My outfit consists of flowing black pants that are made of a warm material, a white shirt, a green and blue sweater and laced leather boots.  
Effie arrives with a new orange wig on her head, gives me one kiss in each cheek and shoves me to the room where the piano is, while saying something like "we're on schedule."  
I play two pieces, one Effie sent from the Capitol and other one that I composed, and then the media team leaves to interview Prim and Katniss. I watch as Prim answers animatedly and even Katniss smiles one or two times, then her eyes connect with mine and she stops midsentence for a second before remaining her composure and continuing to talk.  
Things between Katniss and I had been a little awkward since I got back, she didn't talk to me for an entire week until one night, I heard her crying in her room.  
I walked there, only to find her sitting on the bed, embracing her knees.  
"Katniss? Are you ok?" I had asked carefully.  
"I'm fine," She said as she wiped at her face.  
It took me more than ten minutes to finally make her open up and what she said, or more like shouted at my face, shocked me.  
"I miss you, all right? When you came back I thought things would be like before but now you don't talk to me or even wake me up when you have a nightmare and ask me if I want water or milk. And mom never pays attention and Prim likes you better, she always has and now I'm all alone!" she sobbed.  
I walked to her bed and sat down next to her, putting an arm around her. It took me half an hour to finally convince her that she isn't alone, that I hadn't woken her because I didn't want her to be scared of my nightmares, that mom loved her and Prim always looked up to her and that I'd always be there for her no matter what.  
"Peeta asked me to marry him." she had muttered after a moment of silence. "And I know we're only 17 and that it's crazy but I said yes."  
That comment alone left me quiet for a few minutes, until I finally said: "congratulations, I know it's the right thing to do." and with that, we both went to sleep.  
"Why am I wearing earmuffs?" I suddenly ask, getting back from my flashback.  
"You're bringing them back in style." Cinna explains as he helps me put on a fluffy white coat and a red scarf.  
Then we're ushered outside the house where they record how Gale and I reunite before the tour. I put on a big smile as I walk outside the door, even though I'm momentarily blinded by the whiteness of the snow, and start to walk towards Gale who is outside my house waiting for me.  
I jump into his arms and kiss him, more for me than for the cameras but the media team loves the public display of affection. The rest of the day is a blur, we say goodbye to the district, get into the train, have dinner and before I know it, I'm already in my pajamas and ready to go to sleep.  
Unfortunately for me, dawn comes before sleep does and before I know it, Effie is raging on my door about how "today's a big big day!" I put on the first thing I find and make my way sleepily outside. The prep team will work with me to prepare me for our first stop: district 11.  
A place where I owe the tributes so much, both of them saved my life and I did nothing to save theirs. I tried with Rue and failed miserably, I didn't even try with Thresh because I was too busy moping around about how I wanted to go home.  
I spend the entire morning with my prep team while they drink cup after cup of coffee to keep themselves awake and wax every part of my body, again. By lunch I'm so tired of being used like a doll that I don't even eat. I just sit there in the table in between Haymitch and Gale and try as hard as I can to not fall asleep.  
People notice I'm out of it and try to bring me into the conversation but I just ignore them, suddenly the train comes to a stop because of some sort of malfunctioning and Effie goes on and on about how this will affect the whole trip.  
"Effie, shut up! Nobody cares!" I exclaim, making everyone fall silent and look at me. Even Haymitch is glaring at me and Effie looks like she's about to cry.  
I get up and leave the train, needing some fresh air, and walk around. We'll be here for an hour which gives me plenty of time to think. I sit down in the ground and take off my coat; here the trees still have leaves and there's no snow, making it a little warmer than back at 12.  
After a few minutes, I hear footsteps approaching and I prepare myself from the scolding that's sure to come from Haymitch.  
"I don't need you to scold me," I say.  
"Then I'll be quick." Gale sits down next to me.  
"I thought you were Haymitch and were coming here to eat me alive for yelling at Effie," I say, trying to at least smile a bit but I can't even manage a grimace.  
"He's still eating that muffin, although he did make sure she had stopped crying before going back to eating it." He nudges me with his shoulder.  
"Bad day?" he asks sarcastically and I sigh.  
"I couldn't sleep at all last night. I was scared out of my skin," I say a little bit embarrassed.  
I'm the victor of District 12, the girl on fire, the one who defies the Capitol by even breathing, the one who gave strength to the possible rebellion and yet, when it comes to a few words from the president I'm scared like a little girl.  
"It's ok to be scared, I'm too," He tells me, sensing my embarrassment.  
"You're scared of nothing, just fire and after the games I don't think that fear is still there." I scoff.  
"I'm scared of a lot of things, Heather, I just don't show it," He tells me, grabbing my hand and I turn to look at him.  
"What of?" curiosity gets the best of me and I have to ask.  
"I'm scared of reaping day because I'm scared Rory might be reaped or Katniss or Prim and well, you." He puts an arm around me and I move so we're as close as possible.  
"I'm scared of getting whipped; you have no idea how much. Because getting a bullet through your head, that's that, you're dead. But being whipped you have to endure the same pain over and over again." he suppresses a shudder and I turn so I can face him.  
"And I'm scared of losing you," he says after a minute, his grey eyes glue to the ground. "So much."  
"Hey, hey look at me." I take his face in my hands and give him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry about that, ok? Because none of them will have to take tesserae ever again and you won't get whipped; we've hunted for years now and nothing's happened."  
He kisses me lightly and I give him a little smile. "And you'll never lose me. I'll always be with you."  
"Right, I guess you're right." He presses his forehead against mine and meets my eyes, blue combining with grey.  
"Why won't you show me your talent?" I ask out of the blue, making him lift his eyebrows.  
"I'm curious." I laugh, sitting next to him again.  
He laughs. "You tried to teach me how to play the piano, we know how that ended."  
It was a complete disaster, he couldn't even read a music sheet, let alone know what key is what so at the end he always ended up listening instead of playing.  
"So, I tried writing. It wasn't that bad." He shrugs.  
"… Like poetry?" I ask and try as hard as I can not to snort at the idea.  
"No, that's Finnick's thing not mine." He snorts and I laugh, not being able to control myself any longer.  
"And then Portia gave you a camera, I know. I want you to show me, please," I say as I get up, he follows, and we start to walk to the train.  
"Yeah, but the Capitol thinks I do both. Taking pictures and writing." He shrugs as we reach the train.  
There, I apologize to Effie—in the most excessive way and making sure she knows how extremely sorry I am.—and then Gale takes me to his room where he shows me all the pictures—they're beautiful, some in black and white, others in color. There are pictures of the woods, the Seam, town, my house, of me playing the piano, playing with Posy. It's like he's photographed everything he's seen.—and he also shows me what he's written: the games through his eyes.  
"Oh, my god. This is—Gale, this is just—I don't even know what to say," I say after I've read the whole thing.  
The train started to move around half an hour ago and we've spent the whole time sitting in his bed next to each other while he sees me reading and I'm shocked or traumatized, I'm not really sure. He describes every little detail from two days before the reaping until we got home and it's even worst than what I lived in the arena, he really did had a bad time there.  
"How do you remember so much?" I look up at him.  
"I live it again every night." He looks down at the floor and I sigh.  
I live it again every night as well, but never in a thousand years would I write about it; I do compose songs about it, though; I think that's the reason why most of the songs I compose, except for two or three, are very dark or sad.  
"I keep hoping they'll go away but I don't think they will; Haymitch's haven't." I whisper and he puts one of his arms around me. "I loved the pictures, though."  
There's a knock on the door and it's Cinna telling us we're reaching District 11 and he needs to dress me up; I leave with Cinna to my room where my dress is laying on my bed.  
He helps me put on a red knee-high dress and a head band of the same color, he pushes my hair back so it reaches my waist and he puts my mockingjay pin. Once he's done, I go to the window and watch in awe how big District 11 actually is; from the window I can see hundred and hundred of people working in the props or just walking around. When we're outside the train they immediately take us to the Justice Building where they put us a microphone on while we listen to the Mayor as he introduces us and then we're pushed outside.  
We are supposed to say our speech but I'm not paying attention, instead my eyes are focused on Thresh's and Rue's family. In Rue's side I can see her five other siblings all younger than her and all of them resemble her so much I have to look away. Thresh's family's side only consists of an old woman and a tall muscular girl.  
Gale starts to talk about how Rue helped me and was great to me and how Thresh saved my life and therefore, saved his life.  
"And that's why to pay you, we'll give to each tribute's family one month of our winnings for the rest of our lives." He finishes and I can't help the gasp that escapes my lips.  
The families just stare at us in pure shock and I'm pretty sure, shock is what my own face reflects. I can't help but smile up at him for such a nice gesture; he practically saved them for ever. I rise up on my tiptoes and kiss him, for the first time not caring that the whole of Panem is watching.  
The mayor gives us a plaque and I take my time to look for the last time at Rue's family. The youngest of them is staring at me almost accusatorily and she's not happy at all. She's reproaching me because I haven't said anything, out of the two of us I'm the only one who interacted personally with Rue, I took care of her, she saved my life and yet, I haven't say a thing.  
"Wait, I'd like to say something," I say quickly to the crowd. "I'd like to thank the tributes, because even if I only met Thresh once," I look at the two women.  
"It was enough for him to save my life; and I want you to know that I always respected him because he was so strong and he played by his rules, no one else's." I continue and even allow myself a little smile when the old woman looks up to me with the ghost of a smile playing on her lips.  
That's when I turn to Rue's family and I have to force down the lump on my throat. "Rue is another story, because I feel like I did know her. She's everywhere I go, on my garden, on the mockingjays that fly by and most of all, I see her in my little sister. I'll never forget her." I shake my head, forcing tears back.  
"And most importantly, I would like to thank District 11 for your children." I look up to the crowd, trying to meet every possible eye. "And for supporting me, even when nobody would."  
I stand there, looking out at the crowd, trying as hard as I can not to cry and clutching Gale's hand for dear life, when somewhere in the crowd someone's whistles Rue's four-note tune. It's an old man who's doing it and after that, everyone lifts their first three fingers, press then to their lips and raise them in the air to me. They do it so coordinately; I know it's not a coincidence. They must have planned it, because that's the exact same gesture I did to Rue when she died.  
That's the moment when I realize that it doesn't matter what I do on this trip, after this I won't convince President Snow. But it's ok, because I don't think I ever wanted to and what this people need is hope and freedom, and not the kind of freedom that comes with death, but the one that you actually get to enjoy and if I get the chance, then I'll help them get it.  
Right at this moment, they cut off my microphone and the mayor takes over, Gale tugs my hand and leads me back to the doors but the brightness difference has made me dizzy—well, that or the fact that I just admitted to myself that I want to take down Snow.—and I have to stop for a minute.  
"You ok?" he asks me.  
"I just got dizzy." I look at his bouquet of flowers and frown. "I left mine outside, let's go get them."  
As we turn around, we see something I wish I could erase from my mind: peacekeepers drag the old man who whistled the tune to the top of the steps, put him facing the crowd and send a bullet though his head.

**A/N: hello, guys. I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews and favorites and follows. I know it's short and I usually update more frecuently but school and my other extracurricular activities are driving me up the wall so I havent been writing as much as I usually do. Don't worry, though. hopefully, next month won't be as hectic. **

**love you all,**

**me.**

**p.s. WE'RE FINALLY ON CATCHING FIREEE. I HADNT REALIZED THATTT. I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO SEE WHAT I HAVE PLAAAANNNNNEEEEDDDDD.**


	16. Chapter 16

**_Chapter 15:_**

Needless to say, district 11 was the first and last district where we got to say what we wanted in front of the people. After we got inside from the disaster that was district 11's town square, I had to endure half an hour of Haymitch's scolding about how talking like that would only get me killed and, after I had literally yelled at him to shut up because I didn't care if I got myself killed because this people had to know how I felt, he ended up saying that we'd see how bad things really were once we were at the Capitol.

The rest of the tour is pretty much a routine we repeat over and over again. We wake up, get dressed, go to the justice building, give our speech—the one the Capitol gives us, of course. — dress fancy, go to dinner, go back to the train and repeat the same procedure in every district. In some of the districts we get to tour around, like in 4 we go to the ocean and I get to see Finnick in person for the same time, which makes me extremely happy, and in 8 we see some of their factories.

Even like this, I can feel the tension bottling up in most of the districts and I know Gale and Haymitch feel it too. It's like they're waiting at the opportunity to pounce at the peacekeepers or at us, I'm not really sure, when the peacekeepers move in to quiet them, they push back instead of retreating. Things are going from bad to worse and as we near the Capitol I know that nothing I do will help things.

I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do anything. By the time we reach district 7, Gale starts to sleep in my room. His nightmares wouldn't let him sleep so he'd walk around the train, where he'd hear my screams and would have to go wake me up, after the third night he'd simply go to sleep in my room. It's the best way for both of us to get some sleep, when I'm with him the nightmares usually don't come or they aren't that bad.

When we get to the Capitol we don't have to try as hard, everyone here loves us already. In the interviews with Caesar, we talk, I joke, and after many convincing from Caesar's part, I sing.

As I stand in front of everyone, with thousands of eyes to meet, I find President Snow's snake-like eyes and suddenly I want to tell him something without really having to address him. I look down at the crowd for a second and start to sing.

"_Skies are crying_

_I am watching_

_Catching teardrops in my hands_

_Only silence _

_As it's ending, _

_Like we never had a chance_

_Do you have to, make me feel like _

_There is nothing left of me?"_

I lift my eyes so they connect with Snow's and he slightly glares back at me.

"_You can take everything I have_

_You can break everything I am_

_Like I'm made of glass_

_Like I'm made of paper_

_Go on and try to tear me down_

_I will be rising from the ground_

_Like a skyscraper! Like a skyscraper!"_

I'm probably not even on air anymore, they must have cut the interview but I'm still singing because I want him to know that I'll fight until I die and even if the districts are not watching right now, they did hear the first part of the song and I'm sure they already know what it means.

"_As the smoke clears_

_I awaken, and untangle you from me_

_Would it make you, feel better_

_ To watch me while I bleed?_

_All my windows, still are broken_

_But I'm standing on my feet  
you can take everything I have_

_You can break everything I am_

_Like I'm made of glass_

_Like I'm made of paper_

_Go on and try to tear me down_

_I will be rising from the ground_

_Like a skyscraper!  
Go run, run, run_

_I'm gonna stay right here_

_Watch you disappear, yeah_

_Go run, run, run Yeah it's a long way down_

_But I am closer to the clouds up here  
you can take everything I have_

_You can break everything I am_

_Like I'm made of glass_

_Like I'm made of paper, go on and try to tear me down_

_I will be rising from the ground_

_Like a skyscraper_."

when I stop singing, the crowd goes crazy with claps like I'm so kind of show. I guess I am. Then Caesar is talking, saying something about president snow wanting to say hi to his favorite victors, which I think is only an excuse for him to inflict us emotional pain but still I don't say anything as he walks towards Gale and shakes his hand, ignoring Gale's glare. Then he turns to me and embraces me, giving me a puffy kiss than makes me stop breathing for a second; the smell of blood and roses overwhelming me. He digs his fingers in my shoulders and I meet his eyes, lifting my eyebrows almost imperceptibly.

He shakes his head almost as imperceptibly as I did and all hope flies out the window. I know that no matter what I do now, that my behavior hasn't been the one he wanted but wasn't that what I wanted all along? To defy him, to give the districts an opportunity? I wanted all that, but the fact that he'll make the life of my loved ones a living hell worries me intensely.

In the party, I don't sulk like I have in the last week. Instead, I laugh, talk to everyone, smile when someone introduces themselves to me, talk to the musicians and, most importantly, I eat. I eat like there's no tomorrow. Table after table filled with all kinds of food, seafood, dessert, meat, vegetables, fruit, anything eatable is here and after spending so much time without eating, the sight makes my mouth water.

Gale kept to himself not really talking while I talked to everyone, but I always kept an eye out for him. As I make my way through the third table of food, though, I lose sight of him completely. Eating is more important and I'm too focused on the food. When I reach the sixth table, however, he finds me.

"You seem to be incredibly hungry." He states, lifting an eyebrow and making me laugh.

"I want to eat everything here." I say as I gesture to the tables with my hands.

"Or at least, almost everything." I add, knowing that's not possible for me to eat everything.

"Ok, challenge accepted." He tells me and I giggle, putting a blueberry in my mouth.

We eat a little bit of everything we find as we move from table to table, still, when we make it to the tenth table I think I'm about to throw up.

"Ok, let's stop. There's no way I can keep eating." I say as I put down a half-eaten piece of chocolate cake with vanilla frosting.

We make our way to the side and start talking quietly until my prep team arrives.

"Why aren't you eating?" she gasps like us not eating is the worst thing possible.

"We have but we can't eat anymore." Gale shrugs.

"That doesn't stop us!" Venia shrieks as she guides us to a table that contents little wineglasses filled with a clear liquid. "Drink this!"

I take one and am about to take a sip when Flavius stops me.

"Not here!" he exclaims. "Or you'll get it all over the floor."

"Do it in there." Venia signals to the doors that lead to the toilets.

I look at the seemingly inoffensive glass and then back to the toilet doors.

"This will make her throw up?" Gale asks, disdained.

I carefully put the glass back in the table, with such accuracy it looks like it was never moved, and take Gale's hand.

"Let's go dance." I say as I force him to move to the dance floor.

Back in 12, dancing was something we did almost every weekend. And by _we_ I mean those teenagers who actually bothered to have a social life, meaning Katniss has no idea of it. But anyway, those who went out on weekends usually danced but our dances require a lot of space; here in the capitol their dances are easy and you don't move that much. The music is slow and sweet, so Gale pulls me into his arms and we move in sync with the music with almost no step at all.

We're silent for a while, with me putting my shin in his shoulder and looking at the freaks that surround us. Any caring or understatement I had started to feel towards them vanishes completely now. Back in the districts people die of hunger everyday and here, they vomit so they can keep eating.

"You go along with it, acting like it doesn't affect you but, Heather, next time…" he starts but drops his voice at the end. "… I don't know how I'll react."

"We've to remember that they sent us to slaughter, for their entertainment." I shake my head. "Sometimes, I wonder if they even deserve the title human."

I surprise myself by the hatred within my words, because I know they're humans just not as sensitive as we are. Effie cares about us and so does our stylist and maybe even our prep team, they were just raised in the wrong way.

"I don't mean that." I say.

"I know." He tells me as he gives me a kiss on the cheek. "But I think I do."

I stop moving and look at him, his brows are furrowed and he's looking at the other couples dancing with anger almost close to hate.

"Don't think like that, you can't think like that. It'll only make you like him." I mutter so no one will hear us. Nobody seems to care.

"sorry." He mutters back.

Then Portia comes up to us with a large man who looks familiar but I can't place him. She says he's Plutarch Heavensbee, the new Head Gamemaker who will replace Seneca Crane. He asks to dance with me and both I and Gale hesitate for a second, before Gale passes me over to him. I don't want to dance with him; I don't want his hands on me, one on my hip and the other on my own. I don't know him, it makes me uncomfortable. Fortunately, he notices and holds me at arm's length.

We talk about the room, the people I've met, the food and then, he tells me about how he avoids punch since the training. He laughs at his own joke and it takes me a minute before I laugh with him too. He's the one who fell on the punch bowl when I threw an arrow at the Gamemakers.

"Oh, you're the one who fell on the—" I try to say but can't continue because I'm laughing again.

"Yes, I am. I'll never recover from that one." He tells me.

Neither will 22 dead tributes, without counting the ones from older games, I almost say but keep quiet.

"So you're the Head Gamemaker now? You most be honored." Unfortunately for me, I sound a little bitter.

"There weren't many takers for the job because of how the games turned out." He tells me, ignoring my bitterness.

He must know Seneca Crane is dead but he doesn't look too concerned.

"Are you planning the Quarter Quell, already?" I ask, faking interest.

"Yes, actually I have a strategy meeting tonight." We stop dancing and he searches in his pockets for a golden pocket watch. He flips open the lid and frowns when he sees the time.

"I'll have to go soon." He turns the watch so I can see it. "It starts at midnight."

"Isn't that a little la—"I stop talking.

Plutarch has run his thumb across the crystal of the watch and for a second, glowing like candlelight, a mockingjay appears. The mockingjay is just like the one in my pin, the difference is this one disappears. He closes the watch and puts it in his pocket.

"Oh, that's really pretty." I say, studying him.

"One of a kind." He says. "If someone asks, I went home."

"Of course." I nod and he leaves.

I start to wander around, looking for Gale so I can tell him about Plutarch's watch. The mockingjay is probably decorative but what if it means something else? The mockingjay is the symbol of the rebellion and Haymitch did say there are spies here. Is Plutarch part of the rebellion? How possible is that? I must be making stuff up; surely a Gamemaker wouldn't be a rebel. They're raised to create the hunger games, to serve the capitol, why would they want to bring it down?

I find Gale in a table, talking to some Capitol citizen. He excuses himself when he sees me looking and makes his way over to me. Effie finds us a little later and after reuniting everyone, we go to the train that will take us back to 12. She reminds us to have a good night's sleep because the tour isn't over yet. The Harvest Festival is left.

Gale sleeps in my room, like the last few nights. I wake up in the morning, snuggled up to him and with his arms around me. I realize that for the first time in a very long time, I had a dreamless night. I look up to find Gale watching me.

"Good morning." I yawn.

"You didn't have a nightmare." He tells me as he plays with my hair.

"Nope." I shake my head. "Did you?"

He looks up to the ceiling for a moment before glancing back at me. "Nothing worth mentioning."

I know I should ask him what it was about but he'll tell me when he's ready, so instead I say:

"I feel bad, I usually scream and wake you up but you never wake me."

"That's because I don't scream, I simply wake up and I don't want to purposely wake you." he explains.

"Why not? It's not fair; I wake you all the time." I frown, sitting up in the bed.

"Because…" he sits up as well and runs a hand through his hair. "Well, my nightmares are about you. You being killed by the careers because they caught up to you, you not coming back from the cornucopia, dying because of the gash on your head, eating the berries so I'd go home and the list goes on."

I blink, not knowing what to say. His memory plays tricks on him and makes horrible things happen, I know what he's talking about because I go through the same. How many times have I dreamt about Gale dying because there was no feast? Many times. Although, sometimes I dream of something else; I dream of the time I spent alone, or sometimes I dream of things that never happened but everything takes place in the arena. I don't dream of him dying because I know he's alive and just a few doors away.

"And sometimes, it's not even something that took place. It's just us never meeting in that hell hole or the careers kill you and make me watch or—"he stops and closes his eyes.

My hand goes up to his face and I trace his features with feather-like fingers. They linger on his cheek and he sighs, opening his eyes. I move so I'm closer to him, so close there's not an inch between us and yet, that doesn't seem enough because he moves me so I'm sitting on his lap. I bring his face closer to mine.

"I won't ask again. I'm sorry." I whisper against his lips.

"It's ok." he pecks my lips. "What I was trying to say is that I don't need to wake you because you're here when I wake up, all I have to do is pull you closer."

"I'm ok with that." I joke and he smiles. "I wish mom would let you stay."

It isn't like we'd do something, not with Prim on the next room or with my mom two rooms down. We're not stupid. And it'd be so good to have him there, I hate being alone at night it terrifies me and he helps me.

He kisses my nose and I giggle. "I wish it too, maybe I'll sneak in."

"Or we could both go somewhere." I mutter as he trails kisses through my jaw and down my neck until he reaches my collarbone. His touch gives me goose bumps.

He makes his way back to my mouth and kisses me; I deepen the kiss and tangle my fingers in his dark hair. Soon he's lowering me into the bed, pressing his forehead to mine when we break for air.

"I love you." he whispers against my neck and I sigh in content.

"_Gale_." I laugh when he starts to lift my shirt. "As much as I'd like to continue, we're still in the _train._"

He groans in annoyance and kisses me one more time before rolling over and falling next to me. We know there are cameras in this train, they watch us every minute we spend here and it would've been really awkward if we had continued to do what we were for sure going to do.

"Come on, let's have breakfast." I laugh as I get up. He follows me and hugs me from behind as we walk to the dining car where we find everyone having breakfast and already dressed.

Once we get to District 12, we go directly to the Mayor's house, where the dinner tonight takes place. At the middle of the dinner I silently make my way upstairs, trying to escape the people downstairs who act like they've known me my entire life when only six months ago they looked at me like I could give them a strange disease. As I walk around the big hallway, a beeping noise coming from one of the room catches my attention and I walk to it. The door is half open so I enter and try to not make a sound as I close it. The sound comes from the T.V.

**UPDATE ON DISTRICT 8**

It reads in black bold letters and I know that whatever is about to play is not meant for me but for the Mayor but somehow I cant tear my eyes from the T.V. then a woman with graying hair appears and announces a Level 3 alert and that conditions have worsened, she also says that additional forces are being sent to district 8 right now. They cut away to the main square in district 8 where a big mob of angry people is. The people are yelling, screaming, their faces covered in homemade masks and they're throwing bricks. Some building burn and the peacekeepers shoot at the crowd, killing at random. _This is an uprising._ I think, _it has begun._


	17. Chapter 17

**_Chapter 16:_**

I got out of the Mayor's office as soon as I could once my mind registered that the uprisings had begun in district 8 and sat down at the top of the stairs where I am now, watching the party downstairs. Well, I look like I'm watching the party when in reality all I can see is the peacekeepers killing people in the crowd and all I can hear is the angry shouting.

"There you are! We've been looking for you everywhere!" Faith exclaims as she appears at the bottom of the stairs. "'Mila, I found her!"

Less than a minute later, Camilla, Faith and Gale are sitting with me on the stairs. Camilla one step lower than me and Faith next to me while Gale sits behind me.

"Why are you here?" Camilla asks and I shrug, not really knowing what to say.

"Do you guys remember my sixteenth birthday?" I ask instead and watch how both girls smile at the memory.

"Yes, it was my first Seam party." Faith signs in content and I giggle.

Faith's parents approve of our friendship but they weren't comfortable with her frequenting the Seam until that day, of course, when they let her go to my birthday party. A party Faith left completely drunk and covered in coal dust, her mother almost had a stroke when she saw Faith's white dress.

"I also remember it was the first fight Gale almost loses." Camilla adds and now we all laugh at the memory.

Some kids from town went to the party without being invited. It wasn't that I didn't have town friends, the party was full of town and Seam people, it was that they were the ones full of prejudice and treated us like scum. So they started to bother me and Gale stepped in, one thing lead to another and before any of us knew what was really happening, they were fighting. Gale won, of course, but by a short shot and ended up with an ugly cut on his arm.

"Yeah, good thing your mother's a healer." He nudges me with his knee and I laugh even more.

"Hey!" I protest. "_She_ didn't heal you,_ I_ did."

"Maybe that's the reason it left a mark." He teases me and I turn around to slap his arm.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" he laughs, putting his arms around me. "You're an excellent healer." He mutters in my ear.

"And we're still here, you know?" Camilla smiles at us and we look at her.

"And slightly depressed because we're single." Faith pouts, making us laugh.

"wake up, wake up, wake up!" Prim jumps into my bed and I roll over, moaning into the pillow.

"no, it's too early." I mumble, pulling the covers above me when Prim steals my pillow.

"nu-uh." She shakes her head. "it's 10 and mom let me wake you. So get up, don't you know what day is?"

The excitement radiates off of her and I laugh, sitting up and hugging my little sister who is looking at me with a huge grin on her face. Today is Sunday, two days after the dinner at the Mayor's house where I witnessed the uprising of district 8 and one day since Finnick confirmed to us that the uprising had been controlled but that things are still tense, and, most importantly, today is my 18th birthday. Reason why my little sister is so excited and why I should be able to sleep until noon.

"happy birthday, Heather." She says.

She doesn't waste anymore time and pulls me out of bed, dragging me downstairs to the kitchen where mom, Katniss, Peeta the Hawthorne family and even Haymitch are. In the kitchen table sits a delicious-looking cake that I know Peeta did and some presents.

"happy birthday." They all say at the same time and I laugh.

I go over to Katniss and give her a hug, then I do the same with everyone and we cut the cake and give one piece to everybody. Katniss and Prim got me a music sheet as a present and Peeta got me the cake, the Hawthorne's got me a box full of bows for my hair and Gale got me a photo album full of pictures of us and our friends that he's taken since he got his camera. There's one picture that by far my favorite: it's of Camilla, Faith, Harry, Thom, Gale and I in the Meadow. It was taken around a month after we came back and we're so happy, it reminds me that there can be happiness in the darkness. Then Haymitch passes me a little box and says:

"from me and a friend who can't be here."

I frown but open the box anyway. Inside there's a beautiful silver bracelet with a little anchor pendant and a little glass bottle with a rolled parchment inside hanging from it. _Finnick._ I automatically think and look up at Haymitch who hands me an envelope and nods, I put on the bracelet and leave the note for later.

"Don't you think a white liquor bottle suits you better?" I smile at him and he shrugs but smiles anyway.

"Couldn't fit it in. you like it or not?" he mumbles, trying to act like it doesn't matter.

"I love it." I tell him. "Thank you. It'll remind me of you."

"Don't know what you're talking about." He shakes his head and I laugh.

After a while, they all leave and only mom, prim and Gale are still in my house. Peeta and Katniss left to God knows where to do God knows what, well I actually have a fair idea of what they are doing but I really don't want to think about it.

"what are you doing today?" he asks me, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm spending the day with the girls, maybe go into town in the afternoon. Wanna join?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

"Maybe, but first I'm going hunting. Posy won't eat so mom wants me to find some wild turkey." He says.

I turn to look at him. "What? But it's snowing like crazy, it'll take you ages."

"Not if I leave now, I should be back by noon." He says as he starts to walk to the door and I follow him. "I'll be back before you notice and then I'll be all yours until tomorrow."

"hmmm, I like the sound of that." I muse and put my arms around his torso. "can you make it quick? I'll miss you."

He smiles and pecks my lips. "You are being whiny."

"It's my birthday and my boyfriend won't be with me the entire day, I have a right to be whiny." I pout against his lips.

"Sorry but I promised mom I'd do it. I was hoping you'd come with me." he suggests and I shake my head.

"Nop, I haven't been with the girls alone in ages. I'll see you later." I kiss him one last time before he leaves.

While I wait for the girls to come I open the letter Haymitch gave me and my suspicions about it being from Finnick are confirmed.

_Heather, _

_I wish you the happiest birthday you've had in your life. We all can't help but wish you had been eighteen last year so you wouldn't have suffered the reaping, but then we remember your little sister would've gone so we accept reality. Either way, if it hadn't been because of that we would've never met and in a way I'm grateful. You're a wonderful girl, so strong and very beautiful and I'm glad to have you as a friend. I hope you spend a wonderful day and, please, just forget about the world for five seconds and be happy, all right? All our problems will still be there tomorrow._

_Finnick Odair._

_P.S. Johanna also wishes you a happy birthday but she won't admit it. She's spent the entire day asking if I sent the letter, I think you've grown on her._

I smile at his words and shake my head; of course Johanna won't admit it. She wouldn't admit even if it was the last day of her life.

"What you got there?" Faith asks and I turn around, hiding the note quickly.

"Nothing, just an old piece of paper." I shrug it off.

Camilla and Faith, my two best friends, walk up to me with big smiles on their faces. The two of them hand me a big box with a huge pink bow in the center of it, they can barely hold the giggles and I roll my eyes at their silliness but can't keep the smile out off my face.

"Happy birthday!" they exclaim and thrown colorful confetti at me, I laugh and try to avoid the confetti but they just keep throwing it at me.

"Open your gift! Open it, open it!" Camilla demands excitedly and I bring the box to me.

"Okay, okay, I'll open it." I tell them as we all sit down on the living room's love seat.

Seeing as though the love seat is just for two, we have to squeeze in but eventually the three of us are sitting, pressed against the other.

"We're too old for this, we'll have to get a new couch." Faith mutters as she tries to free her hair from under Camilla's shoulder. "Ouch! Can you move?"

"I'm sorry, don't be bitter." Camilla grumbles and I roll my eyes. How did these two survived without me stopping their stupid fights?

"Guys, stop it or I wont open my gift." I tell them and that's enough to make them pout.

"It took us years to find this, Heather." Faith pouted.

"Yeah, dad almost killed me when he found out what we were doing, so you have to open it."

I undo the pretty bow and open the heavy box to find seven books inside. I frown, books aren't that hard to find, especially if you're from town. Why was it so hard for them to get them? And that's when I read the title of the first one: Pride and Prejudice. I let out a little gasp and my friends squeal beside me.

"Do you like it? It was really hard to find seeing as though they're an—" Faith starts but she doesn't finish because I jump across Camilla and put a hand over her mouth, startling them.

They look at me with wide eyes and I use my other hand to press a finger to my mouth and shake my head slightly. We're under surveillance and the capitol cannot know they gave me ancient American books, that little piece of information would be enough to get them both killed. I slowly let go of Faith, making sure she won't say anything, and start to rummage through the box. There are seven books in total: _Pride and Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, Ana Karenina, What Happened to Goodbye, This Lullaby, The Wind's Shadow _and_ Kiss._

_"_I'm sure there are more somewhere, but that's all we could find. I hope you like them." Camilla says, smiling.

"Are you kidding? I love them." I laugh and hug them as well as I could in the uncomfortable position the three of us are.

The rest of the day goes by in laughter and jokes and mom and Prim's delicious cooking, by 2 o'clock Peeta and Katniss come home, accompanied by Thom, and spend some time with us. Even though I'm physically here, my mind is elsewhere. Gale said he'd be back by noon, it's noon and he still hasn't come here. Hunting a turkey in winter is hard because they're usually hidden but once you find it it's not hard at all, what in hell is taking him so damn long?

"Heather? Are you even listening to me?" Katniss asks, snapping me back to reality.

I hadn't even notice I was staring into space while looking at the white rug on the floor, I look up and notice that the five of them are looking at me.

"What?" I mumble and they laugh except for Katniss who frowns. "Sorry." I can't help but giggle too.

"I ask if you'd like to go to town for a while, maybe buy some cupcakes." Peeta asks me, his blue eyes hopeful and I smile at him.

"Sure, let's go."

We get up from the living room floor, where we had been sitting in front of the chimney and go to the porch where our coats are. Once we all have our coats on and make sure everything's fine, we go outside. The road is covered in a thin sheet of ice and in some places it is very hard to walk without falling, alongside the road snows piles up in little mountains or is simply scattered around. The sky is a dull gray and my instinct tells me it'll probably snow later.

"Ouch! Again?" Camilla babbles at no one in particular and I turn around to find her sitting on the floor with her arms thrown up in the air.

"Are you all right?" Thom wonders out loud as we all make our way toward her.

"Yeah, I just wish the floor wasn't so slippery." She says angrily.

Thom lends her a hand and she takes it, he pulls her up until she stands and stabilizes her with his other hand on her waist. He lets go of her waist but he hesitates for a moment before letting her hand go, that hesitance is enough to turn Camilla's face a deep red. The exchange happened in a matter of seconds, and no one who hadn't been looking would've noticed. In fact, no one did, they had all staring walking again and by now they're several feet away from us, the only one who saw it was me because I had been making sure Camilla was fine.

Thom starts walking; quickly distancing himself from the beautiful girl from town I know he's trying not to look at, while Camilla quickly makes eye contact with me with a pleading look that sends a clear message: Don't bring it up, I don't want to talk about it. I smile at her and we link arms as we run to catch up with the others. We don't look where we're going and that's why we accidentally bump into Peeta and Katniss who are looking ahead, confused. We look up and realize that people are gathering around the town's square, right in front of the Justice Building.

"What's that?" Faith asks.

I try to look above the people's heads but I see nothing, Katniss does the same but we're not tall enough and neither is Peeta.

"I don't know, I can't see." I tell her at the same time Katniss asks:

"what's happening?"

Thom stands on one of the shop's empty ware box, and looks toward the center of the gathering. His eyes widens and he jumps off the box in lighting speed, he looks at Peeta, who goes to do the same he did and stands into the box, and his eyes go to Katniss and me.

"You should go home, Heather, now." He tells me, trying to keep his voice even but there's a haunted look on his eyes and I feel how the worry and fear slowly creeps into my veins and how a newly formed knot appears in my throat.

"You, too, Katniss. I'll go there later, all right?" Peeta tells my sister with the same tone Thom used and I know something must be wrong.

"Why? What's going on?" she demands.

"just trust me," Peeta begs her and then turns to my friends. "Girls, you should go home too."

The girls start to protest but I ignore them. Instead, I walk forward to the crowd, Thom tries to stop me but I shake off his hand and continue on. People around me turn to glance at me, some shake their head, other just shoot me pitying looks.

"What is she doing here?" "Go away, girl. You'll only bring him trouble." They whisper to me but I ignore them, I know now that what's in front of the Justice Building is meant for me. Once I finally make it to the end of the crowd, the scene before me makes no sense. There's a peacekeeper with the Head Peacekeeper's uniform but I know he's not the one I usually sell things to, there's also a post and nailed to it it's a wild turkey. I frown, what in hell is a wild turkey doing nailed to a piece of wood like it was being showed around? And that's when my eyes fall on the thing in the middle, or more like the person in the middle. His shirt is torn and his hands are tied together, hanging from the post. He's kneeling on the cobbled ground, which is covered in his own blood, and his head is down and I know he's unconscious but I'd recognize him anywhere. The man kneeling on the ground is Gale, _my_ Gale.

Once that very important piece of information is processed by my brain, my eyes fall on the Peacekeeper's arm which he's lifting. In his hand he has a long piece of leather, a whip and that's when everything falls into place; Gale got caught, he was punished by whipping, one of the things he feared the most. Before I know what I'm doing, I'm overcome by emotion and I'm lunging forward.

"No!" I yell, running toward the post and positioning myself between the whip and Gale's back.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 17**

"No!" I cry as I lunge myself forward, toward the scene.

By the time I get to them, it's too late to stop the whip from descending so I just stand there, between someone who is definitely not old Cray and the guy I love, and take the full force of the hit. The whip hits my face first; it lashes through the corner of my left eye and descends until it hits the corner of my lips, making them bleed immediately. Unfortunately for me, it doesn't stop there; it continues down to my chest where it hits my right collarbone and part of my arm. Blinding pain invades me in seconds, my vision gets full of little spots, and the strength behind the whip pushes me to the ground. I support myself with my hands, which get wet with Gale's blood, but slip and end up falling on my left elbow. One of my hands goes to cup my cheek, while I sit down, and the other goes straight to my shoulder, trying to find an arrow but then I remember my bow is still in my hiding place back in the woods.

"Stop it! You're going to kill him!" I yell at him, my head dizzy with the smell of Gale's blood.

I know I must look like a mess. My coat is white, or at least it was; now it's full of stains of blood, Gale's and my own. I hadn't buttoned it up because I wasn't that cold, but that meant the whip hit my shirt, which now is shredded at the neck. My lip is bleeding and the side of my face is quickly swelling up; but despite all of this, I still try to get up.

I manage to get up and glare up at this cold man who stands before me, the entire crowd is silent, it'd be possible for us to hear a pin drop. His eyes are like slits, his nostrils widen when he breathes out and his lips are pressed in a tight line. All this, plus his cold and hard stare, suggests that he's angry and boy, he is. I make eye contact with him, my blue eyes colliding with his black ones, daring him to raise that whip up and hit me again. I know he will.

"Move or I'm punishing you as well. And you'll get it worse." He threatens but I just hold my head higher, my chin sticking out.

He raises the whip, I clench my jaw, willing myself not to cry out when the blow hits me, when a booming voice comes to both our ears and I fight a sigh of relief.

"Hold it!" Haymitch Abernathy orders as he breaks through the crowd and walks up to us. He ignores both the new Head peacekeeper and Darius, who I now notice laying unconscious on the floor, and grabs my arm, turning me around to face him.

"Oh, this is great." He puts a finger under my chin, angling my head so he can analyze the wounded side of my face. "She has a photo shoot next week modeling outfits for The Quarter Quell's opening ceremony. What am I supposed to tell her stylist?"

I had totally forgotten about that. Seeing as though I'm the Capitol's favorite victor, they want me in everything, so now I'm modeling for this year latest fashion: what to wear for The Quarter Quell. A flicker of recognition passes the man's eyes; as I said, I'm a mess so it's not odd that he didn't recognize me, but Haymitch has been on T.V. for years, he's a known face.

"She interrupted the punishment of a confessed criminal." The man growls.

"I don't care if she blew up the Justice Building! Look at her cheek, do you think that'll be camera ready in a week?" Haymitch snarls back.

The man's face reflects doubt and hesitance, he opens his mouth but closes for a moment; he looks around for a second and then his eyes fall on something behind me, which I'm guessing is Gale's back, although I don't want to look yet. Haymitch's eyes follow his and a severe look covers his features, he looks even paler than he usually is.

"It's not my problem." The man says, tearing his eyes away from Gale but Haymitch's are still glued to his back.

"And that, who do you think you are, hitting both of my victors? Swelling her face up and destroying his back, you say it's not your problem but it's about to be." Haymitch tells the peacekeeper. "The first call I'll make is to the Capitol itself."

"He was poaching, that's illegal." He shoots back.

"Well, I think he's been punished enough times," A new voice says, Katniss. She suddenly stands next to me, grabbing my hand and squeezing it hard. "And if you want to get to him, you'll have to pass through both of us."

"And me," Peeta says, walking up to my sister.

I want to shake my head, to yell at them to leave, to tell them that this is not their fight, that there'll be consequences but my lip hasn't stopped bleeding and everything hurts even more as time passes. Besides, all I really care about is keeping Gale alive, which is getting harder and harder the more blood he looses, so really I'm even willing to kill this idiot.

The new Head Peacekeeper looks over to his squad, people I know and who don't look exactly happy with this scene, and Purnia, a regular at the Hob, steps forward.

"I believe the required amount of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, that is." She tells her superior, stiffly.

"Is that how it works here?"

"Yes, sir." She confirms and many others nod in agreement.

"Very well, get him out of here." He orders and passes his hand through the whole whip, splashing us with blood, before coiling it in neat loops and stalking off.

I turn on my feet, daring myself to face Gale's back but giving up on the task the minute my eyes fall on it. Instead I walk around him so I'm facing him and start untying the knots on his wrist, my fingers are trembling terribly and I'm not making any progress, so when Katniss pushes my hands away and starts to cut the ropes with a knife, I don't say anything. Neither do I say anything when Peeta takes my arm and pulls me out of the way, or when they bring the clothing stall woman's board to use as a stretcher. By the time Gale is securely on the board, the square is almost empty. Only a handful stay, Faith and Camilla included, so there's no many people to help us get Gale to my mother. Thom and some of his coworkers from the mines lift the board up and we all start to walk toward my house.

"Go find Hazelle, She's somewhere around the Seam, I think she's over at the Geller's, Leevy, but don't let her bring the kids." Katniss requests the seam girl who lives a few houses down our Seam home. She nods.

"Of course, I'll stay with them." She turns on her heels and starts running down the direction that leads to The Seam.

I watch the interaction with numbness, Faith walks up to me with something folded in her hands. It's Gale's coat, which must have been removed before the whipping because it's not covered in blood, she hands it to me and I take it, looking at it like it's an alien on my hands. By now, the group is already heading to my house so I turn to follow them, Camilla and Faith by my side. As we walk home, Bristle and Harry start to tell what happened. Apparently, Gale was walking in front of the Head Peacekeeper's home without hiding the turkey; old Cray always bought us so there was no reason to be careful. The new Head Peacekeeper—a man called Romulus Thread who appeared out of nowhere this afternoon.—saw him and arrested him immediately. He was forced to publicly admit he was guilty and punished. By the time we got there, he had been whipped more than forty times. Gale passed out at hit number thirty.

"He told Thread he had found it inside the fence, killed it with a stick but it's still a crime," Harry says.

By now, Haymitch, Harry and I are at the head of the group. Haymitch and I were walking faster so we could finally get to my house and Harry was only trying to be able to talk to me. He glances at me and frowns, but I break eye contact immediately and focus on the snowy ground before me.

"Are you all right, Heather?" He asks dumbly and shuts up when Haymitch throws him a glare.

I shake my head, bringing Gale's coat closer to me, and walk faster, or as fast as the snow allows me to. Haymitch matches my pace but says nothing. I don't understand how he got whipped in the first place. He's a victor, a favorite of the Capitol, he's supposed to be immune to this things. What would have happened if he had died? The Capitol citizens would have been devastated. God forbid that.

"You should put some ice in your face." He suggests with a tone that tells me he's trying to sound like he doesn't care. I don't answer, I just walk and pull Gale's coat nearer to me.

When we finally make it to my house, I'm not able to look for the key that's somewhere inside my coat. I knock on the door and, a few seconds later, my mother opens the door. She takes in the scene, looking at me first. Her eyes widen when she catches my clothes and the blood pouring from my lip and chin, which has reached my collarbone, and then her eyes fall on Gale.

"New Head." Haymitch tells her and she nods, as if that explains everything.

We walk inside and the routine begins. The kitchen table is clean within seconds, a white cloth is spread above it and Gale is hoisted in it. Katniss takes a seat at the corner of the kitchen and Thom and the girls stand beside her; my mom takes the kettle and stands on her tiptoes to be able to reach the cupboard where we keep bowls and stuff like that, when I walk up to her and reach it for her. She looks at me with concern in her eyes and pours the water in the bowl I'm holding.

"You don't have to do this; you don't have to prove you're strong." She tells me, taking the bowl from my hands.

"I know," I say for the first time since I stood up to Thread, my voice hoarse and shaking. "But I want to."

My mother orders Prim to go find her medicinal herbs on her cabinet and she starts to pass me things. Herbs, infusions, all this I drop into the bowl with the water, and little by little I start regaining my own control. My hands don't shake as much and I can look at Gale's face, which wears a frown of pain, without wanting to fall down and sob. My mom puts a piece of cloth into the basin and soaks it, ordering Prim to go for another bowl and to fill it with more water so I can make another brew.

"Can you save him, mom?" Katniss voice reaches my ears but I don't acknowledge her, I just focus on the task at hand and in breathing in and out slowly.

"Don't worry; she took care of all the whipping there were around here before old Cray." Haymitch says but his voice has an edge and I realize he's trying to convince himself.

My mom looks at me for a second and then passes me a cloth, signalizing me to do as she does on Gale's back. We slowly but surely start to clean his back, taking all the blood away and trying to save as much skin as possible. The little hairs in my neck raise every time I feel like I've applied too much pressure or when I see too many damaged skin in too many places; this has never, in all the years I've spent helping my mother, happened to me before. My pain is barely noticeable right now, not when I know he's in much worse pain.

Haymitch tells Camilla and Faith to go home and Thom says he'll walk them there. A few minutes later, Hazelle appears at the door with snow on her hair and looking flustered. Without saying a word she pulls a stool and positions it next to the table, right in front of me, and takes Gale's hand, pressing it to her lips. I don't know when it happens, or when everything finally pilled up, but somewhere along the way, keeping up a strong act gets harder and harder. As the blood disappears, I'm able to see where every stroke of the lash landed, leaving a thick and awful mark on the delicate skin, and my own wounds start to hurt more and more. My stomach hurls and I'm positive I'm about to get sick, my head is dizzy and I'm extremely cold. I stop mid way to the bowl and close my eyes, breathing in a deep breathe; a hand reaches for mine and I force myself to open my eyes.

"Go sit, you can't do this, not like this." My mother orders me and I nod, willing the accumulated tears away.

I sit next to Katniss and Peeta, who each take one of my blood-covered hands, and wait in silence. After a while, Prim walks up to me with a different bowl and starts to wipe away the dried blood off my lip and chin. She puts an ointment on my wound, that looks worse and hurts more than it is, and starts to heal my arm and collarbone which are just a little burned and swelled up but not bleeding, I have the coat and shirt to thank for that. It takes my mother an awful amount of time to finally start covering Gale's wound, and I'm praying to whoever-will-listen that he doesn't wake up before the worse has passed, but right when my mom's putting the last bandage, he stirs and a moan escapes his lips.

Hazelle leans down and whispers something in his ear. I want to walk up to him and stroke his hair, tell him I love him, but I know that this is Hazelle's time with him, maybe even the last, and I try to convince myself that I'll have my time as well. My mother and Primrose go find the painkillers she has; there's everything from calming herbs to the real thing, but that's reserved only for the worst pain. My mom starts to take one of her herbal concoctions, one that won't even make a small headache go away, and says that he can take it by mouth.

"No." I say. Six pairs of eyes fall on me but I keep my eyes on my mother. "That won't be enough and you know it."

"We'll mix it up with sleep syrup, Heather, he'll manage. This is just for—" she tries to explain but I wave a hand at her, cutting her off.

"It's for inflammation, I know, and that's why I'm telling you it's not enough." I tell her, getting up.

"Listen, we can't afford to use the stronger medicine now if we—" she starts to speak again but I wont have it.

"Just give it to him! Don't you get it? I want you to be selfish for once in your life and use the medicine for someone you _love, _for someone _I _love. You don't know how much it hurts, I do! And this is not even the half of what he went through." I yell at her, all the frustration and shock and pain finally boiling up and exploding.

"So I'm asking you, no, I'm _begging _you to give him the god damn medicine." I shake my head, exasperated.

Gale starts to mumble incoherent things at the sound of my voice, trying to reach out to me and, in the process, making new fresh blood ooze from his wounds.

"Get her out of here." My mother orders.

Two strong arms snake around me and start to drag me away from the kitchen, I try to fight against them but I'm too weak, so I just let them drag me while I shout at my mother.

"How dare you do this? I hate you, you hear me? I hate you, you stupid selfish old hag!"

More profanities leave my mouth until I'm on the hall and my shouts turn into sob that rack my body. Haymitch turns me around to face him and he holds me as I cry, this shows me how incredibly worried he is about one of his victors. I don't know how much time passes but, slowly, my sobs turn into hiccups and those also turn to sniffs and silent tears, but I don't pull away and Haymitch doesn't make me, either.

"Now listen to me," he takes my shoulders and puts me at arm's length. His stern tone is showing and I suddenly feel like back in the games when I did something Snow didn't like. "I understand you're worried and that you don't want to loose him, but inside that room is a mother who is as scared as you are, even more. How do you think she feel hearing you break down like that?"

Guilt invades me and I look down, he's right. Hazelle is there, holding on to what very little she has so she can give his son a little strength and here I am, District 12's victor, supposedly one of the strongest girls out there, the very one who healed the boy who is now on my kitchen table and stopped him from dying, here I am crying and losing it, feeling completely hopeless instead of keeping it together.

"I'm sorry, you're totally right," I mutter. "I just—I'm scared."

There's no denying it, I'm scared out of my skin. Not only for Gale dying, though that thought terrifies me, but for everything else. The rebellion, the people who will die and who have died, the new Peacekeeper, Snow himself, I'm scared of all this but more importantly, I'm scared of failure. I cannot let all this people down, I just can't. But if this affected me this badly, what guarantees I won't be affected by something else and that I'll be able to go forward with this rebellion? What guarantees Snow isn't now in his office, watching my reaction and laughing his head off because he has found my ultimate weakness?

"I know." Haymitch nods awkwardly. We both know feelings aren't really his thing, neither are heart-to-heart conversations.

"Haymitch, if this happened to a _victor_, can you imagine what will happen to the others?" I ask, going into business.

"I actually think this was on purpose. Your song wasn't exactly peaceful," he mutters.

"You're telling me that Snow told Thread to punish Gale to get back at me?" I ask, the guilt slowly making its way into my bloodstream.

"It's a possibility, and I'm sure that if it had been him doing a rebellious act in television you'd be the one in that table." He grumbles and I sigh.

"Where's my sister?" I ask, changing subject and looking around for Katniss but not finding her around.

"Peeta took her upstairs, said it was late and she should sleep."

Haymitch explains but I know my sister isn't sleeping. She's probably crying while Peeta tries to calm her down, Katniss hates seeing me cry.

I turn on my feet and walk slowly to the kitchen door, there I lean into it and watch the scene before me. Hazelle hasn't moved from Gale's side but that's normal, I wouldn't either. My mother stands on one side, watching Gale with concern etched to her features. That cannot be good. I walk silently to her and meet her eyes, her expression softens and she puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, mom." I whisper, making sure neither Hazelle nor Gale can hear me. The last thing I want is for him to bleed again. "I don't hate you, I just—I don't know I just—"

"It's okay. People do and say crazy things when the people they love are hurt and in pain." She explains to me, her eyes shifting to Gale and back to me.

"Is he going to be okay?" I ask, my voice trembling but not breaking yet.

"He's young and that means he's strong." She says carefully. "At least the wounds won't get infected, which would be very bad, and…"

"Mom, just tell me the truth." I cut her off, not liking the way she's acting.

"The worst has passed, but I'm not sure if he'll be in danger again throughout the night. It's possible; he's lost way too much blood for my liking. We'll just have to wait."

What little hope I had vanishes completely, even more so when there's a hurried knock on the door.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 18:**

My first thought was the Peacekeepers were here to get him. My second thought was that they might be here for me. It never occurred to me that I'd open the door to a practically frozen and trembling with cold Margaret Undersee.

"Madge?" Katniss, who went down at the sound of the knock, asks.

"Give this to your friend." She says, quickly shoving a lidded box into Katniss' hands and running off before we can say anything.

"Weird girl." Haymitch mutters and I nod, still a little stunned.

We enter the kitchen to find that Gale's worse. His jaw is locked in a painful way and his forehead is covered in sweat. Whatever effect what my mother gave him had has vanished. I open the box and give my mother a vial full of clear liquid: Morphling. I had never see Morphling firsthand before. She fills a syringe with it and shoots it in his arm; Gale's face relaxes almost instantly.

"What's that?" Peeta asks, curious.

"Morphling, it's stuff from the Capitol." I explain to him.

"I didn't know Madge knew Gale." Peeta comments and I frown, the wave of jealousy filling my stomach surprising me.

"We used to sell her strawberries." Katniss says quickly, taking my arm.

She must have seen me tense and wanted to comfort me but, why should I be comforted? Gale's mine, I'm his. Always. A little girl's crush on him should never make me insecure; all the girls in the district want him or at least almost all the girls. No girl had given him a very expensive and almost impossible to acquire medicine, though.

"She must have quite a taste for them." Haymitch mutters, suggestively.

"She's one of our friends, all right?" I snap, cutting any kind of further comments.

Once Gale drifts into unconsciousness, everyone relaxes a bit. Prim forces us all to eat, although I can only swallow two small bites of stew. Eventually Hazelle goes, knowing that if anything were to change overnight we'll tell her, she lives next door after all. Peeta is offered a spare room because the walk all the way to town with this weather is dangerous; I know that room will remain empty, though. He'll be with Katniss all night. Haymitch goes at the same time Hazelle does. My sisters and mother leave me alone in the kitchen.

I take Hazelle's position, sitting next to him and holding his hand. My eyes study his face, landing on every little feature. Soon my other hand finds his face, my fingers trail from his forehead to his jaw, where there's slight stubble.

If I focus on his face long enough I can pretend he's just sleeping like any other night. I can forget his back, or the blood that I can still see in my hands, although I've washed them twice. I can forget my ruined coat and my own wounds or the fact that Madge Undersee is in love with my boyfriend. I can forget I almost lost him forever. Instead I can focus on old memories, like the first time he talked to me at school or our first Seam party, laughing so hard we couldn't breathe, birthdays and hugs, having each other's back at all times even when we were angry with each other.

My vision starts to blur with tears when I realize I could have lost him today and we wouldn't be able to have new memories. I lean on the table, one hand still clutching his and the other running through his dark hair, and let out a shaky breath. This is Snow's fault. He decided to make me pay for what's happening in the districts by hurting the person I love the most. A few tears stream down my face when I realize that, yes, Snow might be responsible for the new Head Peacekeeper but _I'm _the one who pulled those berries, _I'm_ the one who gave the people hope, _I'm_ the one who gave the rebellion the last final small push it needed. If I hadn't sung, he wouldn't have told Thread to take revenge.

"I'm so sorry." I sniff, resting my forehead against his.

My voice comes off as a small whisper, so unlike me. His eyelids flutter open and beautiful gray eyes stare at me. I blink; I didn't think he'd wake up with that many painkillers in his system.

"Heather?" He asks, blinking the sleep off of his eyes.

"Hey." I whisper softly.

"What happened to your face?" He asks me, alarmed.

He tries to lift up his head but frowns, resting his head back on the table. The Morphling is very strong but he can still feel a little pain and by the look on his eyes I'm pretty sure he's not fully awake yet.

"I got in the way." I explain. "Don't move, I don't want you to start bleeding again. It was really hard to stop it."

He frowns and takes my hand, squeezing it. My voice has come out harsher than I intended but that's the only way I can deal with pain. He still doesn't deserve this and the hurt that flashes through his eyes makes fresh tears come to my eyes. I lower my head so it's resting on the table; we are inches away from each other.

He lifts his hand and puts it in my cheek, making me close my eyes. A few tears spill and he wipes them away. I don't open my eyes.

"Does it hurt?" He whispers and I shake my head, willing myself to meet his gaze.

"What about you, how much does it hurt?" I ask him, my eyes flutter to his bandaged back before going back to his.

He kisses my hand and doesn't answer, keeping his lips pressed to my palm.

"I love you." He mutters against my hand and I manage a small smile in return. "And I'm sorry."

"What for?" I frown.

"I promised I'd be with you for your birthday but I just saw you for a few minutes." he mutters.

It had bothered me but now there are more important matters, the fact that he hasn't been with me all day is long forgotten. I lean in and brush my lips to his.

"It doesn't matter anymore; I'm just glad you're here and that I didn't lose you."

He gives me a faint smile but his eyelids start to get heavier and his eyes stay close for longer periods of time now.

"Go back to sleep, Gale. I'll be here tomorrow." I whisper to him, giving him another peck on the lips.

I don't have to tell him twice.

When I wake, I'm no longer in the kitchen but in my room. I sit up, groaning at the pain in my cheek and collar bone but shake the feeling away. Gale got much worse. That thought is what gets me to get up. I go to the bathroom and get dressed, not bothering to know what I'm wearing and go downstairs. When I enter the kitchen I realize Gale's not here. I frown and turn to face Peeta and Katniss, who are standing by the counter. Peeta smiles at me but Katniss frowns at my face, clearly looking at my swollen cheek.

"He's in one of the spare rooms downstairs." Peeta explains to me. "Your mother is with him."

"Oh, well, thank you." I answer, not expecting this piece of information at all.

I walk to the only bedroom downstairs. My mother would have asked me to help her, I'm sure. So why didn't she wake me? Maybe she just wanted me to have a good night's sleep, yes, that must be it. I knock and wait for a few seconds, then my mother opens the door and walks out.

"Hi, how did you sleep?" she asks me, grabbing my chin so she can take a look at my wound. "That doesn't look that good, but don't worry it won't be that swollen tomorrow."

"How's Gale? Can I see him?" I ask her, looking over her shoulder at the door.

Her small smile falters a little but she amends it quickly enough for someone not to notice, I have lived with her my whole life so, obviously, I notice.

"Well, he's fine but… he doesn't want any visits for now." She explains carefully.

"What? What are you talking about?" I ask, not even complaining when she takes my hand and starts to walk toward the living room.

"Listen, that's completely normal. He lost a lot of blood, he's still weak and he doesn't want anyone watching him in that state." She tries to make me understand but I'm still frowning.

"But it's me. I've seen him wounded." I protest.

She sighs and looks down, not knowing how to continue the conversation. I realize that this is the longest I've spoken to my mother since Dad died. She doesn't know me anymore; she doesn't know how I'll react. Suddenly, I find myself wanting Katniss to be here, I want her to be the one telling me my boyfriend doesn't want to see me.

"Katniss." I call out to the kitchen.

My mother glances at me and then at the living room door as Katniss appears. My sister walks to me and sits down, her hunting senses telling her I'm stressed out without me having to tell her.

"Heather," my mother starts. "You can always talk to him tomorrow, this is normal behavior. You know that."

I nod and Katniss squeezes my hand. When my mother leaves, I smile at Katniss, glad to have such a nice sister and glad to know that I haven't lost her yet. Because I have a feeling that this behavior of his won't be temporal and that I'll need my sisters more than anything.

Two days pass, three days pass and Gale doesn't let me see him yet. I now know it's not him not wanting visitors because his family has come and go as they please, spending hours with him. I tell myself I can't be envious, that it is his family, that they have privileges over me. but I'm still furious, why the hell doesn't he want to see me? that's why when my mother says she's taking his tray of food to his bedroom I volunteer to take it.

"Hey, I brought soup." I tell him as I enter the room.

He's sitting on the bed, doing pretty much nothing, a frown etched to his features. He doesn't say anything, doesn't even look my way and I frown. My anger returning. I put the tray on the bed and glare at him, my hands on my hips.

"The good thing to say is thank you, Heather, that's nice of you." I snap at him.

His eyes go to me for a second but they look away again. I'm fuming now.

"Thank you, Heather." He grunts my way and I'm a little taken aback.

His voice is completely void of emotion, he's gritting his teeth, he won't look at me. He's never acted this way around me. To the people he hates? Oh, that's completely normal behavior. But to me? never. I'm hurt.

"I don't understand. First you don't want me to see you, you don't give any kind of explanation, the least you could do is look at me." I say, my voice rising.

He doesn't say anything for a long time and I'm scared he won't say anything. But then his eyes turn to mine and the frown leaves his face, I don't understand why he looks blurry until I realize I have tears in my eyes.

"Heather, I just—you don't understand." He runs a hand through his hair and winces, the gesture hurting his back.

"Then make me understand, please." I plead, refusing to let the tears fall.

"I can't, I just need some time, okay?" he tells me and I feel like Clove is stabbing me with one of her favorite knives.

He needs some time, from everyone or just from me? time from the world, from Snow? Whatever I was about to scream at him dies in my throat and instead I just nod, trying to swallow through the knot on my throat.

"That's—eat your food." I shake my head. "I'll be for you whenever you need me."

I leave the room without waiting for an answer and finally let the tears fall as I lean against the closed door. A week after that I have my photo shoot, I try to put as much enthusiasm as I can but I know it's still not enough. Gale left to his house three days after he told me he needed time, I haven't talk to him yet. I don't leave the house at all in the entire week, Katniss tells me that there are all kinds of torture objects in town and that Gale's turkey is still hanging, his blood's still on the floor.

One evening after the Capitol people have left, I look over the window that overlooks Gale's house and what I see surprises me. Standing outside the door is Madge Undersee and next to her is no other than my boyfriend: Gale Hawthorne. I wait until Madge leaves and go outside, walking toward him.

"So you talk to everyone but me, that's it, uh? 'need some time' my ass." I say as soon as I've crossed my front lawn.

He looks surprised before regaining composure; God forbids Gale Hawthorne shows any kind of emotion when people want him to. I walk up to him, tilting my head so I can meet his eyes.

"What? Listen Heather, it's not like that." He starts.

"So explain it to me. You know I was being patient. I thought, well he went through a lot, it's perfectly normal that he wants some time away from everything." I start, moving my hands around so I can make my point more obvious.

"But now I see you're talking to _her._" I point to Madge Undersee's general direction, although I know she's not here.

"What's wrong with her?" He frowns down at me. "She got me the medicine that saved my life, Heather, I was thanking her."

I stop for a minute at that, unconsciously glaring at him. How dare he say that? Sure, The Morphling helped him with the pain, but it didn't save his life. There was a possibility that he'd die with the Morphling. It all went down to how much blood he had lost. She didn't save him, I did._ I_ threw myself between him and the whip,_ I_ got hit, _I_ got his blood all over me.

"Excuse me? And I didn't save you, right? I mean, it's not like I have a scar in my collar bone to prove it or anything." I snap at him.

His face changes so quickly I don't see it coming. He goes from annoyed to hurt to worried to angry faster than I've ever seen him. If I hadn't been making eye contact I probably wouldn't have caught it.

"Right, but she didn't have to do any of that. I don't even know her and she stole it from her mother, Heather." He tells me bitterly.

I seriously don't know what's gotten into him. A week ago he hated Madge and now she's gone from being the District Princess—and not in a good way.—to Saint Madge of District 12.

"Oh, please, she only did that because she's in love with you." I tell him.

"Are you jealous? Is that what this is about?" he asks me, incredulous.

"No!" I answer quickly. "This is about you pushing me out."

We remain quietly for a moment, none of us looking at the other. it starts to snow again but I don't pay attention to it.

"You're making it really hard to be with you, Heather." He mutters and I blink. That's not what I expected him to say, I was actually expecting him to apologize.

"Well, then let me make this easier for you. We're done." I angrily snap at him and turn around, walking to my house with one thought in my mind: _what did I just do?_


	20. Chapter 20

**_Chapter 19:_**

If I was sad before, now I'm devastated. I refuse to leave my room, I don't eat, I don't talk to anyone. Katniss tells me the mines are closed, that hunger is more present than ever. I'm too selfish to try and do something, I don't even go to the meetings with Haymitch and Finnick and Johanna. The weeks pass by; I don't know anything that's going on with the rebellion. One day, Katniss barges into my room and pulls me out of my bed.

"This is it," Katniss mutters as she lays my hunting clothes in front of me to wear. "We are hunting, just you and me."

I shake my head, my eyesight blurring with tears. I can't go to the woods; they remind me of Gale too much. I can't hunt, I'll remember of the time we hunt our first rabbit all by ourselves, I'll remember the time I taught him how to use the bow an arrows. I'm about to tell Katniss that this is useless when I see her face. She's frowning and biting her lips, she has dark bags under her eyes. I realize she's not much better than I am and it's my fault. I dress quietly and follow her down the stairs, my hands going up to my eyes and rubbing them, it's been a few days since they've seen bright light.

What I see downstairs is a step toward snapping me out of selfish bubble. I'm not completely out of it yet, but I'm definitely half-way there. The living room, the kitchen, the dining room, all of them are full of sick people, of dying people, of hungry children, of people with slashed backs that remind me too much of Gale. My mother has been accepting and tending to many people, she doesn't even charge them for it. We grab our coats from the coat rag and go outside. Katniss takes the game bag and follows me silently. She takes lead as I'm sure she knows I've no idea where she wants to go. She starts to walk to the weak spot of the fence that's close to the butcher's; I notice that the ground is full of footmarks, so no one will know which ones are ours.

"Don't worry too much," Katniss says as she sees me studying the fence for its familiar buzzing. "Thread has done many security upgrades, there's more surveillance around the District, but he's paid no attention to the fence."

"Oh," I say as I don't know what to answer.

"Yeah, 'oh'." She shakes her head. "Nothing is the same anymore, sis; if I were you, I'd stay close to me."

Her words stop me right when she's crossing the fence. The tone of her voice, the bitterness behind her gray eyes. That was the same way I would talk to her about the Capitol when we were young, the same way I'd warn her not to go too far into the woods because I knew best, I always knew best.

"Are you coming?" Katniss asks me, annoyed.

I slid under the fence and walk past her, to our place where we keep the bows and arrows. I take mine and turn to face her, waiting for her to at least tell me where we're going. She walks past me and starts for the road that I know leads to the lake, the old lake where dad taught us how to swim, where I fished for the first time, where Katniss lost her first tooth.

The cold makes us slower but when we finally reach the old house, right next to the river, neither Katniss nor I stop to study our surroundings. It is not the trail of smoke coming out of the chimney or the footsteps in front of us that lead up to the house that makes us stop short. It is the distinctive sound of a gun being readied. I swirl around; drawing back an arrow, my mind barely registers Katniss doing the same beside me. I see the peacekeeper's uniform, the gun pointing at us, the gray eyes behind the mask, and choose a target, most likely the eye. But before I can let my arrow go, the woman drops the gun and stretches her hand out to me.

"Stop," she tells me, moving her hand so I can see what's in it better.

In her hand is a rounded object, a cracker. In it is a stamped figure of a bird, wait, no, not just a bird: my mockingjay. I blink up at her, my eyes go from the cracker to her eyes, the only part of her face I see, and back to the cracker. People in the Districts and the rebellion have been using my mockingjay pin as a sign.

"Oh," I mutter. "_Oh,"_ I say again, this time a little more loudly.

What is wrong with me today? It is almost like all vocabulary has jumped out of my mind. _Oh_ and _mmm_ are the only things that seem to get out of my mouth. I lower my bow and take the cookie, examining it closely.

"Are you out of your mind? Gale totally damaged you." Katniss hisses and I turn to her, an eyebrow raised. "She'll kill us." She exclaims, ready to shoot.

I put my hand on her bow and lower it, shaking my head at her and giving her a hard look. She thought she was on her element back on the District, well, the rebellion is _my _element. She isn't making me feel useless here.

"What is this?" Katniss asks, taking the cracker from me when I pass it to her.

"It's a mockingjay, and well, it means…" I start but my mouth fades. I can't tell Katniss, she's not ready to know.

"It means we're on your side." A new voice says behind us and I turn.

A small frame appears into sight, I realize with a start that it's a girl not much older than Katniss, maybe younger. She's wearing a peacekeeper uniform as well but it is too big on her. She limps toward us and glances between Katniss and I, her gaze lingering on my face. Her cheeks are red from the cold and she has a small birthmark above one of her chocolate-colored eyes. She's not from District 12 and she's most certainly _not _from the Capitol.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"My name's Twill and that's Bonnie," the older woman explains. "We ran away from District 8."

District 8, the place were the uprisings truly began. Were they a part of it? Did they take part on it? The girl, I doubt it but the woman is old enough to be an active member of the rebellion. She had a mockingjay cracker, maybe she is one of the inters that were working for the rebellion in other districts.

"Why does that cracker have my sister's pin?" Katniss asks. Her tone is still guarded; she hasn't lowered her bow completely.

"You don't know?" Bonnie asks, surprised. "You do know, right?" she directs the last question at me, her eyes widened.

I nod and, then, feel the need to add: "She doesn't know anything."

I hope they understand I'm asking them not to tell her, that I need her to be in the dark for as long as possible, for my own sanity, for hers.

"I know you had an uprising at 8." Katniss shrugs, like it's not a big deal.

My eyes widen and I turn to her, she's avoiding my eyes. How did she know? I told Gale in private, we were _alone_. Bonnie and Twill nod.

"That's why we had to get out." Twill explains.

"And now what? Were you just sitting here waiting for me to appear?" I ask her. "I can't help you, not yet."

"We're going to 13." Twill confesses and the blood leaves my face.

District 13, the District that got blew up seventy-five years ago. At least that's what everyone thinks, turns out they made a pact with the Capitol: the Capitol let them live and they'd pretend to be dead, stop helping the other districts, they'd survive. They would wait until they were strong enough to actually defeat the Capitol; they'd wait until the other districts were ready for a rebellion. That's now.

"There's no 13, it got blown off the map." Katniss frowns.

"Seventy-five years ago." I nod, biting my lip.

"Are you being followed?" I ask again, watching as Bonnie winces when her weight falls on her ankle.

"No, it's a fluke we got out." Twill admits.

Katniss and I share a look. She's mentally trying to tell me not to go inside, while I'm desperately trying to make her see they need us. _You're mental;_ she seems to say before turning to the door and barging in. Bonnie makes a bee-line for the fire; she sits in front of it and starts to rub her hands, trying to warm them. Twill puts a cloak around her to keep her warm, in the fire there's a pot with water and some pine needles.

"Making tea?" Katniss asks, eyeing the rusty pot.

"I think so, we saw this guy do this a few years back in The Hunger Games," Twill answers. "At least I think it was pine needles."

I remember going to District 8. The place was full of factories and toxic fumes, there was hardly any grass. I wonder how these two have managed this far.

"And no food?" I ask.

"Yeah, we took everything we could but food was rare. Everything is lately." Bonnie tells me and her voice quivers.

"Then this is your lucky day." Katniss tells them as she retrieves some of Peeta's cheese buns and gives one each.

Bonnie's face lights up at the piece of breath and a pang of longing and pain invades my chest. Rue had a similar look when I gave her the turkey leg, back in the arena when we had our little break before Marvel killed her while trying to kill me.

"Okay, tell me what happened." I say.

And they did. Their story went like this: ever since the hunger games, the tension in District 8 grew. It had always been there but now, talking wasn't enough. People wanted action. The factories machines were loud and it wasn't hard for word to get around. Bonnie was Twill's pupil and after school both of them worked at the factory for 4 hours. It took Bonnie months to finally steal both uniforms. When Gale and I went there in our victory tour, that day was the uprising's rehearsal. Everyone positioned themselves in their places with their teams. The plan was to attack the most important places of the District, especially those were power was concentrated. They were going to take over the Justice Building, the Peacekeepers Headquarters, the Communication Center, the granary, the power station and the armory.

The day we went to the Capitol, the night I sang and believed no one had heard me, was the day the uprisings began. Apparently they had heard and they had understood the message I was trying to send. They were all outside their houses because the interview was mandatory viewing so they took it as an opportunity; everyone was in place when 8 o'clock came and the masks came down. The peacekeepers were taken by surprise at first, they didn't know how to handle so many people at once and the uprising had the upper hand. The rebels started to take the peacekeepers weapons as they took over their stations. Hope started to fill the air but their success didn't last long, peacekeepers started to arrive by the thousand and hovercrafts bombed the place down to ashes. Chaos erupted; it was all people could do to make it back to their homes alive. In less than 48 hours everything was subsided. Then for about a week, there was no food, no coal, no work or school for anyone. They couldn't even leave their homes. After a week, everything went back to normal.

They both went to school and when they were walking toward the fabric, they had to take a different path because the usual one was destroyed; they discovered the factory had exploded, killing everyone inside it, including Bonnie's family and Twill's husband. They went back to Twill's place and took everything they could and ran away, using the peacekeepers' uniforms as a disguise.

"I have a question, though. What are you planning on doing once you reach District 13?" I ask them, knowing quite well that District 13 is practically a jail. I've never spoken to someone from there but Haymitch's stories are not nice.

"That's not the question, Heather. District 13 is nothing but ash and soil, we've seen the footage. You're being suicidal." Katniss says, looking at them like they're mad.

"But they've used the same footage for as long as any of us can remember." Twill explains. "If you look closely enough, you'll see it."

"See what exactly?" Katniss asks, interested.

"A mockingjay, right in the right corner. It's the same one every time." I mutter. "They use the same footage; they don't really send someone back there."

Katniss looks at me in disbelief and I know I've said too much. I see the betrayal in her gray eyes, the way her nostrils flare up and I know I messed up. But I had to say something; I had to at least give her a hint that I know something big is happening. A little hint for her to join the dots and figure everything out. Then her eyes go back to Twill and Bonnie.

"That's what you're basing yourself on? You think you'll go and find a perfect city and people? Yeah, because the Capitol is gonna let that happen." Katniss scoffs.

"No, we believe people moved underground. We think they've managed to survive and that the Capitol leaves them alone because their specialty is nuclear weaponry." Twill tells her.

"They took care of graphite mines." Katniss says, unsure.

"They're our only hope." Bonnie mumbles.

We fall silent after that. Bonnie has no home, no family, of course she sees District 13 as the knight in shining armor. But I don't know how 13 is like, I've never been there. Can I really let them leave into the uncertain?

"Listen," I order them. "I don't know anything about 13, just what I just said. You should stay here, I'm sure we can make something up. It's safer and it'd mean I could help you, really help you." I tell them once they look up at me.

"And how? Pretend to be someone we're not? Risk everyone's life? District 13 is the best option, we're going there." Twill retorts and I sigh.

Katniss and I share a look and I nod at her, signalizing to the game bag. She opens it and gives Twill and Bonnie all the food we have there. It's mostly beans and grains but if they know how to use it, it'll last them a few days. Maybe enough for them to get to 13 and see if they're actually generous enough to let them stay.

Then I give Twill a knife and ask Katniss to hunt down a rabbit. When she comes back I instruct Twill how to skin and properly cook the rabbit. Then I teach Bonnie how to make a proper fire and take them outside to show them some of the edible plants and what kind of tea they can make with some of the plants.

"Well, we've got to go. Take care, all right?" I hesitate at the door.

"I can't believe I got to meet you." Bonnie cries, hugging my middle and reminding me of Rue. I put my arms around her. "You're so brave and pretty and talented, I wish I was like you."

"I'm not that special." I mumble as Katniss smiles at me.

"Oh, and Gale." Bonnie sighs dreamily, still hugging me, and I laugh. "You two are so perfect, so in love."

"Ok, Bonnie." I say, my smile slightly pained. "You're going to promise me you'll be just as brave as me, if not braver, until you reach 13 and even then."

She steps back from me and nods, her eyes wide. Then I hug Twill. They both hug Katniss as well and we part. I pray they will make it. Katniss walks next to me, incredibly quiet and I can practically hear the wires in her head working together, trying to figure out what's going on.

"Katniss, you can't tell anyone about that. Not mom, not Prim, not Madge and especially not Peeta." I start.

"So it's true?" she asks me harshly.

"I—Katniss, I don't know." I stutter as we put our weapons back into the hollow tree.

"I'm not sure if there's a rebellion per say," I lie. "But I accidentally saw the uprising while I was at the Mayor's office."

"What about District 13? Is that true, are they underground?" she questions me and I shrug.

"I don't know, all I know is the thing about the mockingjay," I lie again. "I realized that last year when I got sick and stayed home for two weeks straight."

That wasn't a lie, I just hadn't thought much about it then.

"Why can't I tell anyone?" she wonders, by now we're already at the fence.

"Because of Snow, you know that." I scowl at her.

She goes to go over the fence and right when she's about to put her hand around the wire, I stop her. She looks at me quizzically and I put a finger near my ear, signalizing her to listen. We had been talking so it was easy for us to not hear it, but now that we are completely silent it is very easy for us to hear the buzz that indicates the fence is on.


	21. Chapter 21

**_Chapter 20:_**

Katniss' eyes widen and she runs back to the trees, I follow her. It's dark, which means the trees cover us, hiding us from everything. A white-gloved hand reaches out to her face as she presses her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle her loud gasp. Has Thread decided to leave us here? Has he done this so he can prove to the Capitol I've always broken the rules? He'll kill Katniss and make me watch. I'm sure.

"Katniss, they don't know we're not home." I whisper to her as the thought occurs to me.

It's been ages since we've been stuck here; it's been decades since the fence has been on. Usually Gale, Katniss and I would sit somewhere and relax, waiting until the electricity was off again. Prim would pass by and check if it was on, if we were late. That way mom wouldn't worry. But nobody knows we're here.

"What do we do?" she whispers back.

My eyes go to one side of the fence to the other. The only way is to go over it, and for that we need a big tree. A few feet away from us is a huge maple tree, one of its branches is large enough that it goes over the fence and ends a few feet into the meadow. I point at it and Katniss nods, we climb it. The tree branch moves dangerously as we near its end but I try to balance myself as best as possible.

"Shit." I hear Katniss mutter and glance back.

She's looking down at the meadow, one of her legs dangling. I look down as well and the blood leaves my face. We've got to be at least 23 feet high. That's a very long way to fall, but what other option do we have? I sigh and move a little farther down the branch. I put one leg down, letting it dangle, and pass the other over. Soon, I only have my hands as support. I look down once more, the snow might or might not soften my fall, I glance at Katniss who nods at me and then let go off of the branch. I fight the urge to scream as I fall into the snow, my feet go unharmed but I fall to one side and land on my wrist. The pain that shoots from my wrist up my arm to my shoulder is so great I know I broke it. My left side hurts but it's mostly sore, I sit up and look up at Katniss, who is already hanging from her hands. She lets go but her fall isn't as graceful as mine and her foot twists when she falls. Her behind receives a big hit too.

"You okay?" I ask her, lying down beside her.

"Never again," She moans and shakes her head. I can't help it, I laugh. She joins me and soon we're a mess in the snow-covered ground, laughing so hard it hurts.

"Oookay, let's go." I drawl as I try to get up. "Ugh, my back is killing me."

"Don't even get me started on my ankle." She complains as I help her get up.

I put one arm around her waist as she put one of her own around my shoulders and help her walk; we start to make our way into town. We stop at one shop and I go in, Katniss waits outside, I buy some bandages and then go to the other shop and by some chocolate kisses. Then I help Katniss again until we make it home.

"Can you walk? Mom will freak if we walk in with me carrying you." I ask Katniss, who nods.

We enter the kitchen, a smile in both our faces, when I suddenly freeze. In the doorway to the kitchen are two peacekeepers, a man and a woman. The man's face flickers with surprise but the woman keeps an indifferent face on. I know they know the fence is on and that they expect us to be in the other side of it.

"Hello," Katniss says in a neutral voice.

Mom appears behind them and smiles. "Oh, there they are. Just in time for dinner." Her voice is incredibly cheery.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I pull off my coat and put it behind the door. Katniss does the same but doesn't take her shoes off. I leave my gloves on, hoping it might hide the way my wrist is quickly swelling.

"Head Peacekeeper Thread has a message for you." The woman says stiffly.

"Must be important." I shrug at Katniss.

"Can I ask where have you and your sister been, Miss Everdeen?" The man questions me as I follow Katniss into the kitchen.

Everyone is there. Peeta, Haymitch, Prim, Gale and mom. Prim is standing nervously near the fire, Haymitch and Peeta are playing chess at one side and Gale is sitting at the table, his camera in his hands. Katniss leaves her game bag on the table and goes over to Peeta and rests her hands at the back of his chair, supporting her weight.

"Well, it'd be better to ask where we weren't," I say instead, looking pointedly at Prim.

"All right, where haven't you been?" Haymitch asks, not even looking up from the chessboard.

"Well, we haven't been talking to the goat man about getting Prim's goat pregnant because someone told Katniss the wrong address," I say with an annoyed tone as I look at Prim.

"No, I didn't. I told her exactly how to get there." Prim protests.

"Katniss!" I turn to my sister.

"No, you didn't," she tells Prim as she jumps from my outburst. "You said he lives next to the west entrance of the mines."

"No, I didn't." Prim retorts. "I said east, next to the slag heap."

"There's no slag heap in the east area." I chime in, shaking my head.

"Of course there is, we make out there all the time." Gale suddenly laughs, looking up at me and snapping a picture.

"Too much information," Katniss frowns.

"Really? Wait, Prim, when did you say that?" I ask, acting confused.

"Last night." Haymitch jumps in.

"She definitely said east, Katniss." Peeta looks up at my sister.

"No, she didn't." she retorts.

Haymitch and Peeta share a look and burst out laughing. Katniss frowns and I take a step forward to the table, pulling the game bag toward me with my left hand.

"Sorry, it's just that people tell you things and you don't listen." Peeta says, still laughing but trying to control it.

"She's not the only one; Heather is pretty much the same. I think is an Everdeen trait." Gale comments.

"Gale Hawthorne!" I gasp, laughing a little.

"It's the truth, I bet people told you he didn't live there and you didn't listen," He tells me, getting up and walking toward me.

"Shut up, you guys." Katniss mutters proving that he is right and making us all laugh again. We really are good actors.

Peeta takes Katniss and makes her sit in his lap; I notice that she relaxes slightly, her heel not having to support her weight anymore. I turn to the peacekeepers. The man is smiling but the woman is looking at us, unconvinced. She gestures to the game bag and asks:

"What's in the bag?"

I pour the contents of it in the table, careful to not use my right hand too much. My mother walks to the table and takes the bandages, smiling gratefully at me.

"I was running out of those," She says as she takes the bandages and walks away.

"Ooh, chocolate," Haymitch says as he takes the bag and grabs a handful.

"Hey, those are mine and Katniss'" I say, trying to snatch them away.

Haymitch throws the little bag at Peeta who takes another handful and starts to eat it, showing me each piece of chocolate before putting in his mouth. Katniss laughs as he gives her one.

"No, that's not fair. None of you deserve _my_ chocolate." I huff. When none of them pay attention to me, I turn to Gale. "Gale, do something."

"Okay, guys, drop it." he laughs, taking my right hand and pulling me toward him. I mask my shriek of pain as a squeal but he notices.

He puts his arms around me and looks down at me, a smile tugging at his lips. "Would you rather we say you and Catnip over there are right?" I nod and he continues. "All right, Prim said west and you always listen when we speak."

"Sure, yes." Peeta adds, tossing the bag of chocolate at me.

I grab it and toss a chocolate kiss into my mouth, enjoying the taste of it. Gale takes one and eats it, not before giving me a kiss on the temple.

"Better? Now smile." He orders me before positioning the camera right in front of me.

I stick my tongue out at the camera as he snaps the picture and puts the camera in the table, putting his arms around me again. I try to keep my face as happy and at ease as possible. The peacekeepers can't know we're over, they'd tell Thread, who would tell the Capitol. The whole 'I only did it for love.' would blow up in our faces.

"So, you have a message for us?" Katniss says, looking at the peacekeepers. I tear my gaze away from Gale and turn to them as if realizing for the first time they're there.

"Head Peacekeeper Thread wanted us to let you and Mr. Hawthorne know that the fence around District 12 will have electricity 24/7." The woman says.

"Oh, my! I thought it was always on," I say innocently.

"We wanted you to know, just in case. We wouldn't want Mr. Hawthorne to be electrocuted." The woman adds and I clench my jaw.

"We've never been outside the fence," I say a little harshly. Gale tenses but doesn't say anything, if anything his hold tightens around me. "Now, if you have nothing else to say, I'd like to have dinner with my family."

The woman's jaw tightens. She was obviously expecting another outcome but she has nothing else to do here. She turns and walks out, the man trailing behind her. Moments later we hear the door slam close and everyone lets out a breath. I move away from Gale and drive my right hand closer to me, cradling it. Katniss gets up and limps toward some cushions near the fire and sits down.

"What happened?" mom asks.

"I slip and fell on some ice." Katniss mumbles.

"And she thought I'd be nice to bring me down with her," I say as I take some bandages and hand them to my mother. "Her ankle is broken and I'm pretty sure she'll have a huge bruise in her a—"

"Heather." Katniss cut in, glaring.

"Sorry," I say. "My right wrist is broken. Thank you, by the way, for pulling me by it." I snap at Gale.

"How was I supposed to know?" he snaps back, gray eyes glaring at me.

"Well, I don't know, Gale." I shoot as Prim starts to bandage my wrist. "Maybe pay attention and realize I'm not using my right hand when I'm right-handed."

He sits down on the table again and throws his hands in the air. "This is exactly what I was talking about the other day."

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I making it difficult for you to be here?" I say; sarcasm in my voice. "Maybe I should call Madge and ask her what she does to make you think her company is enjoyable."

"That's not fair; I told you I was simply thanking her," He says back and I roll my eyes.

"Right, right, because she _saved_ your life." I mock. "Can you believe him? _She_ saved his life, nobody _else_," I tell Peeta and Katniss.

"Gale, that's mean." Katniss scowls. He ignores her.

"Again with that? Heather, you're being ridiculous." He grunts and I take a step back.

"Oh, my God. I think I _will_ call Madge, maybe that way she can tell me how to talk to my boyfriend without having him think I'm useless—or, you know what? Maybe she can even tell me when he stopped loving me," I say, my voice is raised at the end.

"Heather…" he says, his features softening. "It's not like that, it's…"

"Shut _up_, Hawthorne. I'm done here." I bite my lip, hating the way my voice breaks at the end. Prim lets go off my hand and I turn around, walk to the table, take the bag of chocolate and walk out of there, not making eye contact with anyone.

"Great job, Gale." I hear Katniss snap at Gale, the sound muffled by the kitchen door.

I walk down the corridor until I reach the room where the piano is. I can't play with my right hand but I can still play something with my left one. I sit on the bench and let my fingers roam around the keys, not playing a real song, just making noise. I don't care. It's a better stress-releaser that hitting Gale over the head with a spatula. After a few minutes, Prim enters the room. She sits next to me and starts to play with her right hand, matching the tune I'm making up.

"Won't you have dinner?" she asks me softly.

"I'm not hungry." I mumble.

"Heather? You're not ridiculous, he is." She tells me and I laugh slightly. I think is adorable how she tries to cheer me up.

"Thank you, little duck." I kiss her cheek and she smiles.

"Love you, Heather." She says as she gets up.

"I love you, too." I tell her as she goes back to the kitchen, probably for dinner.

The next morning I wake up at 11:30 A.M. it's been weeks since I've woken up this late into the morning but I don't care. Mom brings me breakfast to bed and tells me I can stay in bed until I want to leave, she also tells me Katniss has bed rest for a week and seeing as though I was also hurt I deserved to be pampered a little. I spend most of the days with Katniss and Peeta once I find out they're working on the family book, an old book with edible plant and herbs with healing qualities.

"Peeta, you're incredible." I say, amazed by how much his paintings resemble the real thing.

"Thanks, Heather." He smiles at me.

His blue eyes twinkle and his whole face lights up when he smiles; I realize that Peeta Mellark is very attractive, something I hadn't bothered to see until now, not only that but he's also a great person, very pure. I can't even picture him killing a bug. He's so different from feisty, revengeful Katniss that for a moment I don't know why they're together. But then I catch Katniss' facial expression, so peaceful, calmer than I've ever seen it, void of her ever-present frown. Peeta brings out a side of my sister I've never seen. A better side of her.

"You should draw her," Katniss suggests. "He's paint me hundreds of times, he's even better at portraits."

I faintly register the fact that Peeta is actually blushing, instead I focus on the distinctive sound of the phone ringing downstairs. I excuse myself and go down, jumping two steps at a time, and pick up. It's Cinna.

"Cinna, hey." I say. "How's everything over there?"

_"Good, I'm almost done with your dress for the opening ceremonies. I promise this time Gale and you don't match,"_ he laughs. "_Effie is ecstatic, though. She says she wants me to design one for her."_

"That's great, Cinna. Thank you," I say, playing with the cord of the phone. "How are Octavia and Venia?"

"_Well, Octavia is good although Venia is a little sad. She's hosting a party soon and she won't be able to serve any seafood, which is a shame, I do love crabs." _He comments and I stand a little straighter.

I realize that he hasn't called me just to catch up. He's acting more like a Capitol citizen than usual, although over the phone he's always more like them, something's happened.

"Why? Are they not on season? Do crabs even have seasons?" I ask.

_"Oh, no. it's just that the weather has been awful in District 4, horrible weather. We haven't gotten any seafood for weeks." _

Finnick is in District 4, no seafood for weeks, 'bad weather'. That can only mean one thing, there's been another uprising. I can't be sure, I haven't talked to him since my birthday.

"That's horrible, poor Venia. At least she has everything else she wants, right?" I ask him, now interested.

_"Yes, except for a music chip that holds more music than her old one. But she says she doesn't care, she can wait a few weeks."_ Electronics, that's District 3. Beetee is there.

"That must suck for her." I mumble.

"_Yeah, I have other bad news as well. Your dress will be dark red, not turquoise." _Cinna says and this time I don't have to feign disappointment.

"Why? Cinna, you promised I could choose the color of the dress." I complain, pouting although I know he can't see me.

He then explains to me that he's been having trouble getting fabrics, apparently there's a problem with the train rails and they can't get the fabrics from District 8 to The Capitol. I already knew about that uprising, but I'm surprised by how quickly things have escalated. We keep small talk for a few more minutes before I hang up. I go over to Haymitch's, deciding it's time for me to get fully out of my selfish save bubble and take care of this rebellion. Once I'm inside, I realize no one's around. I walk down the stairs and find Haymitch and Gale talking to Finnick.

"She's not here because smarty pants here messed up." Haymitch says and Gale grunts.

"Well, fix it. We can't keep having these conversations without her." Finnick protests as he runs a hand down his face.

I clear my throat and their attention snaps toward me, I walk over and smile at Finnick, ignoring Gale as I stand at Haymitch's other side.

"I'm here, finally," I say, smiling at the blonde.

"Good, well a lot has happened since you last came…" he starts but I interrupt him.

"District 8, 3 and 4 have had uprisings. The situation is getting worse, my song was the last straw for some Districts, Thread whipped Gale to get back at me and some people are actually talking about District 13 existing," I tell hem with a satisfactory smile on my face at their surprise.

"Have I left something out?" I add.

"There have also been some uprising in District 7 and 11." Gale mumbles, not looking my way.

"Good, now the other day Katniss and I went into the woods," I start and tell them everything from meeting Bonnie and Twill to how I really broke my wrist.

"I think we should fill Katniss in. She suspects something." I finish.

"No way, she's too volatile." Haymitch refuses right away and Finnick and Gale agree with him.

"Fine, how's everything going over there, Finn? You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm—we're okay." He nods and I smile. "Did you like your present?"

"You are kidding? I love it." I exclaim.

"She never takes it off." Gale grumbles and Finnick laughs as I lift up my hand to show him the bracelet.

"I hear jealousy." Finnick says in a singsong voice. I scoff while Gale babbles something incoherent.

A few days later, Prim comes from school saying there's going to be a mandatory viewing. At seven thirty, mom, Katniss, Prim and I sit in front of the T.V. Caesar Flickerman appears with a big smile on his face.

"This year is the Quarter Quell!" he announces. "And President Snow has some exciting news to tell us."

My heart pounds in my chest as I watch Snow walk to the center of the stage and take an envelope from a boy. He starts to speak, to remind us of the dark days, of how the hunger games began. Then he resolves to explain that every 25 years there'd be an extraordinary hunger games, called the Quarter Quell, meant to make fresh memory of all the blood spilled by the districts' rebellions.

"In the first Quarter Quell, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their decisions, every district had to vote for those to enter the Hunger Games." He says. The idea of having to vote for someone to enter the games makes my stomach hurl.

"On the fiftieth anniversary twice the number of tributes were send into the arena." He continues, his voice monotonous.

"I had a friend who went in that year." Mom suddenly says, her voice distant. "Maysilee Donner, her parents gave me her canary."

I squeeze her hand. That was the year Haymitch went in, I imagine how scared he must have been facing forty-seven tributes instead of twenty-three.

"On the third Quarter Quell, the seventy-fifth anniversary, there will be a twist." Snow says as he takes the card from the boy and opens it. "This year twice as many tributes will be also sent into the arena, but three of them will be reaped from those who are between seventeen and eighteen years of age."

Katniss takes a sharp breath in and my hands go up to my mouth, covering it. My heart is beating so fast and hard I'm sure they can hear it. _Calm down,_ I think, _it's nothing._ But I know I'm lying. Katniss is seventeen, she's my sister, she breaks the law and she has more slips than most of the other seventeen-year-olds. Besides that, Snow has already threatened her twice. He's obviously trying to break me; he almost did it with Gale. If he had died, I would've lost it. He can't take my sister away from me, that would damage me beyond repair.

"As for the fourth tribute," President Snow pauses. He waits until the cheering crowd calms down before continuing. "The remaining tribute, male or female depending on the third tribute's gender, will be reaped from their existing pool of victors." The crowd gasps at that and I find myself gasping with them.

Gale, Haymitch or I are going back into the arena. Finnick and Johanna are going in too. President Snow is clearly using this to take the most problematic victors and rebels out. All of us are that, even my sister.

"Now, there's one more thing." He continues like he just didn't tell them that twelve of their favorites of all time are about to die. "To prove to all of the rebels that courage is necessary and built, the permission to volunteer has been removed."

I look at the crowd's baffle expression for what feels like hours but in reality are only minutes. Then I get up slowly, give my sisters a small smile and am out of the door faster than I ever have been. I don't even take my coat. My first thought is the woods, but then I remember the fence is on. Instead I look for a secluded place at one corner of the Victor's Village, right behind one of the unused houses. The place has some trees and if I sit between them I can pretend I'm in the woods. I sit there and just wait for the world to disappear.

**_A/N: okay, guys, here's another chapter, I hope you enjoy it. now, I have some bad news. I'll be going on vacation and I come back on August 2. I won't be able to write or post there, there won't even be a computer, so I won't be able to post until after the_****___n. I promise I'll try to write as fast as possible once I'm back so I can post another chapter. We're nearing the Quarter Quell, am I the only one excited? anyway, review, favorite, just let me know what you think. love, _**

**___me._**


	22. Chapter 22

**_Chapter 21:_**

Somewhere along the way, I start to cry. At first, only small tears slide down my face but as President Snow's words echo through my mind over and over, they start to come down faster until I'm sobbing into my hands. Finnick will go in; Johanna is definitely going in, too. She and Finnick are two of the most powerful victors out there, they're the most influential. They will die, all because of me. Well, not necessarily because of me but close enough. Haymitch, the old man who I hated but now can't help but think of as family, might go in too. He's not in shape at all; he'd probably die at the blood bath. And Gale, if Gale goes in, I don't think I'd be able to take it. The thought of having to watch Gale die on national television makes me cry harder.

Then a thought crosses my mind, I might go in. it's a possibility. And the idea scares me so much; I dismiss it as fast as it comes up. I know I might go in but I can't think about it because if I do I won't be able to help the others. After a while, my sobs stop racking my body and I feel numb. I lift my head from my hands and wipe away the tears, getting up on shaky legs. When I turn, the sight in front of me makes me halt.

"Gale," I gasp, surprised at the fact that I hadn't hear him.

His face is in a broody frown as he walks up to me; his gray eyes connect with mine for the first time in what feels like ages. I feel like crying but no tears come. One of his hands reaches out to my face, his fingers curl around one strand of golden hair that fell on my face and he tugs it over my ear. I break eye contact and instead focus on his shirt, his coat. I've always liked blue on him, especially when it's dark blue. My hands move without permission as I straighten his coat.

"I'm sorry." The words slip out of my mouth before my brain registers them. "I didn't mean that; you can be friends with Madge. It doesn't bother me." if I have started, I might as well finish what I'm saying.

"I mean, I've spent years trying to convince you about her being a great person and you never listened. But I've got to admit I was a little jealous and hurt." I mutter, letting my hands slip from his coat and hang on either side of me.

He has to know why I acted like that. One of us might die and I need him to know everything before we go to the Capitol or before everyone starts pestering us.

"She means nothing to me, Heather. Why can't you see that?" he says after a while.

"That's not—it's just that you almost _died,_ your blood was on my hands and all I could think of was that I couldn't lose you," I mumble, my eyes watering again. It seems like I hadn't ran out of tears like I thought. "I almost lost you in the games and we won and you were supposed to be safe. You have no idea how much it hurts me to see you talk to everyone but me and—"

That's when it happens. My voice breaks, my head hangs low, tears start to flow again. Because I lost him two weeks ago because I was stupid and hurt but I still see him everyday, across the street, playing with Posy and making her squeal. But if he gets reaped, I'll lose him forever. His left hand goes under my chin and tilts it upwards, forcing me to make eye-contact with him. There's a broken look on the grey of his eyes that lets me know his thinking the same thing.

"I was scared and ashamed. I still am." His breath hits my face. "I only said those things because I was trying to shut you out. I never thought you'd break up with Me." he frowns.

"I wanted you to fight for me, to go after me. You clearly didn't." I whisper, suddenly aware of his forehead pressed to mine. He wipes a stray tear from my cheek.

"I didn't think you wanted me to, you're not the kind of girl who appreciates it when boys chase her out." He chuckles and I smile a little. "That doesn't mean I stopped loving you. I'll always love you." He says, going back to serious.

"You promise you'll never push me away, never?" I sniff.

"I swear," He whispers in my ear as he pulls me toward him and puts his arms around me, burying his face in my hair. I grab his shirt between my hands, breathing in his scent and closing my eyes.

"What are we going to do now?" I mutter against his chest. "One of us might go in again."

He shakes his head against my neck and pulls me closer, taking a shaky breath in. I close my eyes, trying to imagine nothing's wrong. We're two teenagers in love, in the middle of the woods, escaping from common things like exams or high school drama. I'll pretend this is the truth for five more minutes and then I'll come back to reality. The five minutes pass by faster than I want them to and I sigh, stepping out of Gale's hold but taking my hand in his.

"We have to talk to Haymitch." I explain.

We walk silently toward Haymitch's place and go in only to find Haymitch sitting in the kitchen table with a bottle of alcohol next to him and a full glass in his right hand. He's staring into space but judging by his face, he's not that drunk yet. I shake my head and walk to him, at the same time Gale takes the bottle away from the table.

"Haymitch?" I ask softly.

His eyes snap toward me and he blinks, giving me a sneer. I don't react, I know his anger and hatred is misdirected. He doesn't hate me; he hates the situation and the fact that he can't stop it. That's when I realize that he knows he's not the one going in, that it'll be either Gale or me.

"Hello, sweetheart. What? Did you realize who's going in besides you?" he asks harshly.

Somewhere to my side, something crashes to the floor, followed by a loud curse. I ignore it; instead I focus on Haymitch's words. Of course I know who else is going in, Finnick, Johanna and maybe my sister. That's not what shocks me, what does is the fact that he just admitted to me that I'm going in. is he sure? No, he can't be. This must be his delirious mind talking.

"It's late, Haymitch." I start as I grab him by the arm and help him get up. "Why don't you go to sleep, uh?"

"I'm not tired. Where's that bottle, Hawthorne?" he protests. I shoot Gale a look and he hurries to help me with Haymitch.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Gale shakes his head, trying to fight a smile.

We drag Haymitch up the stairs to his room and leave him on his bed. I hand him his knife and look down at him expectantly.

"You know, sweetheart, I think I liked you better when you hated me." he drawls.

"Mmm, too bad. Now, sleep. We'll talk tomorrow, all of us." I say as I twirl around and walk out. Gale follows me and closes the door behind him.

My mother lets Gale stay that night. I'm incredibly thankful for that. He waits until I'm on bed and facing the other way to take his shirt off and slid next to me. One of his arms goes around my middle as he gets as near as possible to me. It hurts me that he doesn't let me look but I don't say anything, it's a huge step forward for him to even take his shirt off.

"I love you." He says to me right before I fall asleep.

The next morning, Gale and I go straight to Haymitch and demand that he let us talk to Johanna and Finnick. I'd be lying if I say I don't have a plan, I always have a plan.

"Hey, how are you?" Finnick mumbles.

"I'm fine and so are you." I order. He blinks at me, just like everyone else but I don't care.

"Listen, I know you know you're going in and I know you know one of us is going in." I start. "And I know you're probably freaking out but I need to know if there's a possibility to get everyone out of there."

Silence follows and then:

"You are out of your mind." That's Johanna.

"Okay, Heather, I think you didn't think this through." Gale, as soothing as always.

"I actually did, Gale." I roll my eyes. "I know it seems impossible and I'm not saying I want to get 48 people out, although it'd be nice, what I'm saying is that three of us are going in and three of us are going out."

My plan is pretty simple. We've got allies in all the districts and in the capitol. What I want is for them to figure out a way to get us out of the arena alive and take us to 13, where we can start to plan this rebellion the right way. I did not want to fool around, taunting Snow and acting like I had The Capitol wrap around my little fingers. I want to act; I want to tear the Capitol down once and for all. I want all this over with and the Quarter Quell is the perfect opportunity.

"I know we can do this." I finish.

"So you want to risk hundreds of lives to save four?" Johanna asks.

"Five, actually. I know my sister is going in, it's obvious, and I want her out of there alive." I correct.

"And why would we do this? What makes you think anyone would risk so much?" she shoots at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Because I'm the mockingjay," I tell her.

I'm the mockingjay. They'll do anything I say. And, besides, the rebellion needs Finnick and Johanna almost as much as it needs me. Finnick and Johanna both glance at Haymitch and then, confusing me in great amounts, Finnick smiles.

"Finally, sweetheart. I didn't think it'd take you this long," Haymitch says from beside me.

"What?" I ask.

"I think we can do what you suggest. But we have to talk to some people and you can't know everything yet." Haymitch explains to me.

I blink at all of them. Finnick is still smiling, in fact his eyes are shining, something I hadn't seen in a while. Johanna doesn't look as bitter as she usually is and Gale isn't frowning at my suggestion anymore. What the hell is up with this people? Was admitting to being the mockingjay the only thing I had to say so this people would treat me like my opinion matters? I should've done it months ago. I laugh out loud, laugh harder than I've ever laughed in the last year, and fling my arms around Haymitch's neck.

"Thank you, thank you, _sweetheart._" I laugh at his frown.

"Wait, wait, you do know what this means, right?" Johanna asks.

"Of course I do. And I hope you'll be with me in this, both of you," I say, meeting their eyes.

Johanna looks down, knowing very well that it's her trust and support I doubt. Finnick is with me, every step of the way. But Johanna hates me, I'm not sure about her yet.

"Right, sorry. I'm just not a very happy person. But you can count on Me." she nods, trying a weak smile.

"In that case, we're taking Snow down. I want him on the cold hard ground." I inform them.

…

"Well, I'm done here." I say. "Did you get rid off all of it, Gale?" I call upstairs.

"Yes." He calls back.

I put the box of empty bottle on the table and turn to Haymitch. He's resting his head on the kitchen table, staring blankly at the box. He's obviously still drunk. It's been a week since I talked to Finnick and Johanna and everyday Haymitch's been drunker and drunker. It has to stop.

"Here it is, all empty," Gale says as he tosses his own box on the table. "I poured it all down the drain."

Haymitch snaps his head up so fast I'm surprised he's not groaning from the pain it must have caused to his head. He looks at the boxes and then at us. I'm standing next to Gale, my arms crossed.

"What?" he asks, looking over the bottles for one that's not empty.

"We tossed it all." I say.

"I'll just buy more." He says.

"No, you won't." Gale replies smoothly.

"We've talked to Ripper, told her that if she sells you more we'll turn her in." I add, sharing a look with Gale.

"What business is it to you what I do?" Haymitch snaps, attempting to hit Gale with his knife and failing.

"One of us will go into the arena and two of us will try everything we can to get that person out. We can't have drunks in our team." Gale snaps back with little to no finesse.

Haymitch glares at him for a moment and Gale easily glares back. I sigh and walk forward to Haymitch, crouching next to him and forcing him to look at me.

"Haymitch, I know you need it to cope. I do. But you have us now and we're not going anywhere, I promise." I start, trying to meet his eyes.

He mainly drinks to forget, because reality is too hard. Because he lost his family, his girl, his friends and there was nothing he could do to stop it. But he's dying slowly the more he drinks and I can't have that.

"I want to avenge your mother, your girl, your friends…even Maysilee," I tell him; Maysilee's name brings his attention to me. I meet his eyes. "And I want you to be there, watching me do it, _sober._"

He stays silent for a moment, his grey eyes locked to mine. I'm overwhelmed by how empty they are. I want to change that, I need to change that.

"You know we're all going to die," He says with finality.

"No, we won't. Will you help me get ready for the arena?" I beg, pouting at him.

"You might not go in, could be Gale." he mumbles.

I smile, knowing he's given in. he rolls his eyes at me, grunting.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm nice." He waves me off. "Much better when you hated me."

After that day, we spend half of the day training. We run, we fight, and we practice with our bows. Sometimes, most of the times, I call Katniss to join us and Peeta watches from a small distance. It takes weeks for us to finally get Haymitch in form but finally we do. Even though he's not going in, he ought to be healthy just in case.

Unfortunately, and to everyone's dismay, Reaping day comes fast. That day is hot and sultry; the entire population of District 12 waits in the square with guns trained on them. Gale, Haymitch and I stand in a secluded area, surrounded by a rope. Next to us, stand those who are between seventeen and eighteen, waiting for their fate.

Up in the stage stand five reaping bowls: one for the girls between 17 and 18, another for the boys, another bowl with both girls and boys mixed together so they can choose the third tribute, a fourth bowl with the names of the female victor and a fifth one with the male victors. My eyes are trained on the fourth bowl and on the fourth bowl alone. There are around one hundred slips of paper in that bowl and they all say _Heather Everdeen. _

Effie walks in, more stunning than usual. She has a golden wig on and her dress is a metallic color, I'm not quite sure if it's purple or pink. I don't exactly like Capitol fashion but I have to admit she looks great. But despite that, she lacks her usual verve. She doesn't smile as much and her voice isn't that bubbly.

"Happy Hunger Games and,"—she hesitates, looking over at us.—"may the odds be _ever_ in your favor."

I take a deep breath in as she goes to the girls bowl. She puts a hand in and starts to move it around, trying to decide which slip to take. Finally, probably realizing she's taking too long, she picks one up and goes over to the microphone. I watch as Effie opens it and opens her mouth to speak, but the words seem to get caught in her throat. She clears her throat, smiling apologetically at the crowd as if saying 'silly cold', before speaking.

"Katniss Everdeen."

My stomach drops but somehow I'm not as affected as I should. I was expecting Katniss to be reaped, so I was mentally prepared to hear those words. I'm not mentally prepared, though, to hear Effie call Peeta Mellark again. He's my friend, true, but nothing else. Why would he go in? Because he's important to Katniss and Katniss is important to me. People must think he's got the worse luck ever, being reaped two years in a row.

Then Effie walks toward the third bowl and my heart starts to beat hard against my ribcage. This is it, this is the moment that decides whether I go or Gale goes in.

"Terrance Geller," Effie calls.

A skinny boy with black hair and old clothes walks up to the stage with a frighten look on his face. My heart almost stops. I'm going in. Effie's eyes go back to me, no doubt hearing my gasp, which I'm sure the entire square did.

"Now, with the female victor," She says and moves over to the fourth bowl.

I bite my lip, focusing only on Effie. If my eyes go to either Gale or Katniss I might cry. And I can't cry now. Instead, I shake my head and put on the fiercest expression I can muster. This time Effie's hand hesitantly moves around the pieces of paper and I can see the slight shake in her fingers as she brings the slip out. She moves to the microphone again and it takes her a few seconds to open the piece of paper.

"Heather Everdeen," She calls, her eyes finding mine.

I move toward the stage, walking up the stage slowly, until I'm next to her. Then the normal procedure occurs, we all shake hands and we're ushered inside the Justice Building. I'm thinking of what to say to my family and friends, when we run into Thread.

"There's been a slight change, new procedure," He tells us with a smile.

We follow him through the back of the building, my mind racing while trying to figure out what this means, they get us into a car and drive us to the station. No cameras await for us there, we're simply ushered inside and the door closes loudly behind us. Inside the train, Haymitch, Gale and Effie wait for us. I don't know how they got here so fast. All I know, as I stare out the window and watch District 12 go, is that I never got to tell my family and friends how much I love them.

_**A/N: **_**hello my lovelies, I'm sorry for the delay but I came back from Brazil with the worst flu ever and was unavailable for like a week. And ,then, life got in the way and I couldn't find time to write. Anyway, as a reward, I've got good news. Chapter 22 is halfway done, which means I'll probably update it tomorrow. I love you all, thanks for your patience. xoxo,**

**me. **


	23. Chapter 23

**_Chapter 22:_**

I slowly turn from the window and face the others. Peeta is clutching Katniss' hand almost as if it were life support. I feel a pang on my chest at the thought that they'll never get to marry, Peeta will die. Then, my eyes find Terrance; the boy is obviously from the Seam. He's not tall and very thin, doesn't look seventeen at all. I know he'll die first. Haymitch is not making eye contact with anyone and Effie looks close to tears. Gale bites his lip and frowns. I take a deep breath in and say:

"All right," I clap, everyone jumps. "Effie, don't you have to show them around the train?"

"Oh, of course. Follow me," she says, back to her bubbly self.

Once they leave, I quickly take Gale's hand and start to walk to my room. Haymitch opens his mouth but one look from me shuts him up. The door to my room hasn't completely closed yet when my lips are already on his. We kiss our way to the bed, where we sit and simply keep kissing until we run out of breath.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry," He mumbles against my neck.

I nod. His words do the unavoidable, they make me cry. My chin quivers as I try to stop the tears from falling. I'm going into the arena, really going in. There's no looking back, no other opportunity and, even though they're all planning to get us out, I could die. Once I'm inside the arena it's up to me. I could die at the hands of another tribute before they managed to get us out. If that happens, I would never be able to grow up, to marry him. My hands go around his neck as I hug him as tight as I can; he soon puts his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as possible. He hides his face on the crook of my neck and I run my hand through his hair as soothingly as possible.

"This is my fault," He mumbles after a few minutes.

"No," I sniff. "No, don't say that, please."

He lifts his head from my neck but doesn't let go off me. My heart breaks at how pained he looks. His gray eyes are shining with unshed tears and all I want to do is kiss them away.

"Heather, don't you see? They reaped Katniss to get back at you; they almost killed me for the same reason. And now, they're reaping you to get back at _me_," he shakes his head.

It's a very possible theory. Snow hasn't done anything to him yet and it was kind of about time. Hurting me so he can hurt him is the best idea. He's the one who has shown his feelings for me and how important I am to him since the very start, I'm the one who has showed everyone I'd do anything for my family since the beginning. Then, I showed them how much I love Gale. They hurt him first and now they want to kill my sister so I can finally break beyond repair point. They want to kill me now because, in that case, they finally get rid of the rebellion's symbol and, also break the second most important victor in the process. They think that if I died, Gale wouldn't do anything. He'd simply give up.

"So I'm sorry," he shrugs, clenching his jaw.

I take his face in my hands and kiss him softly, brushing one betraying tear away from his face. I don't think I've ever seen Gale cry before; he's always the strong one. He, however, has seen me cry countless of times. He deserves to be comforted once in a while. I hug him again, enjoying how he snuggles into my neck.

"I'll come back," I promise.

Because I will. Even if the plan to get us out fails and we have to stay in the arena until the end, I will win for him. The Capitol doesn't realize that by doing this they're making me stronger. I went in the first time for my little sister; I'm going in this time for the love of my life.

"We all will," I whisper low enough so the surveillance won't catch what I'm saying.

We snuggle into bed, wrapped in each others arms until Effie knocks on my door because it's time for dinner. Dinner is awkward and awfully quiet. The only sound there is, is the removal of dishes. We have soup, fish cakes, those delicious little birds with wild rice and chocolate pie with cherries.

"I love your new hair, Effie," I comment, trying to fill the empty silence.

Katniss stares at me with anger, obviously not understanding the way the dysfunctional relationship between Effie, Haymitch and us works. I ignore her and focus on the Capitol citizen.

"Thank you, Heather. I had it done so it would match your pin, actually," Effie answers.

I think about it for a minute. She wants to match my pin. Does that mean she's part of the rebellion too or that she just wants to use what's fashionable right now? I glance at Haymitch, who is sitting next to Effie, and wonder why he's never told us Effie's part in all this.

"I was thinking, actually, we might get you all a gold ankle band and find Haymitch a gold bracelet so we can all look like a team," Effie continues.

Gale, Haymitch and I make eye contact and I know we're thinking the same thing: none of us want Terrance in our team. Katniss? Definitely; Peeta? Maybe, but not Terrance.

"I think that's a great idea," I say, cheerier than usual. "What do you think, Haymitch?"

"Yeah, whatever." he clears his throat.

"Maybe we should get you a wig, too," Gale jokes, nobody laughs.

"Should we watch the recap of the reaping?" Effie asks as she cleans her mouth with a white napkin.

We all get up and move to the compartment where the television is. I realize with a start that there's a marked difference between us and the new tributes. Effie sits straight and correctly, as always, while Haymitch simply slumps into his seat. Gale and I occupy the loveseat, with me using his lap as a pillow and getting comfortable. Terrance sits on the floor, near the T.V. and Peeta and Katniss share another couch, looking around uncomfortably. We are used to the train, acting almost like we're at home, while they are looking at everything like it can bite.

I focus on all the tributes from District 1 and 2, after that I only pay attention to the chosen victor. The three tributes from 1 look lethal, just like all the tributes from 1 do, and the victor, Gloss, is not exactly friendly-looking. Gloss is young, maybe in his early to mid 20s, and incredibly beautiful with shiny blond hair. From District 2, two male tributes are reaped, meaning the victor will have to be female. I watch as Enobaria, a woman in her 30s with sharp pointy teeth, makes her way to the stage. I immediately know I won't like her. Then Beetee gets reaped in District 3, no surprise there. Apart from him, the other tributes don't look too bad. When District 4 comes up, I take a deep breath in.

I watch without paying attention as the three tributes are reaped, I don't even remember their names. My eyes are trained on the side where the victors are standing. Mags, Anne and Finnick stand there. I feel bad for Anne, having to watch Finnick go in the arena for a second time. I wouldn't be able to watch Gale. I sit up straight when the call Finnick into the stage, his bronze hair catching the sun. I know I knew he was going in but I wish he could stay home. Later when I see Johanna Mason, the girl I thought I hated but turns out she's somehow become my friend, I can't take it.

I put my face between my hands for the rest of the reaping, only hearing some things like Effie's distressed 'not Cecelia!' or the fact that Chaff, a close friend of Haymitch's, is also going in. We have to go through the plan now more than ever, but Haymitch hasn't told me much about it; majorly because it'd be better if the Capitol thought I know I'm doomed. And for me to act doomed, I need to think I am.

After the Capitol commentator exclaims that she bets this will be the best games ever, Haymitch rushes put of the room quickly and Effie, without really knowing what to say, follows suit, not after excusing herself and wishing us a goodnight. I lift my head and run my hands through my recently brushed hair.

"Terrance, why don't you go to sleep? Tomorrow will be a very long day, trust me," I tell him.

The boy in question jumps at the sound of my voice, which rings through the heavy silence. He nods and gets up, going back to his room. He looks back at us twice but averts my eyes.

"What do you think of the tributes?" I question Katniss and Peeta.

Peeta glances at Katniss, a frown taking over his features. Katniss, however, simply looks at me with suspicion.

"They're… something," Peeta says.

"Who is Finnick? You got all stressed out when he got reaped," Katniss asks instead.

Gale and I share a look.

"He's a friend," Gale answers vaguely.

"Sure," Katniss says. "Can we go to bed?"

I sigh and nod, watching as Katniss gets up quickly and walks away. Peeta, though, stays behind.

"Safe?" he mouths to me.

I frown. What does he mean? Then, Gale shakes his head. Peeta nods and leans in closer to us.

"Forgive Katniss, she's stressed," he explains. "And I'm sorry about your friends," he adds, getting up and leaving, not before sending me a soft smile.

Peeta Mellark is amazing. He discovered why we weren't giving out information and he was smart enough not to say anything about it. We decide then to watch all the old games of the victors; we spend hours sitting there and, at some point, I fall soundlessly asleep.

I wake up with a halt, lifting my head from Gale's shoulder, startled. I look around, everything is perfect, and we're still on the train. My dream hadn't been exactly ugly. I had been scared, yes, but that's normal. I'm always scared when I'm about to go to sleep. So, what woke me? Just then, a loud snore comes from beside me and I jump at the sound. Gale had fallen asleep in such an awkward position that turned his soft snoring into very loud snoring. He snores again and I put a hand to my mouth to stifle the giggles. I shake his shoulder softly, waiting for him to wake up. He jumps a little and looks around. Then his eyes fall on me and he smiles a little.

"What are you laughing about?"

"You," I say, laughing.

"Really now? And why?" he mocks me.

"You snore," I say with a straight face and seconds later, I burst out laughing again.

He laughs along with me although I'm pretty sure he's laughing at my silliness. Then, he puts one arm around me and kisses me. And I know that, at least for now, everything's fine.

Once we reach The Capitol, the normal procedure occurs. We are taken to our prep teams for the preparation and, then, to our stylists. I'm used to it and so is Gale but the others aren't, so they're a mess of nerves. I am not prepared, though, to how my prep team receives me. They are so emotional, all of them burst out crying at least once. I suppose they don't like it when their victors have to die.

"I swear if you cry, I'll kill you here and now." I warn as Cinna enters the room.

"Had a damp morning?" he smiles at me.

"You have no idea." I hug him.

"Don't worry; I channel my emotions into my work. That way I only hurt myself." He tells me as we move to where my clothes are.

Cinna does my make-up. Last year, he used light colors and little to none make-up so people would recognize me. Now, he's using dark colors and lots of shadows and highlights. Once he's finished, I have smoldering eyes, shark cheekbones, perfect eyebrows and purple lips. I wear a very simple jumpsuit that covers me from neck to ankle and he puts a tiara like the one they gave me when I won on my head. The one I received as a victor was gold but this one is made out of a black metal. Cinna dims the lights and then pushes a small button on the wrist of my sleeve. I watch in amazement as I light up, literally. Last year I looked like I had stolen the embers from a fire; this year, I _am_ fire itself.

"Cinna…" I start but he lifts a finger, signalizing me to be quiet because he's not over yet. Putting his hands on my shoulders, her turns me around to the mirror.

I don't recognize myself but, unlike last year when that was a bad thing, this is good. I'm a grown woman, a brave woman, who will do anything to survive. Heather Everdeen, the girl on fire, has become as lethal and dangerous as fire itself.

"This is all I needed, thank you."

"Yes, your days of pink and ribbons and innocence are over. It's Katniss' play now. You, on the other hand, have to show them that you're here to win," He tells me. He turns off my suit. "Oh, and you'll be riding alone in the carriage. I want you to look right to the front and I want you to ignore everyone. No matter how much they call out your name, don't acknowledge them."

"Great." I smile.

Seeing as though Cinna is busy, I go down to the Remake Center, where all the tributes wait until the ceremony, and start to look for Gale. Once I make it down I realize something right away. Last year everybody was glued to their mentors and crew; this year, the victors are together, chatting and laughing, while the tributes are looking around scared as hell. I can't find Gale or anyone around so I move to my chariot and start to pass my hand through one of the horse's neck.

"Miss Everdeen," Someone says in my ear.

I beam as I recognize the voice and turn around. Finnick Odair is standing right in front of me, a dashing smile on his beautiful face. His sea-green eyes are shinning as he eats a sugar cube.

"Finnick!" I exclaim as I hug him.

"Do you want a sugar cube?" he asks me, showing me his hand.

It is filled with multiple sugar cubes. I laugh and shake my head. Then, I say:  
"You, mister, are practically naked. Keep it classy, Finn, never trashy."

He laughs out loud, so loud some people turn to us. "Well, my body is my best trait, you see. You could try it if you want?" he teases.

"Oh, no, sweetheart, you're late. I mean, as much as you want me, I know, I'm already taken." I tease back, knowing quite well that he does not want me at all. He's got Annie, just like I've got Gale.

"Yes, she is."

Katniss reaches us with her arms crossed and her brows scrunched up. Finnick simply smiles at her while she regards his practically naked body. Her nose scrunches up. I notice how she's not wearing the same as I. Her suit looks a little like the same I wore last year. Cinna was serious. Katniss is going to be the sweet soft flame, while I'm the raging volcano.

"Katniss, this is Finnick!" I say animatedly.

Katniss' gaze turns to me before rolling her eyes and walking away toward Peeta, who is a few tributes away from us.

"She's lovely," Finnick comments. I shake my head.

I don't want to talk about that. Instead, I focus on him again. He's wearing a fishing net that knots on his groin so you cannot say he's literally naked, which he is. Everyone is obsessed with Finnick, so I suppose his stylist thought it'd be a good idea to display as much of Finnick as possible.

"Do you think I'd be looking too slutty in that net?" I ask, tilting my head to the side.

"Yes," he says immediately, shaking his head at me. "But I do have to say I don't recognize you at all. You scared the hell out of me when I first saw you." He frowns.

"Sweet is tiring." I admit.

"Very true." He nods. Then he looks over my shoulder and waves someone over. I look around to see Gale walking toward us.

"Hello, Finnick." He nods at him.

"Gale," he nods and then smiles on last time at me. "I'll leave you alone."

We watch him go. I turn to Gale and squeeze his hand.

"Hey, what do you think?" I ask as I signal to myself.

He gives me a once over and the leans in, kissing my cheek before brushing his lips all the way to my ear. I shudder a little.

"You've never been hotter." He whispers in my ear. I giggle like a school girl.

"You look pretty hot yourself," I whisper back, moving my face to meet his eyes.

Portia gave him a black suit with a white shirt underneath. The cuffs of his sleeves are a little bit on fire as well but they're the same type of flames of my costume, not Katniss'. He goes in for a kiss but I pull back a little.

"Nope, no kissing." I lift a finger. "Cinna took a lot of effort on my make-up."

"Fine, I'll wait until the ceremony is over then."

He puts his arms around my shoulders and brings me to him while I circle his waist with my own arms. We watch our surroundings in silence. Finnick has joined the group of victors and is chatting away with Cecelia while Johanna is still nowhere in sight.

After a few minutes, the music starts and Peeta, Katniss and Terrance appear next to us. I watch as they go into their chariot, everyone who is not a victor is sharing one, and look around nervously. Katniss and Peeta are very good at faking they're fine but Terrance is a mess of nerves. District 12's crew walks up to us. Effie is gorgeous; her dress is so vibrant that when the light hits it, it shines. I do notice, though, how Effie and Haymitch are standing right next to each other, quite close, may I add, without biting each other's head off. That's weird. Haymitch looks completely sober, which makes me feel proud for him. Then Cinna walks up and lights the others up. Their fire is soft, not as soft as candlelight but isn't as strong as a raging fire. They're more like blue fire. They complement me in a way but they don't out shadow me.

"It's your turn, Heather," Cinna tells me. I sigh and nod.

"I love you," Gale says in my ear lowly.

"I love you more," I say back as I lift my head and give him a kiss on his cheek.

It leaves a kiss mark on his cheek and I smile at it. I'm the only girl wearing purple lipstick so it's almost like my signature on his cheek. Getting out of his embrace, I smile at Effie and Haymitch and get into the chariot. Cinna turns my suit on.

"Good luck, sweetheart." Haymitch calls to me.

"Thank you," I say and with that we start to roll.

The victors go first and then the other three tributes. I do as Cinna told me. I look straight ahead, I don't smile, I simply look straight. People gasp and clap louder than before when they spot me. I ignore everything, all the hysteria, and all the screams. At some point, I even start to glare a little without even realizing it. In one opportunity I catch sight of myself. I already knew I looked lethal but with my glare, I not only look powerful, I look unforgiving. And I am. At least, towards The Capitol.

Once we all get to the City Circle, I start to examine both the tributes and the victors. Some stylists have tried to copy Cinna's style, but it's poorly done. My eyes meet Johanna's and she sends me a secret message: Nailed it. And she's right, I nailed it. Not only I did, but her and Finnick as well, just like we all had planned. I notice how everyone's eyes are trained on me and only me. I don't pay attention though; after I'm done communicating with Johanna and Finnick, my eyes go to where Snow is. Snow's eyes don't leave me throughout his speech. I put all my hatred for him in my glare. Then we're rolling away.

Katniss and Terrance relax the moment we're back at the Remake Center but Peeta is smart and doesn't relax at all until the doors are fully closed. I do the same. I get down. I want to talk to some of the victors, I know Gale wants to as well, but the Capitol's attendants push us to the elevator. I think they don't like the fact us victors get along so well much. Gale and I lead the way, with the other three District 12 tributes following us. I don't pay attention to anything until someone appears by my side: Johanna Mason.

"My stylist is the most ridiculous of all; my District has been wearing trees for at least forty years. I wish I had Cinna as my stylist." She converses animatedly.

I falter on my step a little bit. Johanna is not the kind of girl who simply walks up to you and starts up a conversation about clothing. Then I notice how the Capitol assistants distance a little when she's around and how Gale has been walking in a way that makes it look like he's standing in front of me, not next to me. Finnick wouldn't let me alone until Gale appeared. It all falls together in my mind like pieces into place. They're my own personal bodyguards; they're scared the Capitol, or one of the Capitol's pet, might try something against me.

"He's great, although he's been allowing me to contribute a little with the designs and all that. You know, things like choosing the fabric or color." I comment.

"I know! Katniss, did you see the dress she wore on District 2? The blue one with diamonds? It was fashion perfection," Johanna says to my sister, who jumps two feet in the air and is clearly uncomfortable with Johanna's presence.

While we wait for the elevator, Johanna strips off of her ugly costume and throws it aside with a disgusted look. Katniss' eyes practically fall off their sockets. I turn to Gale to stifle my laugh, Johanna notices, though. We go in the elevator and Johanna spends the entire trip up to floor 7 talking with Peeta. Katniss ignores her but I can feel the awkwardness radiating off of her. When we reach floor 12, I can't keep my laugh in anymore.

"What?" Katniss snaps once she notices Gale and I laughing.

"It's all because of you, you know. She only wanted to annoy you," I tell her.

The elevator opens and in come Haymitch and Effie, laughing about something in particular. Our teasing of Katniss ends there, of course. Effie's laugh stops when she notices Haymitch's somber expression. She follows his gaze and looks surprised, this makes us all interested so we turn to where they're looking.

"Oh, well, it seems like they got you a matching pair this year." Effie comments.

We turn to meet the same Avox girl that tended to us last year, same pale skin and fiery hair, then my eyes slowly turn to the other Avox standing next to her. He also has fiery red hair. I stifle a gasp as my hand searches Gale's, he meets me halfway. This isn't any Avox, this is Darius.

"I think… I think I'm going to be sick." I coughed up, running down the hallway and toward my room's bathroom.


End file.
